Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you assume obese people with cancer are to blame?

84 replies

Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 07:26

following on from the diabetic thread.

I was obese for years, then I developed type 2 diabetes. I only have myself to blame. I started taking my health very seriously, and took up sport, ate sensibly and lost more than 7 stone.

20 years later, I still have T2 diabetes, and can only blame myself. I also have cancer, which is genetic. I have now been on treatment for cancer for 18 months, which involves operations, chemo and a massive daily dose of heavy duty steroids.

I have put on more than 7 stone, and am obese again. I still eat healthily, I still play sport. But this obesity is related to my medication and is a normal and expected side effect. Lots of people I see at treatment are also on these steroids, and also putting on masses of weight.

There is a difference between the two times I have been obese, and the two illnesses! One I had some control over, one I have no control over at all

However, lots of people who don't even know I am diabetic, assume my cancer was caused by obesity, rather than my obesity has been caused by treatment for cancer

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 22/10/2023 07:29

I don’t assume people are responsible for their own health issues and blame them because I’m not a judgemental dick- don’t worry about what anyone thinks and get well

happylittlesloth · 22/10/2023 07:31

No I don't think about the whys really

wetnwindy49 · 22/10/2023 07:33

It never crosses my mind that someone has given themselves cancer for whatever reason. Could you link the diabetes thread?

Valerianandfoxglovesoup · 22/10/2023 07:33

No! I think it's bad luck and genes. I had a gastric sleeve because I really couldn't lose weight due to PCOS and also, if I'm honest, I just couldn't stop making unhealthy choices. Miserable, fat, miserable about being fat, wine and cakes to cheer up, miserable about being fat and so on. I also have had steroids before and been horrified by the effect. I smoked for years and drank too much. Now I am happy and don't drink or smoke and no better or deserving as I was before. If anything, I am more equipped to deal with it now if gid forbid it hit me. Don't you DARE go down that road, you are not a bad person who deserves anything. (I don't know you of course, you could be utterly dreadful but it wouldn't equate to punishment by cancer) take special great care lovely xxx

Zapx · 22/10/2023 07:33

No, I don’t. There are loads of obese people who don’t have cancer, obviously, so when I hear of someone who has cancer my only reaction is sympathy. Personally I think a lot of cancer is down to such a mix of factors, so “blame” Is not really helpful. I maybe make an exception for smoking, as that does seem to be directly linked to a lot of very negative health implications.

I’m really sorry you’re unwell, and I hope your treatment is successful. And also well done for your past weight loss!

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 22/10/2023 07:34

I blame smokers if they get lung cancer but obese people? No. Double standards maybe? Think it was only when l lost a very dear (obese) friend to cancer and other people commented on her size that l even knew obesity could cause it.
I hope your treatment is successful op.

Frasers · 22/10/2023 07:34

No this wouldn’t cross my mind.

saveforthat · 22/10/2023 07:34

Really? Do people actually say this to your face? I was pretty overweight when I had cancer, nobody assumed obesity was the cause ( as far as I know)

Tighginn · 22/10/2023 07:36

Your projecting.

Lochness1975 · 22/10/2023 07:37

I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through 🌸I can definitely relate to taking medication that makes you put on weight. It’s horrible, I’ve put on 5 stone despite regularly going to the gym.

I have never believed that someone’s cancer is their own fault. I think it’s the luck of the gene pool. I’ve never thought my friends breasts cancer was her fault, my friends cervical cancer her fault, my father in laws prostate cancer his fault and so on. If anyone thinks this then they are the ones at fault.

Pottedpalm · 22/10/2023 07:40

No, I don’t think that. Many do though. I had a type of cancer often associated with people who smoke. I have never smoked a single cigarette in my entire life, but people who didn’t know me often assumed I had. I was seeing a consultant once for an unrelated issue and on reading my notes he asked ‘So, have you given up smoking now?’
I replied that I had never smoked and he said ‘Well how did you get the cancer then?’
Well…. You tell me! 😏

cuckyplunt · 22/10/2023 07:41

I eat like a moron, total sugar addiction but I am not obese. I am lucky! I never judge anyone for their weight, so much of it genetics.

MissTrip82 · 22/10/2023 07:53

No, but many many people are extremely stupid and don’t bother to read anything at all about the complex causes of cancer, diabetes or obesity before confidently stating their views.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 22/10/2023 08:18

I wouldn't.

35965a · 22/10/2023 08:21

I honestly don’t. Even ‘smoking’ related cancers I don’t any more because I know plenty of people who smoked heavily and have been perfectly healthy - grandparents and their friends etc. Equally I’ve had family members who have had cancer and they live healthy lifestyles, don’t smoke and are an average weight. So I don’t judge.

PosyPrettyToes · 22/10/2023 08:23

Absolutely not. Things that have been linked to having cancer include: being a man, being a woman, having children, not having children, eating meat, being vegan…..

It all really boils down to a genetic predisposition, in the end.

if ever you start to think that way, have a read of this…..
https://www.anorak.co.uk/288298/tabloids/the-daily-mails-list-of-things-that-give-you-cancer-from-a-to-z.html

Anorak News | The Daily Mail’s List Of Things That Give You Cancer: From A To Z

Sacre Stories in the Daily Mail - here's a list of things that give you cancer...

https://www.anorak.co.uk/288298/tabloids/the-daily-mails-list-of-things-that-give-you-cancer-from-a-to-z.html

TicTacNicNak · 22/10/2023 08:24

No. I've always thought cancer was due to genetics or bad luck. I've known plenty of slim, fit and active people who've had cancer. I also know obesity isn't always due to overeating, so wouldn't judge anyone being obese, whether they have cancer or not.

Soubriquet · 22/10/2023 08:24

No. I usually assume it’s the medication which is why are they so overweight

IHeartGeneHunt · 22/10/2023 08:24

I wouldn't. My mother has cancer and she's been thin all her life. I lost a friend to lung cancer a few years ago and she'd never smoked.

sparklefresh · 22/10/2023 08:26

No! Cancer can happen to anyone. Obesity can happen to anyone if they get put on medication that causes it. It's just life.

ComeOutSun · 22/10/2023 08:34

It's not at all simple. I know two people in their 40s who had cancer - neither at all obese ever. One other who didn't have the healthiest lifestyle but had a genetic predisposition. There's a lot of luck in health.

I also know someone who has been very obese their whole life, smoked, all the risk factors - now elderly and never developed cancer or diabetes. Good luck on their part, especially with the diabetes.

fourelementary · 22/10/2023 08:34

Im not really convinced that many people would be so rude and ignorant to say directly they thought that someone’s obesity is the cause of their cancer.
Many cancers are just an unfortunate glitch in their body’s functioning and no direct cause would ever be known. Of course there are many factors that can be linked to certain types of cancer such as smoking and obesity. And a similar mechanism that causes T2 diabetes can also cause a cellular growth reaction to occur hence the cancer link (cells multiplying where they shouldn’t). So sadly if you’ve developed T2 diabetes as a result of your obesity there could be a link to your cancer. But that still doesn’t mean you’re “to blame” as there could be a multitude of other factors at play here… and you say yourself that your cancer is genetic so the odds were always stacked against you.

in general people should be aware of the damage that obesity can cause though as we as a nation are not healthy at all and our children are getting fatter too. It’s going to be absolutely devastating in decades to come when the impact of these lifestyle choices really begin to show…

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 22/10/2023 08:36

I guess that on average, if a person is very overweight and has certain types of cancer, it is likely that their weight and lifestyle have contributed to their likelihood of getting cancer. That doesn't mean that there aren't slim people with healthy lifestyles that get cancer, or that there aren't other factors (such as medication) which contribute to some people being obese or getting cancer though. It's best not to make such assumptions.

Ceit · 22/10/2023 08:49

Sorry you are going through this. I found the fact cancer treatment made me gain weight incredibly frustrating. Apart from anything else I couldn't afford to buy a whole new wardrobe. Only incredibly ignorant people would judge you. I think you're being overly harsh on yourself about the diabetes, for what it's worth. It's my understanding that there is a genetic predisposition involved even in Type 2.

AdditionalCharacter · 22/10/2023 08:53

So sorry you're ill Op Flowers

The thought would never cross my mind. those who do think that are judgemental pricks and should be ignored.