To take DS on holiday during work experience week

[Flufty191]

DS is year 10. We live in a small town. He's due to do work experience next summer. He/we have contacted every company in the local area and have either had no response, been told they don't offer work experience or the work experience places are already taken.

His options now are a charity shop or the school canteen (the canteen is the schools only help if you're unable to secure your child a place somewhere).

He's already doing voluntary work for his DofE.

Would I be unreasonable to book a family holiday abroad for a week instead?

Yanbu-book it
Yabu-he should do the work experience.

That's not my experience of the working world.

Yes, there are some things you have to do, but all my employers have been flexible where possible and I've always been able to re-arrange non-essential work activities if needed.

If there is a good reason to opt out or suggest alternative dates then of course we can, but in this case there really isn't good reason. Also, an employer may not honour opt out/change of date.

That might not be your experience, but it is the experience for many working people. There is also the fact that there is no good reason for him to opt out of this.

Expecting your child to make an effort to take part in a work experience week is not 'expecting them to be perfect all the time, to never miss a beat', in fact it will help them see how to cope when things are less than perfect!

My point was that lots of people work in jobs where they do have plenty of autonomy. Not all jobs are about blindly following directions with no personal freedom.

OP's DS already gets work experience volunteering in a charity shop and he has another week of work experience lined up in the summer.

Expecting him to do work experience on this specific week is of no real benefit to anyone - it's just following "the rules" for the sake of it.

None of these are reasons not to take the placement offered, or make more effort to find a better one.

If you say so.

Personally I'm glad my parents weren't such sticklers for "the rules" and didn't just blindly follow orders. Life is too bloody short.

It’s not really that simple though is it? It’s a good lesson in the social contract. He receives an education, his teachers presumably often go above and beyond and in return, he has his own duties to perform. There’s nothing to stop him going to talk to his teachers to explain why he doesn’t think the offered experience is useful and why he’d prefer to complete work experience at another time. I doubt they’d be too impressed though because they have to coordinate the needs of all the children. It’s totally different to you negotiating 1 on 1 with a boss! Of course in life you can (and should) be flexible, and there will be times most of us say no to something because it’s inconvenient, but also plenty of times we have to get on with things we don’t want to do. By the way, I really don’t think going on holiday instead is the end of the world. But better to just own it as a family decision rather than trying to make it into a stand about a teenage boy questioning the rules.

Maybe the OP is hoping to inspire her DS to a role with more autonomy? Lots of roles do offer that.

It’s not really that simple though is it? It’s a good lesson in the social contract. He receives an education, his teachers presumably often go above and beyond and in return, he has his own duties to perform.

I really don't think the teachers care all that much if Joe Bloggs or Sophie Smith go away on holiday instead of doing a week of work experience in the school canteen lol.

I do agree though that OP should just say they're off on holiday and leave the work experience out of it.

Not really.

One of the main aspects of work experience is interacting with adults on a different level to those you are related to or in a classroom / sports coach environment.

The OP's son may be OK in this respect if he's already doing some voluntary work , but I see many young people who really struggle with this aspect . Particularly those whose parents are happy to fund them and they go through both A levels and university without having worked a PT job.

Some of these replies are so heavy/deep/serious. I just can't bring myself to care that much about it.

We've had a chat and decided if he hasn't found something by Christmas then we'll go on holiday and he can do the week in the summer holidays instead. Winner winner.

He’s still getting the experience he wanted but doing it for a week in the summer hols instead. You get a cheaper holiday during the original week. Sounds like a win win to me!

Still not a reason not to do the W/E placement offered.

Stop taking life so seriously, you'll enjoy it more

You asked for opinions, and in usual MN style you got them.
Of course the final decision is yours.

Was that comment really necessary or relevant, or even remotely informed or accurate?

Dd couldn’t find anywhere. She got put with a florist who sent her down to the cellar to tidy up. She was barely allowed on the shop floor and only learned that florists are freezing and she would never work in one.

Doing what a school asks of a pupil/parent does not mean someone is 'a stickler for 'the rules'' or 'just blindly follow orders'. It means they understand that this is something that deserves effort, at both a personal and school level. Saying 'life is too short' isn't an excuse to get out of everything we just don't fancy doing.

Was that comment really necessary or relevant, or even remotely informed or accurate?

🥱

Not everything has to be so bloody serious all the time. Lighten up.

Just a waste of time for everyone concerned!

DH had to paint a shop staff room (smokers staff room as well!) Bleurgh! He's now a social worker.

I ended up in a school even though I hated little kids at the time. I was miserable. I'm now a nurse.

I wish my parents had taken me on holiday instead!

Our school expects you in school if you don’t have a placement. It would be unauthorised absence if you took them on holiday. They do a week of assisting and also learning how to do a cv, interviews etc for the ones that haven’t managed to find a placement.

That's a shame - when offering placements businesses really should consider what they can practically offer the work experience candidate.

It doesn’t deserve effort if OP’s ds is already doing volunteering.
It’s often some frazzled staff member with a bored teenager under their feet all week.

Again, was that comment really necessary or relevant, or even remotely informed or accurate?