Samaritans

[XmasCheerio]

I volunteer for the Samaritans (email hub rather than phones), it’s a relatively recent thing but I’m a bit surprised at how unhelpful it all seems. We can’t give advice and have a ‘listening wheel’ to follow which structures our responses.

However, I find this makes responses quite robotic. I can see previous responses from other volunteers in an email thread and there’s a shocking amount of just parroting back the callers problems to them. If it were me reaching out to the Samaritans I’d be looking for some advice, not just repeating back what I’ve said, summarising and interrogating me with questions.

They also have a self determination policy which means if a caller is suicidal we’re not to try and talk them out of it. AIBU in thinking it could be more helpful than this?

Was this not covered in your training? I don't work for Samaritans (but i do work in mental health) and even I know this. How have you got this far without having been told?

No, I used this helpline a few years ago through email and I found it very unhelpful. They were, just as you said repeating back to me what I'd said, with no real advice or help. As soon as I got back with a positive email, they never got back again. It was as if, OK she won't need us anymore. The same name they use to sign off emails which are from various volunteers , I found very unhelpful

YANBU at all. It's interesting to read your post because I called Samaritans once for advice about a suicidal colleague (it was and still is impossible to get any other help) and thought I was unlucky enough to get someone unconcerned and incapable on the other end of the line.

I had no idea the parroting back of information or the total lack of concern about the suicide threats was a policy.

I returned to the UK after years overseas and it seems like everything else here. Totally useless. Designed to process vast numbers of people without spending any resources on figuring out how to provide real help. Designed for avoiding accountability in case of a problem instead of actually helping.

I agree. Why even bother.

You should read the Samaritans website, I think you're shockingly badly informed. The listening wheel isn't simply about parroting back information either.

Of course I knew from the start of training but that doesn’t detract from me thinking it’s an unhelpful way to deal with people with, largely in my experience, MH problems. I also work in MH which is maybe why I think it’s unhelpful.

I don’t need the read their website, I’m a fully trained volunteer! I’m just reflecting on my experience with how it is being put into practice, on emails at least.

I wanted to volunteer for samaritans so went to a presentation and discovered:

1. you can't advise
2. you can't share anything about your own life

So WTF are you supposed to say then? "That must be hard (...) I'm listening (...) I understand how you feel"?

That is exactly what we have to do!

I phoned them once. Woman who answered basically said Oh what a shame etc and seemed totally unbothered and in fact a bit bored. I was absolutely at the end of my tether in a terrible situation. I’d never phone them again, nor would I recommend that anyone else call them.

YABU. Good listening can be incredibly powerful. When in the depths of loneliness and fear, sometimes you just need to share your pain with another human soul.
I do think listening and reflecting back is a real skill though. There's good listening and there's bad listening. People whose inclination is to advise are often the least helpful.

I always thought that the Sams were advertised as a listening service, I didn’t think they were meant to offer any advice, they’re purely there to listen?

I mean isn’t their tag line on the website literally ‘If you need someone to talk to, we listen. We won't judge or tell you what to do.’

I’ve always found having someone to just listen to be helpful. But maybe I’m entirely wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

x

I actually find their service quite helpful and call them maybe once every 2-3 years. I just get the urge of "getting it all out". They enable me to do it and once it's done I can move on with my life. The NHS has a MH hotline (which I've used too). It's not widely publicised but it exists!

From my understanding, Samaritans is a crisis charity. They help people who are in such a state that they may kill themselves or those who feel desperate in the moment and need someone to listen.

The absolutely aren't a long term advice or help charity.

If you want advise over mental health, contact your GP, a counsellor or a mental health charity.

If you want advice over a problematic relationship, contact Relate.

Money or housing problems? Citizens Advice.

There are THOUSANDS of advice organisations and charities, with qualified staff and volunteers who can help with specific issues.

Samaritans isn't there for that. They're there to be the stable, reliable, soft, understanding ear at the end of the phone. Giving advice to vulnerable strangers who are at crisis point is very risky. All it takes is the wrong "helpful" advice, that could have devastating impacts on people. You aren't qualified. Much better to be a listening ear and use reflective skills to show you're listening.

I think maybe youve picked the wrong charity OP. That's ok if it doesn't suit you, there's plenty more you can support.

Well trained listeners can have the same kind of outcomes as trained MH professionals and better than psychotherapists.

Listening is incredibly important. I'm amazed that someone in mental health doesn't know that.

I'll be honest, I phoned a suicide line last night. Like you say it was lots of parroting and sympathetic noises. I'd have loved some real practical advice. The best thing she said was that I should go to bed and wished me goodnight.

@SirenSays I'm sorry you're in a bad place. Have you reached out to your GP? You could also visit your local A&E if you're feeling desperate in the moment. Samaritans volunteers aren't mental health professionals, they can listen but advice isn't their role.

If it's practical advice you need, could you speak to citizens advice?

I've had really kind helpful people when phoning them. And one who sounded extremely bored and disinterested - not sure if it was compassion fatigue, having a shit day or whatever but I don't think that person should have been on shift because it made things worse for me.

Email is mixed in different ways. I've had caring thoughtful emails that stopped me from sinking after a traumatic bereavement - and really shitty careless emails.

It's important that people have somewhere to turn that won't take their choices away.

I suppose you can't give advice as you're not a psychologist/ psychiatrist. If you said something and then something happened to that person, what would happen then?

Same experience here. The man on the phone even said i was no spring chicken when he asked me my age after I had been attacked! Nice! So helpful too. Needless to say, I never bothered calling them again.

inappropriate…. You’re running down a service that maybe someone’s last hope and could save their life…. When they are low they may recall a post like this and think , what’s the point.I’m just another ‘listening wheel’ … please remove this post , please

samaritans contributed to saving my life, been there for me time over.Many calls over my life, they have at times been my only safe space.

Not parroting, not robotic, empathic, kind and knew how to hold me when I was in deep crisis.

I am really angry at OP for posting such irresponsible information. Disregarding layered and comprehensive training of volunteers and years of responding to countless crises.

Samaritans is an extremely considered organisation- there can always be improvement in any organisation but it’s literally life saving.

I implore anyone to pick up that phone and speak to someone - fo not be put off by one dudes views here.

completely utterly agree. I’m enraged at the OP post actually.

I sent an email to the Samaritans once in a bad patch. I never got a reply. Now that didn't help.

I tried to get help for a colleague and there's nowhere. There was a waiting time of six weeks just to get a GP appointment and then it was another three months after that to get the first counselling session. A&E simply is not an option. It's overwhelmed. Citizens Advice is staffed mainly by retirees (like my relatives) who have no clue about mental health and no magic wand to wave to get to the front of NHS lines.

Samaritans is useless.

Feel the same and I volunteered there too