To take DS on holiday during work experience week

[Flufty191]

DS is year 10. We live in a small town. He's due to do work experience next summer. He/we have contacted every company in the local area and have either had no response, been told they don't offer work experience or the work experience places are already taken.

His options now are a charity shop or the school canteen (the canteen is the schools only help if you're unable to secure your child a place somewhere).

He's already doing voluntary work for his DofE.

Would I be unreasonable to book a family holiday abroad for a week instead?

Yanbu-book it
Yabu-he should do the work experience.

Again, I haven't made anything up.
Work experience, in the real world, is essential and will continue to be.
Those who got jobs without it quite possibly had other ways in, other privileges, or were very lucky. Having experience will always be advantageous over not having it.

You don't always get to dictate when and how you will do things for a start.

It's a school assignment, saying "I'll do it in 6 months time" doesn't really cut it.

This isn't true.
Work experience teaches you, or should teach you, much more than just about a specific job role!

Tbh ours found w/e really useful but we found them very interesting placements ourselves.

In your situation, the holiday would be tempting.

go on the holiday! I would

You don't always get to dictate when and how you will do things for a start.

No, but in this case, he can, so what's the problem?

It's a school assignment, saying "I'll do it in 6 months time" doesn't really cut it.

Of course it does - do you really think the school give a shit?

Oh, on this, we absolutely agree!

I absolutely agree with you that real world work experience is important. I also completely agree that having relevant experience will look great on a CV/uni application.

I'm in total agreement on that issue.

The question here though, is whether it's essential that it happens as part of a school work experience program in a specific week. My opinion is that it isn't and that volunteering for a charity and in a NT cafe, doing a week of work experience in the summer and no doubt looking for paid work when he's old enough will be sufficient. I don't believe the OP's son will suffer any harm either to his University/work prospects or to his development as a person by having a holiday during work experience week and doing his work experience in the summer instead. This is the bit where we disagree because your view (expressed on this thread) is that he needs to partake in the school work experience week to gain these benefits. I believe these benefits can be easily gained through other work experience.

It isn't about the future employer knowing it, it is about him as a person! He's already being shown he can opt out if the terms aren't exactly as he likes, and that isn't realistic in terms of work.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but so bloody what?

Not everything has to be some big life lesson about work and the future 🤷‍♀️

I got a place at a mechanics workshop. I was the only girl they’d ever had ( I’m old) but it was brilliant and I had a great time and still know more than your average person about cars too.
however , if there’s nothing useful or interesting for your lad then just go on holiday and let him do a week somewhere when he has the chance. As PP said, it’s good to have for CV or ucas but if your kiddo is doing voluntary work anyway it’s no deal breaker.
an actual Saturday job is just as useful and would get him paid too. Enjoy your holiday :)

Clearly not, but school work experience probably should be one of the things that is.

Clearly not, but school work experience probably should be one of the things that is

I really can't agree with you - work experience is work experience, when it happens is completely irrelevant.

I'd be ashamed if my ds couldn't find a week of work experience, gave up with a half term to go, and thought he was too good for the only option available to those who failed to sort out a placement.

Tell them he’s secured work experience at XX Hotel in Lanzarote or wherever you’re going.

It's not completely irrelevant here, in that OP will be teaching her son to opt out or suggest another date for something, when there is no need to do so. The canteen or the charity shop is decent work experience, for the reasons many others have already stated.

Some of the reaction on here I find so OTT. DS is a lovely lad, he works hard in school, does his voluntary work, helps our elderly neighbour, cares for me when my disability flares up. He doesn't drink, smoke, vape, he's not anti social, hes never skipped school. There is absolutely nothing about him that I'm not proud of.

I feel sorry for kids who are put under pressure to be perfect all the time, to never miss a beat.

As adults do we not opt out or suggest more suitable, alternative dates for things? I dont know why that's so awful.

It's not about being perfect. It's doing what the school asks. And that is for a week of work experience, he seems to have two options for completing this and you're saying they're both not good enough for him as he's already done that type of work.

Not when it's our employer usually.

"I feel sorry for kids who are put under pressure to be perfect all the time, to never miss a beat."

Oh me too but don't kid yourself that making him do work experience is advocating for either of those two things.

I think you need to be honest with yourself about your intentions OP.

If he is a generally good kid and you’re both invested in school and his education and he’s genuinely going to take up the work experience in the summer and it just so happens that the work experience week is the week that works best for your family holiday it’s not the end of the world, although I do think you should be honest with the school about it. Just book the holiday and stop trying to justify it anymore than you would for another week at school.

If you’re both feeling demotivated because you can’t see the point, take a good read of this thread. You’ve been given loads of good advice, benefits of work experience and personal stories of how it’s helped young people. As another story, my most lucrative (and interesting!) part time job as a student was offered to me as I happened to do some much less well paid and more boring menial work for the managing director’s husband. I met her through the job and she was impressed.

If it’s that you do both think it’s beneath him and he shouldn’t have to just do as he’s told, that’s a real shame. Learning to rub along with people and learning that you have to do things you don’t want to do (in pretty much any job) are as important life lessons as any. His job currently is school. This is still school and he can’t just pick and choose what he engages with. If he really doesn’t think he needs to do work experience and you think he’s mature enough to make that decision, then he’s also mature enough to explain his thinking to his teachers.

Of course it's irrelevant.

There's actually nothing wrong with opting out of stuff sometimes - life is about so much more than just abiding by a random set of rules.

He already volunteers. He already has a week of work experience lined up elsewhere. The fact that school want him to do his work experience in a random week is completely meaningless in the long run.

Teaching her son that it's okay to opt out of a pointless activity to go abroad for a week is actually (IMO) a great lesson for him to learn. Honestly, life is so much more than school and rules and "work experience".

Well, you may not, but I certainly have done in the past (I'm self-employed now so can do what I want, pretty much).

I've turned down offers to go on courses, offers to do overtime, offers to change my hours around and increase my responsibility because, for various reasons, it didn't suit me at the time. I've also asked to change my hours and my responsibilities to suit me and my employer has, where possible, agreed to it.

You don't just have to live your life blindly following what you're told to do by school or work.

DS school has a big cohort and anyone who did not find work experience stayed in school and did work activities - CV planning, career workshops, etc.
Is yours definitely "closed" that week?
I think if your son has an alternative summer placement, then you might as well go, but I presume you would be taking it as unauthorised and not pretending he was working somewhere.

@Flufty191

As an adult I have to work to my employers schedule, end of - I can't move things to suit me

This interesting! I’d find CV help and careers workshops so much more useful than the work experience week!