Page 28 | Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

paintityellow · 2023-10-23T14:03:19+00:00

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year. Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year. AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

Insommmmnia · 23/10/2023 21:14

AllegroConMoto · 23/10/2023 21:12

You don't have to celebrate Christmas to enjoy 2 days off work with time to read, watch tv, go out walking, see friends, have a few people round, knit, sew, paint (or whatever you like to do that's peaceful and quiet).

That sounds like 2 days from hell

Tbf for me it sounds delightful and not too different from some of my Christmases

The casual disregard for how many peoples jobs actually work and the undervaluing of the needs of care home workers etc is rather grating though

LaurieStrode · 23/10/2023 21:16

Pezdeoro41 · 23/10/2023 15:18

This is a tough one I think. I totally get where you are coming from and I felt like this too when I was single - I’ve done my fair share of Xmas working over the years.

But sometimes this is not just a preference on the part of parents - there is literally nowhere that you can get childcare on Xmas day! I’m a single parent, so sorry, yeah I do have to have it off if I’m not going to leave my child hungry and alone all day. There is simply no option, just is there is no option for me to work nights for example. It’s a take or leave it situation from my point of view and I’d simply have to find a different job if an employer couldn’t accept this, out of necessity.

I'm sorry but single parents have the other 364 days of the year to figure it out. Find someone willing to work, which there always is if the price is right. Place the kids with a friend (and if one doesn't have any friends, why?). Ask at area churches if there is anyone willing to do childcare. Ask a co-worker who does have the day off to take your kids. Hire an au pair.

It's not other people's job to sort out life's difficulties. Many people who aren't single parents have just as pressing needs to have the day off.

AllegroConMoto · 23/10/2023 21:16

Insommmmnia · 23/10/2023 21:14

Tbf for me it sounds delightful and not too different from some of my Christmases

The casual disregard for how many peoples jobs actually work and the undervaluing of the needs of care home workers etc is rather grating though

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We’re all different, which is a great thing - it’s the forced “peaceful and quiet” time that was grating on me.

XenoBitch · 23/10/2023 21:17

YANBU I used to work Xmas for years (NHS) because of this. No kids, but I would like to see my parents on Xmas day.
The pressure from my colleagues was unreal.

Insommmmnia · 23/10/2023 21:18

AllegroConMoto · 23/10/2023 21:16

We’re all different, which is a great thing - it’s the forced “peaceful and quiet” time that was grating on me.

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Absolutely I can totally see that!

LaurieStrode · 23/10/2023 21:19

LuluBlakey1 · 23/10/2023 20:59

Yes, I can see utility workers could be needed- skeleton staff, on call.I can not see tv repairmen being expected to work or that being any significant number.

I think almost everything not absolutely essential to health, care or safety of people or animals should be closed on Christmas and Boxing Day. That should be the norm. We don't need hospitality, shops, takeaways, petrol stations , airports, trains or entertainment venues for those two days.

Actually we do need hospitality, trains, planes, restaurants, etc., on those days. Many people are passing through on Christmas Day, not at their domicile. Or should tourists just avoid all of England between Dec. 23 and Dec 27 so that everyone can sit home with their figgy pudding?

Tryingtokeepgoing · 23/10/2023 21:21

travelallthetime · 23/10/2023 17:49

If you take a job that needs cover at Christmas then you need to do your fair share, kids or no kids. No one should have to work every Christmas just because they dont have children. Dont like it, get a new job! My partner has to work some christmasses, just dpeends when his shift falls, last year he works 7-7 xmas day and boxing day and NYE and NYD! Crapola, this year he isnt working any. We just worked around it, xmas eve became xmas day thne on xmas day me and the kids went to my parents and he came and re heated his meal when he finished. We didnt die!

I agree that if Christmas working is part of the job every one should carry an equal share of the work, regardless of personal circumstances. Without exception.

I’ve had a further thought since my last post on this thread though. How about every employer has to give an extra 5 days holiday to everyone, but is also allowed to assign some ‘premium’ holiday days that require the use of 2 days holiday to book the day off. Let’s say the three days at Christmas and the 2 days at Easter.

That way, those with children that want to book holidays at peak times will still have the same statutory 28 days holiday, but face less competition for peak dates from those who’d rather have 5 extra days off elsewhere in the year. Those without children can be flexible and have more holiday ;)

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:24

No not at all but I just think it’s ridiculous that grown adults care more about Christmas than children I’m not a fan of it but my children are before I had kids I worked it and wasn’t bothered but I can’t quite contemplate grown adults being more excited about a holiday that’s primarily aimed at children unless they have religious beliefs 😂

M4J4 · 23/10/2023 21:24

DragonFly98 · 23/10/2023 15:59

Neither dh and I ever work on Christmas Day so it's not relevant to our family. That's great that you are family but as I said it's not about adult being with their children or not. It's about young children being with their parents. Celebrate Christmas in the evening or on another day if you are an adult it's irrelevant, for children in matters.
Your ds may have been happy but I can guarantee you he was happier the years you didn't work.

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The way you keep implying people without children or people without small children are irrelevant is really fucking disrespectful.

bathrobeandpie · 23/10/2023 21:24

AllegroConMoto · 23/10/2023 21:12

You don't have to celebrate Christmas to enjoy 2 days off work with time to read, watch tv, go out walking, see friends, have a few people round, knit, sew, paint (or whatever you like to do that's peaceful and quiet).

That sounds like 2 days from hell

irrelevant

it's just as valid as taking the kids to Lapland.

That's why the poster who claims leave should be allocated based on what SHE (or he) believes is worthy can't be anything but unfair and illegal.

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:24

Tryingtokeepgoing · 23/10/2023 21:21

I agree that if Christmas working is part of the job every one should carry an equal share of the work, regardless of personal circumstances. Without exception.

I’ve had a further thought since my last post on this thread though. How about every employer has to give an extra 5 days holiday to everyone, but is also allowed to assign some ‘premium’ holiday days that require the use of 2 days holiday to book the day off. Let’s say the three days at Christmas and the 2 days at Easter.

That way, those with children that want to book holidays at peak times will still have the same statutory 28 days holiday, but face less competition for peak dates from those who’d rather have 5 extra days off elsewhere in the year. Those without children can be flexible and have more holiday ;)

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I like this idea!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 23/10/2023 21:26

What happens if everyone in a team has young children? You can't prioritise those with young children over others with young children. Are the ones taking leave selfish to the others? Should all Christmas leave be banned?

I've worked in teams with a lot of parents. It wouldn't be unusual.

whoactuallyreallycares · 23/10/2023 21:27

I have a child and wouldn’t think I had priority for Christmas Day off for that reason.. people know what they’re signing up for when they accept a job and those particular conditions! Everybody wants to spend it with their loved ones, children or not. It should be on a rota basis, that’s the only fair way to do it!

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:27

notlucreziaborgia · 23/10/2023 21:00

I’m pretty sure that I didn’t say you weren’t. Generally though, when you express an opinion on a forum, you can expect to be replied to.

And yes, you were reading from the boring, and dramatic, ‘so selfish/bitter/scrooges/what about the children?’ script that usually makes an appearance on threads like these, as if it’s ever made anyone actually feel bad. You’re obviously absolutely welcome to your opinion that children take priority, and you are of course free to give up your own leave according to your ideals. Not sure what that has to do with anyone else though.

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I’m all up for a lively debate. I was just clarifying that I’m not feeling angry. Rather enjoying myself actually.

Dibbydoos · 23/10/2023 21:27

It's not like they work 24 hours, so tgey don't work the whole day. They can do presents on Chrisymas Eve and have Christmas Dinner instead of lunch.

I wouldn't cave if I wanted to fly home for Christmas, no way.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 23/10/2023 21:28

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:24

No not at all but I just think it’s ridiculous that grown adults care more about Christmas than children I’m not a fan of it but my children are before I had kids I worked it and wasn’t bothered but I can’t quite contemplate grown adults being more excited about a holiday that’s primarily aimed at children unless they have religious beliefs 😂

But it is a great opportunity to have an 11 day break by just using 3 days holiday. Why should those without children be denied that?

Insommmmnia · 23/10/2023 21:28

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MyAnacondaMight · 23/10/2023 21:28

Love the idea of Christmas costing 2 or 3 days off. That would motivate me to work Christmas Day.

ForfarFourEastFifeFive · 23/10/2023 21:29

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:24

No not at all but I just think it’s ridiculous that grown adults care more about Christmas than children I’m not a fan of it but my children are before I had kids I worked it and wasn’t bothered but I can’t quite contemplate grown adults being more excited about a holiday that’s primarily aimed at children unless they have religious beliefs 😂

I think, in many ways, that it’s good not everyone is like you.

Zanatdy · 23/10/2023 21:29

It’s unfair to put pressure on people when they’ve had 3 in a row. Presumably when they took that job they knew they might have to work Christmas Day. It should be done fairly, didn’t work last year, do this etc, swaps allowed but no pressure. Very unfair and then people start to feel guilty when they are just as entitled to their family Christmas as the next person. If the parents don’t want to work Christmas there’s plenty of 9-5 office closed bank holidays style jobs out there

HunterHearstHelmsley · 23/10/2023 21:29

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:24

No not at all but I just think it’s ridiculous that grown adults care more about Christmas than children I’m not a fan of it but my children are before I had kids I worked it and wasn’t bothered but I can’t quite contemplate grown adults being more excited about a holiday that’s primarily aimed at children unless they have religious beliefs 😂

It's not primarily for children. It may be in your family but it really isn't. It's quite odd that people think it's primarily for children

It'll be quite funny if those parents are in their old age, spending Christmas alone because their children have prioritised someone else 🤣🤣 I wonder if they'll see the irony.

AvengedQuince · 23/10/2023 21:29

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:24

No not at all but I just think it’s ridiculous that grown adults care more about Christmas than children I’m not a fan of it but my children are before I had kids I worked it and wasn’t bothered but I can’t quite contemplate grown adults being more excited about a holiday that’s primarily aimed at children unless they have religious beliefs 😂

I get grown adults caring about Christmas. I don't know when will be my last Christmas with my grandmother who is fast approaching 90. Though, I don't personally care about Christmas day, I am happy to celebrate and do my visiting on other days from solstice to New year. The day does very much matter to my four year old nephew, he is always looking at dates and events on his calendar.

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:29

FeverBeam · 23/10/2023 20:48

year on/year off is 'compassionate' and fair to all employees. Can you really not grasp that?

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No, I can’t grasp it. It’s not fair, in my view.

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:30

They shouldn’t if they want too but my opinion is that if it’s fair game childless people tend to prefer nye off?

Insommmmnia · 23/10/2023 21:30

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:27

I’m all up for a lively debate. I was just clarifying that I’m not feeling angry. Rather enjoying myself actually.

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Rather enjoying trying to make people without children/who can't have children feel shit and worthless?

You need a new hobby if this is your idea of enjoying yourself