Page 25 | Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

paintityellow · 2023-10-23T14:03:19+00:00

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year. Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year. AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

Brefugee · 23/10/2023 20:37

DragonFly98 · 23/10/2023 15:39

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

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don't be so daft. It may be my last Christmas with my mum. So your kids can suck it up for a year.

Turn and turn about is the fairest way, as a lot of companies are realising.

Mrsmch123 · 23/10/2023 20:37

I worked every single Xmas for the 11 years. Because I didn't have children and because I preferred new year. Role on 2021 and I had a kid. Was off on mat leave of 21 and requested 2022 off but I will be working this year and that's just the way the cookie crumbles🤷🏻‍♀️

PrismGuile · 23/10/2023 20:38

My parents are both fine. However my godmother was diagnosed with two terminal cancers at once. We’re not blood relations. But we found out last month and she will likely be dead before my wedding next autumn. Before all her children’s wedding and my sisters. I thought she would be there and now it seems she will never be at any of them.

Christmas with young kids is lovely. But you aren’t entitled to it. I’m childless - but I will be spending Xmas with my godmother, my favourite ‘aunt’, my second mother before I never ever get to see her again. Parents likely have 40+ christmases with their children. But this is the only one I have left with her…. Why on Earth would I sacrifice that for you nor should I? Work/colleagues have no idea about the lives of their childless colleagues.

PrismGuile · 23/10/2023 20:38

Sorry that was meant to be a reply to someone who said that parent should get automatic priority.

Thingstodotoday · 23/10/2023 20:40

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SerafinasGoose · 23/10/2023 20:40

redeyedcat · 23/10/2023 20:32

*It isn't. This is a very myopic view. 'Christmas' is important to people for whatever reason they feel it so. You don't have a monopoly on this, and nor can you speak for the rest of the population.

Yuletide and the Winter Solstice were important to Pagans. The Christians didn't bother about that when they were persecuting them, or murdering the women they accused of witchcraft, or appropriating Pagan festivals and grafting their own middle-eastern faith onto these far older, established, British traditions.

The solstice festivals were Pagan. We were there first.

Does that give us carte blanche to dictate who these traditions were most important to, or who had original claim on them; or, for that matter, who gets first dibs on time off in December?

No. Of course it does not.*

@SerafinasGoose in my view everyone is equal and leave should be fair. But If we are saying people with kids should take precedence, well, then maybe religious people who celebrate Christmas should trump them. Why should people with kids have more of a right to Christmas off than Christians with strong religious beliefs who want to attend midnight mass and Xmas day services etc.

I've strongly argued upthread that they shouldn't. But two wrongs don't make a right.

If anyone trumps anyone, it's those who needs surpass others' wants. Those who are in a real jam, or who have been under unbearable stress, or are struggling with mental ill-health, or who have been injured, or who are nursing terminally ill relatives, or who have been bereaved.

I'm sure that, as a one-off, no one would mind pitching in in circumstances like those. It would be the compassionate thing to do.

The issue is with those who believe their lifestyle choices should trump those of others, year after year with no respite, and who expect others will continually step up. And it doesn't really matter much on what basis they make such a claim. The expectation is that other humans are commodities for their wants.

Family status and spiritual background don't, and shouldn't, come into it.

cadburyegg · 23/10/2023 20:40

I'm appalled by how many parents on this thread are all for children being without their mums or dads on Christmas Day

It's all about how the parents handle it! What about children with separated parents, are you appalled that they don't see both parents every Christmas? My soon to be ex husband isn't seeing our kids on Christmas Day. He's invited but has chosen to spend the day with his partner. My kids don't care, I told them he will see them Christmas Eve instead. Kids don't need both parents to have a memorable Christmas.

LadyTrunchbull · 23/10/2023 20:41

It's the people that make out that they're doing the world some great service by having kids that make me lol. Nobody has kids for altruistic purposes and there's far too many humans on this planet already.

I applaud the selfless martyrs that forego motherhood for the greater good. 👏

Chickenkeev · 23/10/2023 20:43

if you want to have the pleasure of parents and their skills, you might have to accept they come with a certain amount of bagagge. Namely kids. Kids take time, it can be inconvenient. That's life. Usually it's women that take the hit. Being a parent is hard when you work. An understanding employer is invaluable.

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 20:44

LoveTheDetectorists · 23/10/2023 20:36

Hi.
Press on the three dots on the top right hand side of someone’s post.
Then you will be able to comment on their post.

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Thank you!

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 23/10/2023 20:44

YANBU - they need to prioritise their children's Christmas and get a different job if it's that important to them. That's what I did.

SD1978 · 23/10/2023 20:44

It amazes me when the assumption is that your kids trumps all other family relationships. No, they are not more important. They are important to you, but someone else's family, and spending time with them, is just as important to them. The assumption, even by some on here that young kids trump travelling to family, or even just celebrating on your own, is bollocks, and selfish. Everyone should have the chance to spend the day with you they way, and how they want, and shouldn't be railroaded into giving that up. As others have said, by all means you can ask, but that's it. It'll be your turn the following year, and I doubt this people would swap for someone with kids younger than theirs!

redeyedcat · 23/10/2023 20:44

Chickenkeev · 23/10/2023 20:43

if you want to have the pleasure of parents and their skills, you might have to accept they come with a certain amount of bagagge. Namely kids. Kids take time, it can be inconvenient. That's life. Usually it's women that take the hit. Being a parent is hard when you work. An understanding employer is invaluable.

So employers should give parents every Xmas off and make the childfree employees pick up the slack?

Welshmonster · 23/10/2023 20:45

YANBU but your management should stick by their plan and say that’s it.

also anyone that swaps needs to get it in writing. I swapped when I was more interested in partying and no kids. I swapped and worked Xmas day for someone with kids as we worked shifts in the airport. They then didn’t do my New Year’s Day and I got a bollocking from management. Even though they could see from my time card I worked Xmas eve and the other person denied it. Was fuming 😡

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 20:45

Chickenkeev · 23/10/2023 20:43

if you want to have the pleasure of parents and their skills, you might have to accept they come with a certain amount of bagagge. Namely kids. Kids take time, it can be inconvenient. That's life. Usually it's women that take the hit. Being a parent is hard when you work. An understanding employer is invaluable.

Exactly. As someone else said, where’s the compassion?

Thingstodotoday · 23/10/2023 20:45

Chickenkeev · 23/10/2023 20:43

if you want to have the pleasure of parents and their skills, you might have to accept they come with a certain amount of bagagge. Namely kids. Kids take time, it can be inconvenient. That's life. Usually it's women that take the hit. Being a parent is hard when you work. An understanding employer is invaluable.

Yes but you can’t expect that baggage to be offloaded onto other employees!!

AllegroConMoto · 23/10/2023 20:45

Chickenkeev · 23/10/2023 20:43

if you want to have the pleasure of parents and their skills, you might have to accept they come with a certain amount of bagagge. Namely kids. Kids take time, it can be inconvenient. That's life. Usually it's women that take the hit. Being a parent is hard when you work. An understanding employer is invaluable.

If you want to have the pleasure of people without young children and their skills, you might have to accept that they need to be treated fairly.

SoRainbowRhythms · 23/10/2023 20:45

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 20:45

Exactly. As someone else said, where’s the compassion?

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Where's the compassion to those with commitments that don't include children?

redeyedcat · 23/10/2023 20:46

Exactly. As someone else said, where’s the compassion?

So you want employers to grant 'compassion' by making their childfree employees work instead. Riiiiiight.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/10/2023 20:46

That's a pretty extensive list @redeyedcat, but you forgot utility workers and the clergy

I've just read that apparently over 1 million work on "the day" in total, so let's just be grateful that they won't all be a*seholes who expect someone else to take their place

twostraws · 23/10/2023 20:46

I used to work with a colleague who refused to work over Christmas. Our boss wasn't one for confrontation, so he let her. The rest of us all worked, because we knew how busy it would be and how it wasn't an appropriate time to take off.

She couldn't figure out why everyone hated her, and why she was always held back from promotion.

I'm not sure her Christmases off were worth it.

Everyone is always going to have a reason for wanting time off. It's hugely selfish to assume your reason is more valid. When you're a team, if it's even possible to have the time off, you take it in turns fairly.

When you're not a team player... don't go whining when your career goes nowhere. Refusing to work on the unpopular days is something that everyone notices and always remembers.

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 23/10/2023 20:47

Chickenkeev · 23/10/2023 20:43

if you want to have the pleasure of parents and their skills, you might have to accept they come with a certain amount of bagagge. Namely kids. Kids take time, it can be inconvenient. That's life. Usually it's women that take the hit. Being a parent is hard when you work. An understanding employer is invaluable.

It's not the employer who has to work every christmas because they have no kids though.

LindorDoubleChoc · 23/10/2023 20:47

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 20:26

I think you are being the arsehole unless you are religious Christmas is boring for adults children feel the magic

A comment that says it all not in a good way.

LadyTrunchbull · 23/10/2023 20:47

I mean, just imagine if poor little Johnny has to unwrap his Lego train set on boxing day. The horror! 😂

LuluBlakey1 · 23/10/2023 20:47

So:
Hospitality:pubs, hotels, restaurants, some takeaways
Some petrol stations- there are never any near us open on Christmas Day
Some corner shops- again many are closed
Air port - again reduced staffing
Roadside recovery - reduced staffing
Highways - reduced staffing
Journalism- must be skeleton staff
Some pharmacies- skeleton staff in a few pharmacies
Animal care
Vicars- I would have thought they'd want to given it's about the biggest church attendance of the year.
Taxi drivers

Apart from hospitality we're not talking large numbers in any of these. They're not huge employers. There must be more than this given the size of the issue every year on mumsnet. What else ?

I can't see why most of these can't just close apart from animal care, the occasional pharmacy, taxis, roadside recovery and vicars.
We don't need newspapers that day, or flights, or petrol stations, takeaways, corner shops or pubs- it's one day a year. Personally, I wouldn't be allowing hospitality to open apart from hotel rooms.