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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move up north to allow son more opportunities?

125 replies

Corpo · 24/10/2023 16:56

DS has been a child model for just up to a year now he has done 7 jobs within the year. He could have had many more but I have declined a few due to me being wary about his attendance.

School have flat out refused every single one but due to his attendance being over the percentage they couldn’t stop it. They have now put a stop to all his photoshoots as his attendance has dropped under the percentage and they won’t be allowing anymore.

DS absolutely loves his modelling it’s the one thing he loves he lives and breathes it. He loves football too but seeing how well he works on set and when the photos go out he is so proud of himself and of course him seeing his money grow and all the plans he has for it when he’s 18.

A lot of the shoots are in Manchester which is a 2 hour drive for us. So he having to take full days instead of 2 hours if we lived in Manchester.

I completely understand the school but it’s upsetting how much control they actually have over us and they are stopping DS doing something he loves.

What would you do if you was in this position? I know a lot of parents don’t agree with it. But I now feel as I’m letting my son down if I don’t try my best for him.

OP posts:
EmptyYoghurtPot · 24/10/2023 17:17

Could you home school him for a year and see how things go? If he’s 7 then he’ll be changing looks wise in the next couple of years anyway. Is it just the two of you?

UndercoverCop · 24/10/2023 17:20

You're saying this is his opportunity, an education provides opportunity.
So he's a cute kid, doesn't mean he's got a long term career in modelling, looks are unlikely to provide him with a stable livelihood. He needs an education. The school are not being unreasonable. Of course he loves modelling, he's seven, he gets out of school goes on a trip with his mum, messes about in front of a camera gets told he's great/special etc and gets money for it.

cocksstrideintheevening · 24/10/2023 17:23

A proper education would give hime opportunities op.

FriedasCarLoad · 24/10/2023 17:24

Have you considered home educating?

Lifeinlists · 24/10/2023 17:26

DisquietintheRanks · 24/10/2023 17:16

The school will have no power over you if you home educate @Corpo

No and she wouldn't be obliged to educate him either. Very little, if any, scrutiny means his modelling career will be fine. His education not so much.

sweetpeaorchestra · 24/10/2023 17:27

I think Manchester is a great place to live (though dependent on area obviously).
If it enables him to do more shoots without the travel, and you’re not losing a support network or anything then why not?
That said if he’s regularly missing school I’d be weary. At 7, I wouldn’t put all your eggs in the modelling basket so to speak at the expense of his education.
If he has a good agent and you’re closer to the opportunities, is there more negotiation room for only accepting shoots outside of school hours (bar the odd high profile exception)?

SchoolQuestionnaire · 24/10/2023 17:31

Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:12

Sorry he is 7.

DS absolutely loves his modelling it’s the one thing he loves he lives and breathes it.

At 7 years old there is not a chance this is true. My 7 year old lived and breathed unicorns but I wouldn’t sacrifice her education for them. I’m sorry but this is about you and your wants. Not your dc,

LIZS · 24/10/2023 17:33

Even the most photogenic 7 year old may develop into a less commercial looking preteen and youth. What happens then?

UpaladderwatchingTV · 24/10/2023 17:35

I can't help wondering if it's the boy or the mother who 'loves' the modelling, particularly after what the OP says about her own parents not pushing her enough! Maybe the bragging rights mean more than the son's education?

Original poster
Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:36

Have thought about home schooling but then he is missing out on making friends and long lasting relationships and school was the best years of my life! So wouldn’t want to take that away from him I just want him to be able to do both.

I think we will most likely make the move.

OP posts:
Laurdo · 24/10/2023 17:38

Do you have other children?

00100001 · 24/10/2023 17:39

Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:12

And when on earth did I say that?

Show quote history

Because you're already taking him out of education to work and are considering taking him out even more to work AND uprooting him so he can be closer to work...

So you're message is your priority is him working, not being in school....

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 24/10/2023 17:39

There are very good reasons why school are concerned about how much he is missing. Be a responsible parent and find a proper balance. His education is what will give him choices and opportunities in life. Don't pigeonhole him at 7 years old or you are closing doors.

00100001 · 24/10/2023 17:40

Vettrianofan · 24/10/2023 17:14

Like Ryan's World you mean?

Show quote history

Blatant child abuse.

LodiDodi · 24/10/2023 17:40

Child modelling isn't really a long term thing though. The majority of child models do not go on to model once grown up, at best you are earning him a bit of pocket money for his 18th birthday, at the expense of his education.

xyz111 · 24/10/2023 17:41

Laurdo · 24/10/2023 17:38

Do you have other children?

This is an excellent question!!

Laurdo · 24/10/2023 17:43

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 24/10/2023 17:39

There are very good reasons why school are concerned about how much he is missing. Be a responsible parent and find a proper balance. His education is what will give him choices and opportunities in life. Don't pigeonhole him at 7 years old or you are closing doors.

Exactly. Plus kids that age get bored of things quickly. And like others have said, looks can fade and change but a good education will last you a lifetime.

Tarantella6 · 24/10/2023 17:43

School can't actually stop you. There isn't someone who will come to your house and physically take your son to school. You just don't have permission, it's not the same as being under house arrest.

Education vs modelling is your call to make.

BHRK · 24/10/2023 17:45

You’d move him up north because he’s a model aged 7? This can’t be serious.
I think you’re behaving really irresponsibly actually.. not caring about him missing school, moving him.
he’s unlikely to be a model when he’s older FFS

Fionaville · 24/10/2023 17:45

Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:36

Have thought about home schooling but then he is missing out on making friends and long lasting relationships and school was the best years of my life! So wouldn’t want to take that away from him I just want him to be able to do both.

I think we will most likely make the move.

I'm not going to promote the benefits of home education. I just want to say that it's one of the biggest myths that home ed kids don't make friends and have long lasting relationships. You do you. Schools up north still have the same attendance policies though, so they won't accept modelling as a reason for missing school.

newnamethanks · 24/10/2023 17:45

He's missing school at 7 years old? Are there any grown ups in your house? It's not on and you know it.

Hankunamatata · 24/10/2023 17:46

'Pushing and opening doors'
Crikey, living through your child much

dunroamingfornow · 24/10/2023 17:47

Gosh looks can change so much post 7. I know a boy who was a baby and child model but is no longer in much demand. His face changed as he grew up and he stopped getting work. I always worry how that must make him feel? It's a very fickle industry. Have you checked out schools in Manchester? A lot are over subscribed so you may struggle to find a good one. Is your job mobile ?

LIZS · 24/10/2023 17:49

Corpo · 24/10/2023 17:36

Have thought about home schooling but then he is missing out on making friends and long lasting relationships and school was the best years of my life! So wouldn’t want to take that away from him I just want him to be able to do both.

I think we will most likely make the move.

He won't make friends at school when he is absent so often.

MermaidEyes · 24/10/2023 17:52

when the photos go out he is so proud of himself and of course him seeing his money grow and all the plans he has for it when he’s 18.

I call bullshit. No 7 year old has plans for being 18. At 7 they can barely think beyond what's happening that day, never mind in 11 years time.