To think this is the most stupid advice anyone's ever given in the history of giving advice

[IncompleteSenten]

Or am I being a twat?

Yanbu - wtf kind of dumb advice is that?

Yabu - it's good advice, get off your arse and try it.

What do you expect him to do?

He has tried to empathise with you and you come on here and post his message

You need serious professional help unless I've missed that he's a medical professional.

A PP has told ypu how a bit of exercise made them feel better.
For me, is a cup of tea or coffee, maybe with a treat. I just sit there, hold a warm cup, enjoy the smell and the taste. I try to empty my mind of whatever is racing through it.
It is not as bonkers as you think.
When everything is going wrong, grab something you can control and do easily, to get your mind steady and stop racing.
It may not work for you, though....

Exactly this.

@IncompleteSenten everything is different when it's someone you love. In his professional life he's detached.

OP, you're not wasting our time by posting here. Posters are choosing to read and respond.

If you want to drop off the thread for other reasons then of course you should, but do it for yourself not for MN readers.

It seems poorly stated but well intentioned.

exercise can help with mental state. It’s not a cure, but a bit of adrenaline and dopamine to interrupt your spiral can be a healthy way of dealing with a mild crisis.

If you are with the children and unable to go out for a good walk or go to the gym, walking the stairs is actually a pretty good idea for a quick burst of exercise if you don’t happen to own a treadmill or other equipment.

the best thing would be to come home and take over so you can take care of yourself. Im guessing there are practical constraints and that is why you didn’t just ask for that.

Was.. that an attempt to make you laugh?

Ihope you start feeling better soon OP 💐

I think he's worded it badly but he means well.

Nothing he says will help, he's probably feeling completely lost, concerned and helpless. It's not the worst suggestion in the world to be honest, even if worded clumsily. Exercise and changing your physical state can be a useful tool.....putting an ice cube on your skin or listening to really loud music can sometimes be a temporary distraction too.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I really feel for your husband. It's terrible for both of you. I would reach out to your MH team and try to get some more support.

It's not easy watching someone you love suffer from depression. One can feel very helpless and inadequate. I have dealt with this in one of my children over the past 3 to 4 years. She knows that exercise (and other strategies) help her but in a depressive mood often won't engage. That doesn't stop me suggesting things like going for a walk and sometimes coaxing her to do things, however small, to shake the mood a bit. It can work. In the past she has got angry at times, so I've had to withdraw but now she's older, she tends to respond more reasonably (also now on medication) and I've also learnt not to push things too far. It's not as if there is a magic switch.

I think OP's DH meant well, though it was stated rather clumsily and no, I don't think it was the worst advice ever.

I posted YANBU
but
wondering if your friend is suggesting getting some exercise, oxygen etc. Can be good for mental health

Sounds like he's thinking of the advice to get up and excercise to aid depression

Does he use the dictate function? I recently used it to message someone and sent without checking. They responded to me with a ??? The microphone had picked up a conversation between a couple of people at the next cafe table: they were talking about a new car purchase and when I paused for a breath it added phrases including 'automatic cruise control' and 'combined petrol hybrid' to the message.

Any chance he dictated the first bit and then, while he was looking for the emoji, someone said something to him to add the final line, or he said something about going up the stairs to a colleague?

@IncompleteSenten I think every time you mention it he should say you need to speak to a professional about it. You can change teams BTW if you've had the nightmare of a bad team.

I'm reluctant because last time the crisis team got involved and they were so overwhelming and I thought they would force me into hospital

Places are so limited it's unlikely they'd do that unless you really needed it OP. You can also be a voluntary (well, they call it 'informal' now I think) patient, so no one could easily section you or anything like that.

But it doesn't sound like you need to be in hospital at the moment. x But you maybe need a medication review and to try something different, or a different dose? No harm in trying.

I assume its meant in the context if you wanting to lock yourself away in your bedroom?

If its anxiety that's causing that, could he mean something along the lines if, if you can't face going out of the house can you face walking up and down the stairs?

Someone mentioned the Samaritans, their advice can be like this too - if you are distressed or feel things are closing in, do something immediately to distract yourself like a quiz, a puzzle, a brisk walk outside, breathing exercises, some exercises, etc etc. It's a bit trite but I suppose your dh has read it somewhere.

You're struggling badly so first off, go easy on yourself. I feel your pain re your fear of a hospital admission, i spent time in a unit myself and it was shite. Albeit with surprisingly nice food! But, sometimes it's needed. So don't discount the possibilty completely if you continue to feel like you do. And do the stairs, and then feel good that you did them. I really hope you start to feel better soon x

I don't think it's bad advice.

What's the emoji for?

If it keeps happening perhaps they are struggling to know what to say

No it's not stupid advice and whilst I have every sympathy with you thinking like that has made me feel.sorry for your husband, he will have been in this position many times before and nothing he can say will help you. You need professional help, be that medication, therapy or both. It's not fair to expect him to know what to say to you.

@IncompleteSenten Are you on any meds? If you haven't got on with some, there are quite a lot of different ones they can try. Same goes for different types of therapy.

I feel just like you at the moment. My husband too doesn't have a clue what to do when I'm like this

Exercise is known to help with mental health although I think it takes weeks/months of sustained effort and not just a quick up and down the stairs. So maybe he was trying to give you something very simple and undemanding to fill your mind with rather than the negative thoughts you were having? I know it's not great but he could be well intentioned. I know when I need to "come down" (I have ASD) it's good for me to perform a simple repetitive task such as peeling potatoes, the more boring the better. He maybe misjudged it but I'd cut him some slack.

I too am having those thoughts and feelings for the first time in my life.
It took a lot of courage for me to confide in someone, but I received a similar response.

Exercise helps depression, so I’d say his heart was in the right place. Sorry you are feeling like this, hope you get some help.