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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To counterfeit my daughters Christmas presents?

259 replies

Wazzitnow · 24/10/2023 21:21

OK, so she's into some obscure person ATM. Shes autistic and her people of interest changes bi yearly.

Right now it's this person who has a clothing range that is only available in the USA and is crazy expensive. $100 for a hoodie "$40 for a Tshirt type thing.

She's never seen his merch in real life and it's really cheap iron on kind of stuff.

And his inside label tag is very simple.

I have a printing machine and could very easily forge the items and make the label for inside the collar too.

I don't want to spend that much money on some obscure Tshirt with 1 word on just for the label.

But in true autistic teen style this is all she wants.

I'd get charged import fees too.

It's unlikely she would ever know because ei doubt she will ever come across a real piece of merch from him

And the style he has along with the label he has means it would be super easy to make and there would really be no way for her to know.

I wouldn't be selling them obviously. Just a few items, couple of Tshirts and a hoodie for her.

Would be around £35 quid instead of £200+!

And I know she won't be into him by summer either which makes me even more reluctant.

OP posts:
Isthisrealorjustfantasy · 27/10/2023 11:17

I have fallen for this before when dd was younger & prob ND but still waiting for now adult dd to start the diagnosis process. I’d prob say that the items can’t be sent here tbh - I wouldn’t be able to replicate - or be arsed to do it!!

Lavender14 · 27/10/2023 11:18

I think you'd need to be really confident in your ability to make it look really good. It does feel a bit ick for me in the copyright respect, I know it's just words etc but someone has still put the work into designing that.

If it were me, I'd get her one of the cheaper items and then other things for Xmas. I don't think the alternative would sit quite right with me and I'd feel a little guilty when I saw her wearing it.

Plus boundaries are still boundaries, if she asks for something super expensive its reasonable to say no it's too expensive and we can't afford it, or you can have some of it but not all because that's too much money. That's a good life lesson for her to learn.

Ineke · 27/10/2023 11:24

I would do it but, be warned, if she thinks she is getting the really expensive stuff, T shirt, and the cake you made, where will she learn about financial planning and that money does not grow on trees. You could tell her, after she had got the T shirt, loved it and couldn’t tell the difference, that actually you had made it yourself as you really wanted her to have the trainers too as well as the art stuff and you didn’t have the money for everything. She will need to appreciate the cost of living one day, and if she thinks that you can afford to get all that she wants, she will have a rude awakening!

NicolaPower64 · 27/10/2023 13:07

If I was you I would do it, but I would tell her I can't afford it and so I made her it.

Manthide · 27/10/2023 15:02

Would your dd mind if you told her you made it yourself? My autistic ds wouldn't mind in the least if he was getting the same thing basically. Of course if the t shirt was actually designer and had entailed creative input then I would say no but sticking a word on a t-shirt! My dd3 had a thing about Billy Eilish a few years ago and most of the merc was just something basic with her name on it.

Manthide · 27/10/2023 15:07

You do know these items are made in factories in China or Vietnam etc and the celebrity has nothing to do with them. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't individually touch each item or visit the factory - they just allow their name to be used for a price!

DarklySparkly · 27/10/2023 15:19

Totally do it! I love that you can!

Allinadayswork80 · 27/10/2023 16:54

If they didn’t want people to replicate they shouldn’t make them so bloody expensive! Especially for the naff quality they probably are. I bought my niece a original merch T-shirt for Xmas last year for a singer she loves which was crazy expensive for just a cheap tshirt with a simple print on it. Wish I’d have had the ability to replicate.

CreativeNeurodivergent · 27/10/2023 21:41

Tbh I would ask her if she'd be cool with a version you've made - if she's already made her own posters etc she may not care if it's the actual merch or just looks like it (I'm autistic and wouldn't have cared either way). Might even be a good precedent to set!

Bamboobzled · 28/10/2023 18:35

Definitely do it! Don't let anyone here guilt you. You know your child!

Bamboobzled · 28/10/2023 18:42

Bushgirl · 27/10/2023 11:12

This is a bad thing to do for so many reasons. First of all your child will know. The majority of people with ASD will have likely researched the item of clothing down to the last detail. Possibly including thread count, what the label is made of etc , to the tiniest detail. You said your DD is not on social media, but clearly is able to research what she wants online. I don't claim to know your daughter, but I do know mine, and even if I've got this wrong, if she ever finds out what you did at best you are going to look very sheepish but at worst you will have lost your DD's trust. I understand your reasoning but honestly, if you don't want to buy these for her because of the costs ( which is a perfectly good reason) then you should explain that, rather than try to trick her.
I'm not even going to start on design theft etc. You may (justifiably) feel that the items are overpriced - many things are, but that IS the price, and making a counterfeit copy is morally and legally wrong.
Maybe you should discuss this with your DD, and if you do decide to make fake copies for her at least do it with her knowledge and agreement. Trust me, if you don't, and it backfires you will regret it.

Morally wrong? So is getting kids addicted to your videos and selling 'merch' at Insane prices not giving a thought to how it might stretch someone's budget or make kids feel left out if their friends have it. It will be made in some cheap factory just like every other fast fashion item and the tiktoker will be making a fortune.

Bushgirl · 28/10/2023 19:00

So Bamboozled, as a parent explain that to your child. Nobody is forced to buy anything, and I agree that things like this are grossly overpriced for what they are. It isn't limited to people on Tiktok. Do you really think set of hair curling tongs made by Dyson (made in the Philippines) is worth £500 ?? Or a meal in a "fine dining " restaurant for £250 a head? People are prepared to pay silly money for things but that's their choice. I don't really see that selling merch is any different if it's what you want to buy.
However I think you have also missed my point which is more about how the OP's daughter might feel if she were fooled into believing she had been bought what she had asked for. I just don't think it's the right thing to do.

Bushgirl · 28/10/2023 19:07

Bamboobzled · 28/10/2023 18:42

Morally wrong? So is getting kids addicted to your videos and selling 'merch' at Insane prices not giving a thought to how it might stretch someone's budget or make kids feel left out if their friends have it. It will be made in some cheap factory just like every other fast fashion item and the tiktoker will be making a fortune.

Show quote history

So Bamboozled, as a parent explain that to your child. Nobody is forced to buy anything, and I agree that things like this are grossly overpriced for what they are. It isn't limited to people on Tiktok. Do you really think set of hair curling tongs made by Dyson (made in the Philippines) is worth £500 ?? Or a meal in a "fine dining " restaurant for £250 a head? People are prepared to pay silly money for things but that's their choice. I don't really see that selling merch is any different if it's what you want to buy.
However I think you have also missed my point which is more about how the OP's daughter might feel if she were fooled into believing she had been bought what she had asked for. I just don't think it's the right thing to do.

nanamoo · 28/10/2023 23:33

Do what you have to do, more so if your daughter wouldn't know the difference.

If you did buy it from the US, you wouldn't have any import fee's other than the 20% tax that should be added at checkout, as long as the total is under £135 ( i buy a lot of things from outside UK)

users953269 · 29/10/2023 01:58

I'm autistic and would be able to detect the fakery.
I don't think you should illegally counterfeit an item. She needs to understand the finances around expensive attire.

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/10/2023 01:13

users953269 · 29/10/2023 01:58

I'm autistic and would be able to detect the fakery.
I don't think you should illegally counterfeit an item. She needs to understand the finances around expensive attire.

How would you be able to spot the fakery?

Given that you have not, in this situation, actually seen the real thing up close.

users953269 · 29/10/2023 01:25

@PyongyangKipperbang I'm autistic and play meticulous attention to detail.
One of the things I've heavily researched or one of my "obsessions" at once was counterfeit goods so every time I go out I play spot the fake bag.
Buying a t-shirt and then printing something onto the top at home - I'd be able to tell.

Annoyingfly · 29/10/2023 01:29

users953269 · 29/10/2023 01:25

@PyongyangKipperbang I'm autistic and play meticulous attention to detail.
One of the things I've heavily researched or one of my "obsessions" at once was counterfeit goods so every time I go out I play spot the fake bag.
Buying a t-shirt and then printing something onto the top at home - I'd be able to tell.

Doesn't mean OPs daughter will. Met one autistic person, etc?

users953269 · 29/10/2023 01:44

@Annoyingfly Perhaps read my comment. Can you point out where I said OP's daughter would?

gossipgurl · 29/10/2023 01:49

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/10/2023 01:13

How would you be able to spot the fakery?

Given that you have not, in this situation, actually seen the real thing up close.

Show quote history

The same way anyone else spots fakery:

The use of sight, the use of the internet, the feeling that something is too good to be true, the facts not matching up. There’s literally guides online on how to spot fakes.

Are you just assuming she won’t have the wherewithal because she has autism?

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/10/2023 02:15

gossipgurl · 29/10/2023 01:49

The same way anyone else spots fakery:

The use of sight, the use of the internet, the feeling that something is too good to be true, the facts not matching up. There’s literally guides online on how to spot fakes.

Are you just assuming she won’t have the wherewithal because she has autism?

Edited
Show quote history

What the hell has autism got to do with it? You can keep that bee in your bonnet as it has no relevance to my question!

The OP has described the items, they dont sound particularly high quality, and she as a professional can easily replicate them. A person who has not seen the item up close cannot say with confidence that they will definitely spot the fake. "The fact that something seems to good to be true".....she is a kid who asked for a particular item for Xmas and got what seems to be that item. Do you really think she will spend Boxing day scrutinising Youtube to check that the expensive official merch matches her (probably better quality) knock off merch??!

There was an segment on a watchdog type show not that long ago that had experts picking out fakes and they where about 50/50. This was designer bags, so one would assume a lot easier to pick apart and yet they didnt always manage it.

The kids wandering around in these clothes dont actually care about their provenance, most of them will be market stall knock offs anyhow, they just want the look. And if the OP can give her dd that, who the hell cares?

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/10/2023 02:18

users953269 · 29/10/2023 01:44

@Annoyingfly Perhaps read my comment. Can you point out where I said OP's daughter would?

In which case, what is your point.

You would spot it, well done you. But the Op isnt planning on giving it to you, so....?!

users953269 · 29/10/2023 06:23

@PyongyangKipperbang

Typical accelerated responses from you.

I can post what I want. You're not there to police what I write. I did not write anything wrong.

users953269 · 29/10/2023 06:23

@PyongyangKipperbang

Autism has everything to do with your responses.

EMUKE · 29/10/2023 06:44

Good for you Mumma! Have the best Xmas and enjoy making your presents! Wish I was your friend is probs also see what you could do for me 🤣

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