What is this new form of slobdom?

[Theokaycokey]

Staying at a seaside resort in the UK. Large Hotel has a massive open atrium that is overlooked by hotel rooms and anyone walking along the promenade. The hotel restaurant is located smack bang in the middle of the atrium and is open to the reception area. I come down to breakfast this morning and a significant number of guests are sat in their pyjamas having their breakfast! Different families, all scattered around the restaurant or queuing at the breakfast buffet in their nightwear and fluffy slippers. This is the first time that I have come across this. Is it a relatively recent phenomenon?

Or people could stop judging others by things that really don't matter

And this thread has got to the point people are being called disgusting for wearing their PJs in their OWN HOME

Whether it's a disgusting attitude is neither here nor there. The fact is that an awful lot of people do have this attitude and judge accordingly. And if these same people also get to decide where these other people live, work, go to school etc, then the determind scruffies are very successfully self sabotaging.

I'll put a hoodie on over a pyjama top whilst eating breakfast with guests or as a guest sure, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with long pyjama bottoms. Honestly, this site is often what I imagine the internet would look like if you travelled back in time and had Victorians post on forums.

Or people could stop judging others by things that really don't matter

But they DO matter to an awful lot of people as evidenced by this thread. And, you don't get to decide that it shouldn't matter to other people.

I'm not bothered by this. As my username suggests I'm a slob and live in my dressing gown. I even put the recycling bin from the kitchen into the outside bin in my dressing gown. I don't care.

No one who has decided whether I get a job has asked about when I change out of my PJs...

And no one gets to decide who lives where and who goes to school where. Not at the moment anyway. There are some deeper issues going on if you think that society is going that way

These people are self selecting themselves into a scruffy underclass

Omg this is beyond belief... sometimes I even answer the door in my night clothes 😳

Wind your neck in luv
And take the poker out of your backside

Can't decide what should matter to others but you can tell others what to wear. OK then 🤣

You’re right, but this poster was referring to people eating breakfast in their own home! Presumably if it actually makes you gag to see people eating breakfast in their pyjamas, there are a number of situations where you will struggle 🤷‍♀️

Tight trousers and lycra hold everything in. Loose pyjamas made out of thin cotton allow things to, er, bounce around.

I presume you also look disapprovingly on women who don't wear bras in public? And preferably also a Siberian-style duffel coat six sizes too big, just to make sure nobody can tell that they have standard human body shapes?!

My response to people who find the sight of others (even in their own homes!) wearing pyjamas renders them unable to eat without gagging would be the same as to those people who cannot ever go for a poo in a locked public/work toilet cubicle - and/or judge others who do.

The issue is with you; you are the one who needs to seek help to learn to deal with this - the answer is not that other people must stop behaving normally.

And no one gets to decide who lives where and who goes to school where. Not at the moment anyway. There are some deeper issues going on if you think that society is going that way

Of course people get to decide where other people live. It happens all the time. Every day. Local authorities, housing authorities, private landlords, tenancy associations. I happen to be a private landlord. If a family turned up to view one of my properties and they look scruffy and down at heel (who knows, maybe wearing PJ bottoms) there's not a chance I will rent to them. Especially when there's a dozen other hopefuls, all looking spruce and like they've actually made an effort.

I’d never promote anyone who joined a work call in anything less than business casual. Just wouldn’t. If you don’t have any self respect why should I respect you. Simple.

It depends what you think is normal though. My family would never eat breakfast in PJs. Its not the way I was brought up.

Yes, this exactly. Before I pretty much retired, I would never look to promote anyone who dressed scruffily for work. And neither would I recruit anyone dressed scruffily for an interview. Not when I had a surplus of equally hard working, but smartly dressed people to choose from. Looking unkempt, not dressing appropriately for work, slightly poor personal hygiene are all huge negatives for me. To me, they indicate a lack of energy, a lack of self motivation, a lack of intention to detail, an inability 'to read the room' etc.

It doesn't actually matter if that makes me wrong or a bad person. Because, at the end of the day, I was still the senior person deciding who got the promotion, or the job. And, I'm now the person deciding who gets to rent one of my properties.

How we judge and what we judge is an interesting subject. Because I don't wear PJs at all except at others houses, I thought many others didn't and used PJs as lounge wear, not something they actually slept in. Out of curiosity, I started another thread about that and somebody made the point about things never worn in public/worn only for specific things that are commonly seen now.
There was a time when you would have been judged terribly for wearing trousers as a woman in the office, however smart they were. People saw it as a not dissimilar drop in standards.
Some people thought denim jeans were 'common' and judged people for that. Now people wear them to high powered business meetings.
There will always be something. Next week, next year, in 10 years, it will be something else. Would I wear PJs at a hotel or even a friend's house? No, but I am sure the fact that I never wear make up despite being nearly 50 and not remotely good looking is probably considered by some as 'slovenly', so maybe I am not in a position to judge.

"I'm a private landlord" says it all

People can have plenty of self respect without dressing up constantly

Polo shirts would never be considered smart, unless you were going for the "posh boy" look. They were workman wear

Now they are standard uniform in many places.

Shorts were reserved for athletes and young boys once, now smart chino Shorts are considered acceptable

Women couldn't show their shoulders

Tattoos and piercing were forbid

The list goes on

GreenAppleCrumble
You know people sometimes don’t wear underwear with regular clothes, yes? I think you’re on the wind-up. No one could seriously be this delicate!

One does occasionally hear of such outrages. But that's OK, because presumably the clothing will be opaque/substantial/supportive etc to er...keep things under control and out of sight. I know from personal experience in my own home that things can fall out or jiggle around unpleasantly in night-wear.

I can assure you that I AM this delicate! And so are many people I know who are not Health Care Professionals, and even they might be a bit upset to see a wobbling willie or bobbing buzzies in the hotel dining room, or in the supermarket. But each to their own!

The bottom line is: weird though it may sound, I don't want to see or even be aware of the genitals of strangers (or even friends and family, mostly) and when people are dressed, these things stay out of sight and out of mind. 😂

We were in the Mandarin Oriental in a very well to do Asian country pre covid and a number of guests came down in pyjamas. Shorts and tops all looked as if they’d be slept in! I think it’s really poor.

MargotBamborough
I...just don't want to be able to see some random guy's cock when I'm trying to eat my breakfast.

Surely I'm not that unusual in feeling this way?

Margot - you are most certainly not alone. I, for one, totally agree with you and the last time I looked at the vote, so do over 82% of people on this thread!

MrsDaniFirth
Plus. All i can say - money talks. Oh it does. i earn 6 figures - and drive a bmw - and i wear pjs to tescos. So when i rock up anywhere - they accept it. Cos im paying. And I also do not care for others opinions.

I would agree with you on this, MrsDan, but I think that it's precisely BECAUSE you are a very high earner and drive a smart motor that you have the confidence and the 'F... everybody else' attitude. I guess the reason you are in this category may be because of that level of self-confidence, assurance and lack of concern for what anyone thinks. Your words make me think of the aristocrats of the ancien regime!

But back in the real world, most of us do care for others' opinions and don't feel comfortable making others uncomfortable. That's not a bad thing - and quite honestly the world could do with a bit more humility, consideration, courtesy and thoughtfulness.

People can have plenty of self respect without dressing up constantly

How low must the bar be, to think that not wearing PJs in public constitutes as 'dressing up.'

Says what, exactly? I keep my rental properties looking smart, in excellent repair and provide a really good service to my tenants. If a prospective tenant can't even be bothered about their own appearance, how can I possibly think they'll be bothered about maintaining the appearance of my rental property. These people simply self select themselves straight into the 'rejected rental application' folder.