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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To move up north to allow son more opportunities?

125 replies

Corpo · 24/10/2023 16:56

DS has been a child model for just up to a year now he has done 7 jobs within the year. He could have had many more but I have declined a few due to me being wary about his attendance.

School have flat out refused every single one but due to his attendance being over the percentage they couldn’t stop it. They have now put a stop to all his photoshoots as his attendance has dropped under the percentage and they won’t be allowing anymore.

DS absolutely loves his modelling it’s the one thing he loves he lives and breathes it. He loves football too but seeing how well he works on set and when the photos go out he is so proud of himself and of course him seeing his money grow and all the plans he has for it when he’s 18.

A lot of the shoots are in Manchester which is a 2 hour drive for us. So he having to take full days instead of 2 hours if we lived in Manchester.

I completely understand the school but it’s upsetting how much control they actually have over us and they are stopping DS doing something he loves.

What would you do if you was in this position? I know a lot of parents don’t agree with it. But I now feel as I’m letting my son down if I don’t try my best for him.

OP posts:

cansu · 24/10/2023 16:59

You need to give your head a wobble. You should be worried that you are taking him out of school and are impacting on his progress. You should stop looking at the photos and the money and get a grip. I am not surprised the school are taking control. You seem to have lost your head.

DelphiniumBlue · 24/10/2023 17:02

I was thinking the other day, I wish we'd moved up north when the children were younger, not for the reasons you mention, but to give them more opportunities. We've always lived in London, but now I realise that we could have afforded so much more in terms of holidays and activities if we hadn't been paying for a London mortgage all those years, with no spare money at all.
We'd have been at least 500 pounds a month better off, but didn't want o move for a variety of reasons.
I say go for it!

usernother · 24/10/2023 17:03

With regards to his attendance the school can't stop you taking him out. But be prepared to be fined. With regard to the modelling I'd be worried about how much education he's missing.

GreenWheat · 24/10/2023 17:03

How old is he? If he's little, then limit it to weekend and holiday shoots.

LIZS · 24/10/2023 17:04

There are thirteen weeks of school holidays, granted it might mean turning term-time jobs down but if he is that sought after it should be fine. If he needs a LA license his time is legally restricted anyway. Having said that moving seems drastic for an industry so fickle. How old is he now, his looks may change as he develops or demand wane, He may yet need his education to fall back on.

Original poster

Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:05

The money isn’t for me it’s for DS I want to give him the best opportunities I can give him. I had a hard start to life and It’s truly because my parents didn’t push me enough or open many doors for me.

I have to tell him now that the can no longer do what he loves unless we get the odd one in the school holidays.

OP posts:

tiredofbeingadmired · 24/10/2023 17:08

But are you assuming that schools in Manchester will be ok with him missing school? Or do you just mean he'll miss less because of not having to travel?

Either way - I would prioritise pretty much everything over modelling. School, family, exercise, interests.

If he loves modelling he can do it when he's older no?

Dramatic · 24/10/2023 17:09

How old is he?

GreenWheat · 24/10/2023 17:09

Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:05

I have to tell him now that the can no longer do what he loves unless we get the odd one in the school holidays.

The best opportunity you can give is access to education and support for that at home. But it does rather depend on his age. If he's older and you can see that he probably won't want to be in an academic setting beyond 16, it's very different to if he's six and you don't yet know how he will develop.

TiredMamOfTwo · 24/10/2023 17:10

Modelling over education? Seriously?

What's going to give him more opportunities later on in life?

00100001 · 24/10/2023 17:10

What kind of madness is it that a parent thinks a child working is more important than their education?

00100001 · 24/10/2023 17:11

Does he love it, because he "loves modelling". Or does he like having time off school to have a bit of fun?

Original poster

Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:12

00100001 · 24/10/2023 17:10

What kind of madness is it that a parent thinks a child working is more important than their education?

And when on earth did I say that?

OP posts:

gotomomo · 24/10/2023 17:12

You don't give his age but school is more important than earning money, he's a child! Unless you full time homeschool him around the work, he'll be missing part of the curriculum each time you take him out.

My DD's are musicians and were allowed 5 days a year by agreement and no clashing with key dates like exams.

Mrsjayy · 24/10/2023 17:12

Do modeling agencies encourage children out of school? Anyway if he loves it and you can manage it them move closer the agency sounds unethical and should be encouraging education and doing kids at weekends and holidays.

Original poster

Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:12

Sorry he is 7.

OP posts:

Vettrianofan · 24/10/2023 17:13

Definitely. There are loads of great opportunities in Scotland.

FannyBawz · 24/10/2023 17:13

What would I do? Raise my kids to think about more than their looks for a start.

long term he will probably earn more if he’s educated. You know that.

Greydogs123 · 24/10/2023 17:13

Why not home educate? You’d be able to do whatever you want , as long as you truly ensure your son continues to learn and you do not stunt his other opportunities outside of modelling.

Vettrianofan · 24/10/2023 17:14

00100001 · 24/10/2023 17:10

What kind of madness is it that a parent thinks a child working is more important than their education?

Like Ryan's World you mean?

MiddleagedBeachbum · 24/10/2023 17:14

I’d home educate and move oop north

RestingPlace · 24/10/2023 17:14

I completely understand the school but it’s upsetting how much control they actually have over us and they are stopping DS doing something he loves

This has to be a joke, right?

If it isn't, OP, and this is really and truly the one thing your child loves, then I'd be reconsidering it, regardless of the school's position.

(Anyway, unless your Manchester shoots are guaranteed to happen out of school hours, aren't you just going to run in to the same issue? Pesky schools and their interest in your child's education, huh?)

RestingPlace · 24/10/2023 17:15

Greydogs123 · 24/10/2023 17:13

Why not home educate? You’d be able to do whatever you want , as long as you truly ensure your son continues to learn and you do not stunt his other opportunities outside of modelling.

The kind of parent who would write the post the OP did is really not the kind of person I would think should have sole charge of a child's education.

DisquietintheRanks · 24/10/2023 17:16

The school will have no power over you if you home educate @Corpo

Fionaville · 24/10/2023 17:17

I'd move up north and home educate. But that's just because I love being up north and home educating.

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