She shows up drunk

[Jumpleaprun]

I was on my way to work at 6:30am the other day when I spotted a friend (I use this term loosely as we aren’t close) walking down my drive looking a bit worse for ware. She started sobbing and told me she believed her partner had been messaging other women (went threw his phone in the night) and that she wanted to leave the house. I start work at 7am so I was literally about to drive off when I spotted her. I then notice the bottle of wine she was holding and I asked how she got here and she confirmed she drove. I told her to head inside and have a sleep but she begged me to stay with her and didn’t want to be alone. I then had to phone work and VERY last minute drop them in it. She then wouldn’t go to sleep, drank more wine she had on her then buggered off to a different friends once they woke up at 11. My work are unhappy I have them no notice but I was scared she might drive again in that state. AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that a grown woman has behaved like this and put me in this position with my work? I work on a hospital so it’s pretty important I show up or give ample notice, she knows this. She started drinking at 2am that night before as well once she saw texts.

Yeah I'd be pissed off too, but you did the right thing and you should feel proud of yourself - even if this woman is inconsiderate

If she drove again that would be on her, it’s her responsibility not yours. Your “friend” is an idiot but I wouldn’t have blown off work to babysit a drunk friend. Your responsibility at that point was to go to work. So yes I think YABU and I’d be quite pissed off I was your employer.

She's not a friend in any sense - you said you aren't close, and anyone who turned up pissed would be an ex-friend after that, even without the work issue.

Oh dear - did she contact you later to apologise?

I wouldn't have invited her in tbh. I'd have told her she couldn't drive and called her a taxi.

You're a good friend though I must say

You should have taken her keys off of her and called the police.

I'd be fuming. I'd have to tell her how inconvenienced you were, especially as she went off to another friend. I'd be prepared to lose led her as a friend once you've said it, but tbh this will always play on your mind and irritate you and you'll always resent her for it, well, that's how I'd feel. It's very selfish behaviour on her part, drunk or not , even if she thinks she was within reason, I've been through worse in life and hopefully I've always been considerate. So explain to her the impact on you and work and prepare to loose her as a ' friend' no loss. Xx

I absolutely would not have been takingva day off work to babysit an adult.

In that situation the thing to do is get her home, get her car keys if you can, tell work you will be a bit late, and then call the police. She is safe, hopefully no access to the car and the police are aware of her name and car reg if she does drive again. I wouldnt have sacrificed work for it.

All the choices you made were yours. I don't understand why you would do supposedly kind things then resent her for it. You could have just taken her car keys and put her inside.

I think you should have just taken her keys from her amd gone to work.

Leaving her in the house sounds a risky proposition to me - I wouldn't leave some drunk in my house.

You are a good friend - too good - next time take the car keys off her and go to work. Although as she left at 11am I would be questioning if she’s actually worth the friendship

I wouldn't have rushed my job over this. I would've taken her keys and booked her a taxi home. If she not remorseful then you need to ditch her.

Risked

Yabu to not turn up to work. I'm guessing you are a health care assistant? Someone going without care at work because of a drunk friend isn't a good choice. You were being kind and trying your best but it was misplaced.

This, you can't blame her though she didn't force you

Yesit was nice you tried but call the police next time

You did a kind and decent thing.

In my opinion there are two kinds of people - givers and takers. You sound like a giver and she sounds like a taker.

The world needs people like you, and you shouldn’t feel bad for your kindness. The key is to recognise that this person is a taker, and save your generosity for people who deserve and appreciate it.

You should have put her in a taxi home - but hard to think straight under pressure. Ultimately you did the right thing ensuring she didn’t get back in her car and potentially kill’s someone. I’d be telling work that, but you work in a hospital and you did drop them in it. This women is unhinged and needs reporting to the police

Could you have removed her car keys and bottle, driven her home quickly and told her to sleep it off. And then gone onto work, albeit a bit late. ?
Your work is your priority over a drunk and still drinking acquaintance at 6.30am.
But I completely understand the sudden and very random dilemma you were facing. Hard to know what to do for the best.
You should let her know that you didn’t appreciate her making you jeopardise your work and wouldn’t ever indulge her drunken nonsense again, especially drunk driving.

Yabu to miss work but yanbu to worry about your friend.
Next time call the police.

That was nice of you. But if it happened again take her keys and call the police. Go into work later. Otherwise she may keep doing it, and could kill someone next time.

What is risky about leaving an upset (drunk) friend in your house?

You say “some drunk” like she’s an unknown alcoholic who’s wandered off the street.

I agree - but if friend had caused a serious - maybe even fatal - accident, OP would have felt terrible about it.

Possibly taking her car key and ringing the police would have been an option, but it sounds like friend might have become aggressive. Awful situation for @Jumpleaprun to be in - don't know what else shecould have safely done, though.