To move up north to allow son more opportunities?

[Corpo]

DS has been a child model for just up to a year now he has done 7 jobs within the year. He could have had many more but I have declined a few due to me being wary about his attendance.

School have flat out refused every single one but due to his attendance being over the percentage they couldn’t stop it. They have now put a stop to all his photoshoots as his attendance has dropped under the percentage and they won’t be allowing anymore.

DS absolutely loves his modelling it’s the one thing he loves he lives and breathes it. He loves football too but seeing how well he works on set and when the photos go out he is so proud of himself and of course him seeing his money grow and all the plans he has for it when he’s 18.

A lot of the shoots are in Manchester which is a 2 hour drive for us. So he having to take full days instead of 2 hours if we lived in Manchester.

I completely understand the school but it’s upsetting how much control they actually have over us and they are stopping DS doing something he loves.

What would you do if you was in this position? I know a lot of parents don’t agree with it. But I now feel as I’m letting my son down if I don’t try my best for him.

This has to be one of the most ridiculous posts I've ever seen on here. Where dies the father come into this ?

This is a tough one without a black and white answer but here are a few thoughts.

• People are being disproportionately dramatic. He’s 7 learning to write joined up not 17 sitting his Alevels. As long as he’s a ‘bright ish’ kid and you make an effort to catch him up it will be FINE! I worked as a child model/actor at the same age and was still always a high academic achiever.

— Modelling can be extremely fickle. Moving house is a very big step. What happens if he hits a growth spurt or his ‘look’ no longer fits trend and 6 month after you move he’s out of work?
— What happens if it takes off? If you up end your lives for his ‘chance’ will you then feel bound to throwing yourselves at it 100%. Would you be willing to home school in that situation.

The biggest jobs by far are in London. Manchester does have a lot going on don’t get me wrong but you’ll still be asked to go to London constantly if he really is going to be successful. Might be better considering somewhere between London/Manchester and looking into homeschooling for a year or two if this is what you really want to do xx

Interesting that you say that school was the best years of your life. Most educated adults would say Uni or their career highlights.

Moving north for opportunities is great. But you do need to make sure those opportunities include getting your child the best possible education.

Move for better schools, not a possibility that's pretty clutch-at-straws. Have you told him how important his schooling is? He can always model at weekends and holidays, especially as a move also means he'll lose his current friends and a new school will have the same rules. There are zero guarantees with modelling either - I had a coffee with a friend's son at the weekend. Two years ago he was being flown first class to Japan for modelling jobs but his look is over now and he is currently a barista. Luckily, his parents always told him that this would happen so he's mellow about it.

As a parent you have delegated responsibility for providing a suitable education for your child to the school. They can't educate him if he's not there. You are being unfair to them by not sending him. For children, education is more important than work.

Like people have said, you can always take charge of his education yourself and fit it around the modelling by home educating your son. You, not school, are then in charge of providing a suitable education.

I hope this is a joke. He needs to be in school. All schools will say that, wherever in the UK. Looks are not guaranteed and do not last, I’d really worry how DS could become very vain and narcissistic

At such a young age, this kind of hobby has not been initiated by the child, it’s what the parent wants . It’s also extremely unlikely to lead to a career into adulthood, so your child will need a good education. I have a friend with a child who does this sort of thing but she would never let her dc miss school to accommodate it.

Ultimately it’s your decision to make and face the consequences of either choice being both right and wrong. Either way make sure whatever you choose to do you’re doing it for the right reasons ie for him, not you.

OP where do you ACTUALLY live currently?
A 2 hour drive from Manchester is that really in 'the South'? You don't live in London that's for certain

I have Name changed as do not want this following me about. Both myself and my sister did some modelling, this is as teens so we were older. My sister has an eating disorder and I have disordered eating though I’m aware so not quite as serious as my sister. My Mum pushed us in to this, she had also been a model and on stage and was relatively successful. I had to sign a contract regarding my weight and not being allowed to cut my hair without approval.

My DS is really good looking and exceptionally tall people, said he should model when he was little but no way would I put a child through what we went through. My Mum pushed me, I’m actually quite a shy person and it’s left me with a level of anxiety. It also made me think that was all I was worth and getting in to middle age was really tough for me. Don’t do this to your child.

@Thehonestbadger your last sentence exactly!
While Manchester has lots going on its certainly not on the same scale as London. If I was looking to move anywhere for this it would be the latter.
Unless of course OP cannot actually afford to do so.
But if she was near London now why would she be taking her son modelling in Manchester instead of London?

My DS is rising 7.

I would prioritise pretty much everything over modelling. School, family, exercise, interests.

This.

Being a child model at 7 doesn't mean he can do this forever. He's cute now but in a few years he may not be and but that time you have uprooted you both.

He 'loves' it. He's 7 FFS.

YABU.

Does he have any hobbies?

How much has he managed to save so far?

YANBU

In your position, I would move to Manchester, but I'd speak with the schools you're considering first about getting 2hours off and be up front with the expected frequency. About 7-10 times a year with 2hrs each isn't a big deal in my opinion (former teacher).

However, if it was to really take off and be much more frequent, I would do what I do (my child is in a competitive sport which requires hours of daily training and a few days a month away at competitions), and home educate. That way, you can prioritise things as you see fit and fit education around your plans. Home education gives you flexibility and freedom, something you won't get using the school system.

My 7 yr old loves her competitive sport and is bloody talented at it. A 7 yr old is very capable of knowing what they love and don't love.

I have a close friend who’s dd’s do, modeling and voice work.
Of course try and book for the least amount of time away, do schoolwork while traveling.
the minute you move though, you might find increased oppertunities in another city.

Home educated children also make friends and develop long lasting relationships! There are huge home educating communities all around the UK. My home educated children have more friends than I do!! And in my experience, home educated children are just wonderful, all of their friends are kind, respectful and confident children who can hold intelligent conversations with adults and children of all ages. There is no being stuck only with children of the same age, as they would in a classroom. Please do at least look into home education as you will very likely have lots of myths dispelled once you learn about it.

He plays football too which he loves but if you ask him which one he prefers he says modelling 😭 he can mess around all morning but soon as he gets on set he takes it all so seriously.

Saved just under 7k so far

Personally I wouldn’t move for his modelling jobs. Can he pay to attend private school? More flexibility and sport

I work with children who are models, actors, musicians and athletes. What opportunities do you think he is gaining from this work?

Show biz can be harmful for kids. Of course he loves it, he's getting complimented, getting attention. People think he's cute. No one's cares about that when he's older - It's not a real skill. It's also teaching him his main value is his looks which can also be harmful.

It might be enjoyable now, but long term he's missing out on education. I used to work with Cory haim's mom. She would talk about the charisma he had. Again, people only care so much about charisma - now he's dead after not transitioning from child stardom.

You could try to get your son into musical theatre if he likes the spotlight.

my daughters are adults now, but when they were at primary school a few of their peers took time off for modelling. None of
then did it beyond primary school. They found it a bit cringe when they got
older and they also changed in their appearance too: teeth/hair etc. Kids personalities and appearance alter dramatically as they get older and a tiny tiny percentage of child models make
it as adult models. And most of
the really successful ones are female and discovered in their teens/young adulthood.

So you think slipping school is the best opportunity for him erm nope eventually modelling will fade what you Gona do when he's 18 has money and no education and no job as it fazes out as they move in to other models hmmmm totally wrong way around