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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate Whatsapp reaction feature

71 replies

u163028 · 22/10/2023 18:48

The only time I find it ok, is when a reaction is used when a conversation is at a natural end, or when its followed up with a reply.

I find it borderline rude when people use it and then don't bother to respond properly with a reply. Example, I send a photo to a friend 'I saw this and thought of you!' I get a ''person' reacted 'heart' to ...'' and no reply. It basically makes me think they don't actually want to speak to you or make conversation, it actually makes me feel a bit rejected, like I'd probably feel the same if they just didn't reply and left me on read.

It was actually better when people replied/responded with an emoji than them clicking the 'reaction' button.

OP posts:
amiboverd · 22/10/2023 18:50

I see what you mean. I agree it works at the end of w deidcuusij or a way to end a discussion and also it can work well in group scenarios. There comes a point where someone needs to stop replying.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 22/10/2023 18:54

But the reaction lets you know that they appreciated it. Maybe they haven't got time to get in to a back and forth text convo 🤷🏼‍♀️

PerfectYear321 · 22/10/2023 19:05

That's why MN won't add a 'like' function, as they know it will make the site less interactive. You're wrong to say it's rude, but yes it certainly isn't as nice as a reply from the person.

aswarmofmidges · 22/10/2023 19:06

And if you noticed they saw it and didn't respond you would also be upset ? Feel that they were ignoring you ? Not everyone is instantly available for a chat when you are

Cosyblankets · 22/10/2023 19:10

To me a heart or whatever reaction is the same as in a message.
I don't see the difference

margotrose · 22/10/2023 19:11

I always use the emoji reactions. Much easier than sending a reply when I'm busy at work.

PantsOfDoom · 22/10/2023 19:13

I like them, quicker and visual

UsingChangeofName · 22/10/2023 19:13

But the reaction lets you know that they appreciated it. Maybe they haven't got time to get in to a back and forth text convo

This.
YABU

Superhair · 22/10/2023 19:15

I think it is disappointing if you’re using the picture to start a conversation and get a heart, but the person may not be able to respond in that moment, or can’t think of anything to say, so try not to personalise it. (Unless they do it all the time to you)

CherryMyBrandy · 22/10/2023 19:18

They might not want to "speak to you or engage in conversation". Doesn't make them rude. Maybe they are busy/in the middle of something/just not in the mood. That's fine. I think expecting full engagement to whatever message you send on your timescale is more rude.

I also tend to use the emojis when I am not sure how to respond in words. So I just send a "love" or "like" etc to indicate I love or like it when I have run out of words that day.

AutumIsOrange · 22/10/2023 19:20

I love them and use them (and on normal texts) all the time.

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/10/2023 19:20

I think you're overthinking it OP. A proper response is nice but not everybody always has the time. I use the react function quite a lot if I'm at work or on the go, to acknowledge something I've been sent that doesn't require an answer in words. It doesn't mean I'm rejecting the sender.

spookehtooth · 22/10/2023 19:21

If you need a reply too, then perhaps the person responding didn't use it in a good context? Blame the person not the feature, which has a legit use. They're the active participant in the conversation. So yea, I think YABU

Mrsjayy · 22/10/2023 19:25

👍 Is the only one you need to worry about they clearly hate your photo 😄 I always give a heart to acknowledge pictures or text it really isn't rude imo it's just they don't have time to chat.

Original poster
u163028 · 22/10/2023 19:39

I think in context I mean when you are sending a photo or a message to start a conversation, nothing closes the conversation like a 'reaction' to the message instead of a response.

I get people might be busy, but isn't it better for the receiver to wait until they have time to respond properly? If I haven't spoken to the person for a few days as an example, it feels a bit like a rejection to receive a reaction instead of proper message. It almost tells me, I don't wish to engage with you. That's just how I feel about it, whether I ABU or not.

OP posts:
margotrose · 22/10/2023 19:40

I think in context I mean when you are sending a photo or a message to start a conversation, nothing closes the conversation like a 'reaction' to the message instead of a response.

But sending a photo isn't really starting a conversation, it's just sharing something you find cute/funny.

Mrsjayy · 22/10/2023 19:41

I think people think it's rude not to Reply right away so acknowledge with a reaction to show they have seen it so not ignoring you.

spookehtooth · 22/10/2023 19:43

@u163028 I wouldn't call it a rejection, other people have the right to decide what their reaction should be and compelling them to react as suits you feels wrong to me. You're entitled to not like their decision, and amend you're relationship accordingly if it feels right, but the feature isn't the problem

Original poster
u163028 · 22/10/2023 19:48

margotrose · 22/10/2023 19:40

I think in context I mean when you are sending a photo or a message to start a conversation, nothing closes the conversation like a 'reaction' to the message instead of a response.

But sending a photo isn't really starting a conversation, it's just sharing something you find cute/funny.

I never just send a photo, I always put some text with the photo. I think just sending a photo without any message is a bit odd.

OP posts:
GuitarGeorge · 22/10/2023 19:55

You are overthinking this and assuming everyone attaches the same importance to WhatsApp as you do. Maybe they’re just busy and haven’t the time or inclination to type a message?

OneFrenchEgg · 22/10/2023 19:59

I think it's less I don't want to engage with you, and more I don't want to engage with this?
Like what reaction do you want to something you saw and thought of me? Did you buy it/book it/ is it a plan you want to make? Etc

shivawn · 22/10/2023 20:02

I think if you want to start a conversation it's probably best to send a conversational message and include a question about themselves.

If I just had someone send a photo, like a throwback photo of us or something then I might just respond with "awww" or "good times", I wouldn't necessarily think they wanted a chat.

TrickorTreacle · 22/10/2023 20:02

I put YABU because MS Teams has a like button as well, plus Facebook, Twitter and all manner of websites and forums.

Hell, even MN has a like button ("Thanks").

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 22/10/2023 20:05

CherryMyBrandy · 22/10/2023 19:18

They might not want to "speak to you or engage in conversation". Doesn't make them rude. Maybe they are busy/in the middle of something/just not in the mood. That's fine. I think expecting full engagement to whatever message you send on your timescale is more rude.

I also tend to use the emojis when I am not sure how to respond in words. So I just send a "love" or "like" etc to indicate I love or like it when I have run out of words that day.

What she said ⬆️

tinnedbeansandsausages · 22/10/2023 20:11

GuitarGeorge · 22/10/2023 19:55

You are overthinking this and assuming everyone attaches the same importance to WhatsApp as you do. Maybe they’re just busy and haven’t the time or inclination to type a message?

This