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AIBU?

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Original poster

To take DS on holiday during work experience week

217 replies

Flufty191 · 23/10/2023 20:30

DS is year 10. We live in a small town. He's due to do work experience next summer. He/we have contacted every company in the local area and have either had no response, been told they don't offer work experience or the work experience places are already taken.

His options now are a charity shop or the school canteen (the canteen is the schools only help if you're unable to secure your child a place somewhere).

He's already doing voluntary work for his DofE.

Would I be unreasonable to book a family holiday abroad for a week instead?

Yanbu-book it
Yabu-he should do the work experience.

OP posts:
margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:05

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 16:03

Again, was that comment really necessary or relevant, or even remotely informed or accurate?

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Does it have to be? Can't I just make a comment for the sake of it?

Jeez Louise. Chill out.

Original poster
Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 16:05

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 16:00

Doing what a school asks of a pupil/parent does not mean someone is 'a stickler for 'the rules'' or 'just blindly follow orders'. It means they understand that this is something that deserves effort, at both a personal and school level. Saying 'life is too short' isn't an excuse to get out of everything we just don't fancy doing.

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Have you ever had a 'fuck it' moment in life though? My lovely dad's got cancer, as has my MIL. It does put things in perspective and make you realise that it's OK to not do everything by the book all the time. I dont think this does deserve effort, not in a personal or a school level. Not this time.

OP posts:
margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:06

Poppydieu · 24/10/2023 16:03

It doesn’t deserve effort if OP’s ds is already doing volunteering.
It’s often some frazzled staff member with a bored teenager under their feet all week.

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Exactly! This place is bonkers sometimes, honestly.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 16:06

Poppydieu · 24/10/2023 16:03

It doesn’t deserve effort if OP’s ds is already doing volunteering.
It’s often some frazzled staff member with a bored teenager under their feet all week.

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I disagree that he shouldn't be making effort in this situation.

NancyJoan · 24/10/2023 16:06

I remember a friend’s daughter finding a course that was relevant to her future plans that she did during the summer hols instead of the work exp week. Might that be an option?

margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:06

Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 16:05

Have you ever had a 'fuck it' moment in life though? My lovely dad's got cancer, as has my MIL. It does put things in perspective and make you realise that it's OK to not do everything by the book all the time. I dont think this does deserve effort, not in a personal or a school level. Not this time.

Show quote history

You're fine, OP.

Go on the holiday. As you say, life is too bloody short to always follow "the rules".

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 16:08

margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:05

Does it have to be? Can't I just make a comment for the sake of it?

Jeez Louise. Chill out.

Show quote history

Again, was that comment really necessary or relevant, or even remotely informed or accurate?

None of this is strengthening your 'argument', but crack on with more comments 'for the sake of it'.

margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:10

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 16:11

margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:06

You're fine, OP.

Go on the holiday. As you say, life is too bloody short to always follow "the rules".

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It is isn't it and the thing is, I know my son, I know our family work ethic. He's seen it every day since he was born. We're grafters. He knows what's coming.

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 24/10/2023 16:12

UpaladderwatchingTV · 23/10/2023 21:14

Could you maybe encourage your child to plan and book the holiday OP, obviously with your approval and final say? This at least would be a learning opportunity. You could get him to act as a holiday rep as it were, getting him to look into the things you could do, while you were away, costing them, arranging transport, that sort of idea. If you're planning on going abroad, get him to choose something that he thinks you as a family would like, ie, not just what HE would like, and get him to justify why he's chosen it. Tell him you expect him to treat you like strangers, ie, asking lots of questions about what you want from a holiday. Look at flight times, make plans of how to get to and from the airport at both ends. Just a thought, but at least it would give him some experience, if he were to have to make phone calls to find out information, that would be good for his confidence of dealing with people, or if not that, he could go forward to check in at the hotel, asking any necessary questions, look at booking travel insurance, etc.

Excellent suggestion. Tell school his work placement is as a travel guide. He’ll learn a lot more than he would in the school canteen.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 16:12

Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 16:05

Have you ever had a 'fuck it' moment in life though? My lovely dad's got cancer, as has my MIL. It does put things in perspective and make you realise that it's OK to not do everything by the book all the time. I dont think this does deserve effort, not in a personal or a school level. Not this time.

Show quote history

I am very sorry to hear about your relatives, and hope they are able to get treatment/recover. That must be hard on all of you.

Regarding the actual issue of the topic, I'd personally still hope he could find something, for reasons already outlined. I am not saying everyone has to do this, but you did ask for opinions so.......

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 16:14

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Right, but you care enough to keep commenting on how you think I should live my life - it isn't relevant and just looks petty.

margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:16

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charlotte361 · 24/10/2023 16:18

Retail and hospitality is pointless because it is pretty easy to get paid work in it.
If he has got some more suitable WEx in the school holidays then I can't see any downside.
What is he going to be doing?

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 16:22

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Look back, you started with personal insults, and each time I reponded with the same necessary reply.

No amount of telling me you don't care undoes whst you've already expressed.

Let's move on.

Babybjorn · 24/10/2023 16:23

Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 16:05

Have you ever had a 'fuck it' moment in life though? My lovely dad's got cancer, as has my MIL. It does put things in perspective and make you realise that it's OK to not do everything by the book all the time. I dont think this does deserve effort, not in a personal or a school level. Not this time.

Show quote history

It sounds like your mind is made OP and like you’ve got plenty on your plate. Make a decision and own it! DS sounds like a good kid. Have a chat about the importance of honouring commitments usually, let the school know politely, make sure he sees through the summer work experience and book the holiday! I don’t think anyone is particularly invested in whether he does the experience in that particular week or not. From your first posts, some people (me included) thought DS thought it was beneath him all, which is bound to get some backs up! I don’t think that is the case though. Sounds more like you all need the holiday and the work experience week is a good time.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 24/10/2023 16:25

Assuming you're doing a package holiday, you could mail the holiday company and see if he could do a day or two shadowing a rep?

margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:28

This reply has been deleted

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happylittlesloth · 24/10/2023 16:40

margotrose · 24/10/2023 14:57

Well, you may not, but I certainly have done in the past (I'm self-employed now so can do what I want, pretty much).

I've turned down offers to go on courses, offers to do overtime, offers to change my hours around and increase my responsibility because, for various reasons, it didn't suit me at the time. I've also asked to change my hours and my responsibilities to suit me and my employer has, where possible, agreed to it.

You don't just have to live your life blindly following what you're told to do by school or work.

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This isn't an offer to do work experience. There is no negotiation here only skiving off.

happylittlesloth · 24/10/2023 16:40

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 24/10/2023 16:25

Assuming you're doing a package holiday, you could mail the holiday company and see if he could do a day or two shadowing a rep?

Hahahaha what. No rep would want that.

happylittlesloth · 24/10/2023 16:42

Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 15:49

Some of these replies are so heavy/deep/serious. I just can't bring myself to care that much about it.

We've had a chat and decided if he hasn't found something by Christmas then we'll go on holiday and he can do the week in the summer holidays instead. Winner winner.

If the school are ok with that and he explains to them its because he thinks he's above the two work experience offers he has then yeah go for it

happylittlesloth · 24/10/2023 16:44

margotrose · 24/10/2023 15:32

It’s not really that simple though is it? It’s a good lesson in the social contract. He receives an education, his teachers presumably often go above and beyond and in return, he has his own duties to perform.

I really don't think the teachers care all that much if Joe Bloggs or Sophie Smith go away on holiday instead of doing a week of work experience in the school canteen lol.

I do agree though that OP should just say they're off on holiday and leave the work experience out of it.

Of course the teachers don't give a shit what happens to OP's son out of school. But the school cares or they wouldn't timetable it in

happylittlesloth · 24/10/2023 16:46

margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:05

Does it have to be? Can't I just make a comment for the sake of it?

Jeez Louise. Chill out.

Show quote history

Who is louise

margotrose · 24/10/2023 16:46

But the school cares or they wouldn't timetable it in

They only timetable it in because they have to, surely?

happylittlesloth · 24/10/2023 16:47

Babybjorn · 24/10/2023 16:23

It sounds like your mind is made OP and like you’ve got plenty on your plate. Make a decision and own it! DS sounds like a good kid. Have a chat about the importance of honouring commitments usually, let the school know politely, make sure he sees through the summer work experience and book the holiday! I don’t think anyone is particularly invested in whether he does the experience in that particular week or not. From your first posts, some people (me included) thought DS thought it was beneath him all, which is bound to get some backs up! I don’t think that is the case though. Sounds more like you all need the holiday and the work experience week is a good time.

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I agree. You've already decided OP. As long as your son doesn't mind then go ahead and do whatever you want!

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