Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

Then I would account for them too . I doubt it would happen as it’s spread weeks over the year and we don’t work Christmas and new years anyway as we close anyway . Fairness doesn’t equate doing the same for everyone imo it equates making it according to people’s individual needs . I never had a single issue with others holidays over the 7 years I had this team , well a few hiccups during covid but that was to be expected .

I worked 25 Christmas days in a row as I didn’t have children, put my foot down when management felt it was a done deal I would work xmas day. I even refused to one year as I had worked the year before got put on a disciplinary for something to pay me back.

If you deny someone a Christmas break because they don't have children meaning they can't travel to be with loved ones at the end of their working day they go home to an empty place with no company have Christmas programmes shoved at them reminding them their alone and spend hours sat alone dwelling on it. .....for god sake it's not rocket science do you know anything about mental health?

Before I had a child, I had no one to spend Christmas with (nearly all my adult life until late 30s).
I think it would have tipped me over the edge if I'd been expected to work on Christmas day because people with loved ones to spend it with come first, whether they were parents or not!

Really I think it would be best if we just had Christmas as a religious festival and let Christians have that day off, parents or not. The making it about family is so excluding and unpleasant for the rest of us.

No, I get that fairness doesn’t mean doing the same for everyone. But saying that one person always must have the same time off and no one else can have it also isn’t fair, because what if, for instance, someone is doing a course that happens to have an exam that is at the same time as the “protected” leave? Or needs to take a relative to a vital hospital appointment, or attend a family wedding?

Not sure if you know how misogyny works.

Also have pointed out several times, I think everyone has an equal right to time off. Pile on again though.

A colleague doesn't owe someone else their mental health. The employer does.

You do know that you could be working away then suddenly get tipped into crisis don't you?

My partner is a prison officer. He's in all day Christmas Eve and working 7-3 Christmas Day. Our kids are 1 and 2. So we will do Christmas Day on Boxing Day. Next year he will be off. Fairs fair. Just because our kids are small it doesn't give him more right to spend Christmas Day with his family then anyone else.

Unfortunately I know quite a lot about mental health. Which is why I find catastrophising mental health really unhelpful.

to be fair 99% of these problems would be solved if companies just recognised some days are hard to staff and offered an appropriate incentive for doing so, whether that's double time, an additional day of leave or whatever. No idea why they are so tight when for a comparatively small effort a lot of angst could be avoided, time arguing/making a rota/referring to who worked the last 5 years/dealing with HR complaints could be saved and a general improvement in working relations rather than colleagues resenting each other/management.

It worked in my last job - the 'reward' was pretty miniscule (think it was about £50 (although only worked out as about £30 after all deductions) to be 'on call' (so not necessarily even have to work) over bank holidays and suddenly not only was it easy to staff we had extra people volunteering as reserves. This was in the public sector too where it's usually impossible to get extra money.

Obviously some people would still never want (or be able to if they couldn't find childcare) Christmas for any amount of money but there would be enough people who would do so willingly that it wouldn't matter.

That's me,I'm such and such.They do come to expect you to do it and get angry when you decline .They think you have nothing better to do than work (as you have no kids) . You end up with nothing better to do as your friends stop inviting you out because you are always at work covering for people with families .Then boom youth is gone and all you know how to do is work!

Me too. Not long out of hospital. In my case, it was a confluence of issues.

I have children but this year more than any other I just want to spend Christmas with my dad because I don't know how many more Christmases we have with him. He's just been diagnosed with leukemia. Stand your ground op. Everyone has the right to be where they want to be for Christmas, with or without children!

@Chickenkeev glad you are out. Speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹

@Acornsoup apologies if you thought my reply to you was a pile on; it wasn’t intended that way. You did say you were all for everyone getting equal rights to Christmas off.

I keep reading about this "massive child/parent hating" population of posters on MN

But I never actually see any of these mythical posts.

But by all means do report the child/parent hating posts to MN

Do you have children ? Or contact with them ? I can assure you most 3 or 4 year olds know how to countdown to Christmas Day some even younger

And what about compassion for the person who wants to fly home to visit parents?

@Drknittingfrog i'll keep everything crossed for you and keep you in my thoughts x

That's ok

Nope. Misogyny is much more evident going to the other way, toward childfree women. Who are also women. Like mothers.

What is evident here is arseholery, mostly from parents.

If a parent is working Christmas Day (DH - a doctor did plenty), you celebrate on Boxing Day or the first day they aren’t working. DC’s just do a countdown to a different day.

Alas, it doesn't work like that!. Slow and steady wins the race with MH. Great craic altogether!

I can’t even remember a single childhood Christmas! I hope my parents didn’t go to a lot of trouble over the whole thing.