To really, really want a third DC

[Kindlylight]

I’m 42. I have two lovely children. To have a third would be so stupid but … oh I want one. So much

No… I’m a single mum too, I asked if she was single because OP didn’t originally give an explanation as to why she couldn’t/wouldn’t have another child

He’d never agree @1990thatsme . Logically and pragmatically he would be right. But I know if I was to get pregnant I’d be over the moon … until I was confronted with the realities of three under 4s, anyway

I would love another baby (3rd child) but health, finances and dh’s vasectomy pretty much guarantees a no

Right, that makes sense! Sorry @OhTheJoys8 . I certainly didn’t intend for a moment to suggest anything negative about single parents

It’s ok

Borrow a friends baby for the day... you won't be broody by the end.

I think having 3 under 4s would firmly have me not wanting another! Your hormones are probably still all over the place making you broody. Why aren't you allowed a pet though?

I have my own baby, which is why it’s so insane. Why am I broody for a baby when I have a baby? I know it’s because I know she’s the last so I’m clinging onto every moment. (She’s a very chilled baby which helps, if I had dc1 back for a day as a baby I might say different!)

It's. The. Hormones.

It will pass when you get out of the baby stage.

I have six because I was so broody.

Then I stopped being broody but now after my youngest turned 15 I'm broody again at 43. But my other half has had the snip - just as well!

I'll have to make do with my 3 grandchildren who I love to bits.

@wobblyweasel DH really isn’t into animals. I did have a cat and the stress it caused was unbelievably frustrating. I actually had a thread on here about it once. Sadly the poor cat died a couple of weeks before I had DC2. I may well be able to persuade him to get rabbits or guinea pigs or something in the future but nothing like a dog or cat. He isn’t horrible, he just doesn’t deal with (animal) poo very well

OP, there is a single word to consider in this situation, which has directly affected at least three families I can think of off the top of my head (early forties, super broody, 2 DC already, one persuades the other to go for DC3...).

TWINS.

Have DC4? I did. 5 stars, would recommend.

I like your style @babetyouknow

And if the hormones then tell you to have DC5, and DC6?

Thanks 😁I was 44, my eldest was 17, was probably a terrible idea on paper, but it was the best thing I ever did. She's 6 now, no regrets.

What are you trying to achieve @DrMarshaFieldstone ? I’m not trying to be argumentative or difficult, I just don’t see what you want to do here, keep adding numbers of children until the poster finally says yes, that would be too much? What’s the point of that? (Edit, typo.)

Go for it if you want one and have energy and financial means for it. Don't think 42 is too old at all!

What about a hundred children hey, op? Huh, huh, think on that, huh???
🤣🤣🤣

I'm genuinely interested. I consider myself fortunate to have had a very clear understanding of when my family was complete and I have never experienced the intense broodiness over and over that some women do. Friends have told me that their families never felt complete because they had to stop for practical reasons, not because the desire for more children went away. I try to empathise and understand people's motivations but this is so far from my own experience that I appreciate the insight from an anonymous thread.

So yes, I am interested if the logic carries through indefinitely.

You should do it now cos it will be menopause soon

I think everyone is different. I think many people would like more but recognise their responsibility is to the child or children they have and stop. But obviously depending on a myriad of factors when you stop is going to be different. Then you have the Radfords.

Are you prepared for it to be twins, or have additional needs?

Getting a bit of a hard time here OP. First of all, you really give me hope, you having a decent size family in your 40s. I am early 30s, relationship broken down and this gives me hope. Also, massive respect for you for considering your husband's feelings and admitting it would be selfish to have another child.
I'd say you should only consider doing it if:

• husband agrees
• you have space
• your both have stable (preferably FT) jobs, pensions and futures
• it would not negatively impact on your existing children (and yes, that includes opportunities they might miss out on because having a third means you don't have the money or time to give them what they need and deserve).
• your health would allow it (besides the fact you would be 44 - many women have healthy pregnancies at this age)

Bad reasons for doing it:

• you just 'like babies'. All kids grow up (don't be like my ex MIL who had 6 just because she was addicted to the baby stage)
• You 'just want one'
• to repair a problem in your marriage (not the case by the sound of it)
• you want one of a particular sex

I have three age 12,10&7 and have always wanted a fourth but due to health following an accident I couldn’t have considered it until recently. It is absolutely not the right thing for our family, my husband is completely against the idea, financially it would be awful but it really is something I want so much. I’m so grateful for the three children we have but it doesn’t change the way I feel and I wish so much we could do it again and have a fourth. I hope it’s something I can find peace with in time…