Samaritans

[XmasCheerio]

I volunteer for the Samaritans (email hub rather than phones), it’s a relatively recent thing but I’m a bit surprised at how unhelpful it all seems. We can’t give advice and have a ‘listening wheel’ to follow which structures our responses.

However, I find this makes responses quite robotic. I can see previous responses from other volunteers in an email thread and there’s a shocking amount of just parroting back the callers problems to them. If it were me reaching out to the Samaritans I’d be looking for some advice, not just repeating back what I’ve said, summarising and interrogating me with questions.

They also have a self determination policy which means if a caller is suicidal we’re not to try and talk them out of it. AIBU in thinking it could be more helpful than this?

I have called them when I was in a really bad way, and found them hugely helpful. Of course I didn't expect them to solve what was going on for me, but I felt not alone. It got me through.

I don’t know how to report a post but I really feel this is irresponsible

@XmasCheerio if you are actually a Samaritans volunteer then I suggest you take your concerns about policies and procedures to your volunteer manager. It doesn’t really help you fellow volunteers, the staff and most importantly the service users to bitch about it here.

Im sure they have their faults but they do a lot of good for many people.

If you are a journalist looking for an insider to “ dish the dirt “ then I suggest you go away. The world would be a worse place without the Samaritans and charities likes them.

I don't think it's responsible to shut down critical comments about an organization that has so much influence because you don't like what you're hearing.

You won’t find it as fulfilling if you’re only doing text or emails.

If you’re fully trained you should understand why they don’t give advice. I agree it’s unhelpful for the people that need advice, but it’s not a perfect service that will be right for everyone. You get a much better sense of being helpful on the phone

I came on to agree with the OP, but having read the replies, I can understand the service a bit more. So whilst I kind of agree with the OP, I see the other posters POVs. A very close family member rang them many many years ago....sadly they did "nothing" for him, and he went on to take his own life. But now I understand the listening part - I think people just generally misunderstand the role of the Sams

You arent there to give advice, to listen.

I had the same experience

@Antst I'm sorry you feel that way and you haven't found them helpful. It depends what help people need. In our area, our GPs can refer people with mental health issues to other services like social prescribers who help with similar issues to those citizens advice help with. They're not retirees or volunteers, they're paid workers who can try to help.

There isn't a magic bullet. I agree, waiting lists are awful, but there is help if people can wait or can pay for therapy privately.

If they can't wait, they need to tell their GP that. When you call up, you say it's an emergency, you need a same day appointment, you can't wait.

It’s not because I “don’t like what I’m hearing “ it’s because it’s irresponsible, harmful and could be managed many other ways.

I disagree with @Roseandstar about this thread being irresponsible / harmful.

When I was at my lowest and found the Samaritans useless for me, I would have quite appreciated finding a thread like this and seeing that others had had similar feelings about them. It would have at least given me some comfort that it wasn’t yet another way in which I was “wrong”.

I was going to say the same thing.

I don't know where you live but am guessing it's somewhere affluent because it doesn't sound anything like what most of the country is dealing with. I know how Citizens Advice works and no, there simply is not mental health assistance available in any practical sense. And yes, the vast majority of cases go to overwhelmed volunteers. There is no such thing as an emergency that'll get a same-day appointment. That does not exist. Waiting weeks or months for a mental health appointment following a GP referral gets very little help. When I tried to get help for my suicidal colleague, it was four hour-long appointments.

There may indeed be people who "need" to talk about problems to someone who bleats "that must be hard" but I don't think most people are in need of that kind of "help" and I don't think it's useful to be in denial about that.

Many years ago now I was doing counselling training. Your told not to give advice. What if the advice is wrong? What if something gos wrong based on the advice given? It's about showing empathy, listening and understanding.

Maybe they are now staffed by chatbots.

You don't give advice as a trained therapist either, doesn't mean it's pointless. I think it's just not for you OP and that's ok but maybe offer your time elsewhere

Do you honestly think volunteers can be trained to level to provide psychiatric support over the phone to unknown callers?

Do you think is is fair to volunteers?

It's not a MH support service.

If you have concerns take them to the charity before you air them on a public forum.

It is perfectly reasonable to check in with other people on a forum about concerns. Good grief. If the criticism is unreasonable, why are you worried about it?

@EmmaDilemma5 Thank you but my experience completely matches with everything @Antst has said.

Perhaps it is a case of postcode lottery as I work in a related sector and know for sure there are services in our area. For those not in crisis, the wait can be anywhere between 2-4 weeks but you absolutely can ask for a same day appointment at our GP surgery if you feel it's urgent.

I'm not suggesting citizens advice provide mental health support. But they provide support around debt, unemployment, benefits, housing - all things that have an impact on mental health for some people.

As you know, mental health needs are very complex and usually a mix of different social and often physical issues. It wouldn't be fair to expect a volunteer to grasp the issue in a single phone call and offer advice. It would be dangerous for all involved.

I disagree. I volunteered for them and found the listening skills I learned incredibly powerful both on shift and in the rest of my life.

they we’re just starting emails and text services when I was doing it and I’d agree they seemed less effective.

but on live phone calls the power of listening and asking questions could be incredibly cathartic for people.

sometimes I’d answer to someone so distressed they could speak and by asking questions I was able to unpack their distress for them and help them consider their options.

the ‘we don’t give advice’ thing is pretty radical. The idea is to not become an information service but also to sit with people and support them to realise THEY can call the CAB for debt advice or the police about a violent partner.

if they don’t actively make that choice it won’t stick anyway.

ive been on the phone listening to some describing their urge to kill themselves.

telling someone in that position ‘don’t do it’ is incredibly silencing and invalidating. It takes much more courage to stand alongside them and hear what’s going around and around in their mind.

having truly been heard they are more likely to then be able to respond to questions about what brought them to this moment, what alternatives their might be.

done well it’s very powerful for both caller and listener. Though I agree it’s very dependent on the empathy and skills of the volunteer

Jesus, some of you are getting your knickers in a twist! I can assure you I fully comply with all policies and apparently write lovely compassionate emails. That doesn’t mean I can’t wonder how helpful it is to the receiver and as an email volunteer I never find out because I don’t get to see their responses. It’s actually nice to see on here that people have found it helpful to be listened to.

And by giving advice I don’t mean therapy, but even asking if someone has spoken to their GP is a no no as it’s suggestive. Whilst I can see it may be cathartic to write down things, I’m not convinced the types of replies we send out would be helpful to me if I was receiving them. Horses for courses and all that.

I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be on a call. It’s hard enough to read about in an email but our responses are 24 hours after the fact so a totally different situation. I don’t think I could do calls. You have my admiration.

I too am a Samaritan. The listening wheel is just a learning tool, but the self determination policy is the thing that makes people call who otherwise wouldn’t. It’s the same with not giving advice. The last thing some of our callers want is to be told what to do. Again, it’s why a lot of people contact us, because we don’t spend time telling them what they should be doing, instead we spend time listening to them and letting them speak.

we still do emails in our Branch. There are only a small number of branches left doing emails, 30 I think, and ours is one of them. Personally, I think they are a waste of time and the only reason I ever do them is if I’m a bit tired after taking calls, and I know a lot of my fellow volunteers feel the same way. I’ve seen some fucking awful emails sent by Samaritans, and have reported a fair few.

I think, if you’re able, training to be a listening volunteer would give you a different experience. The emails are frustrating and feel pointless, but actually speaking to the callers is quite different. Yes, it’s well known on here that you get masturbated at a lot and there are a lot of time wasters, but the good calls are what makes it worthwhile and what make volunteers stick at it.

it’s an imperfect service, and being a Samaritan isn’t for everyone, but despite all its faults, and there are many, there are also many many good and dedicated volunteers who make a real difference.

People may be getting their ‘ knickers in a twist ‘ OP as they have lost loved ones to suicide and therefore feel quite strongly about it ….