Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you assume obese people with cancer are to blame?

84 replies

Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 07:26

following on from the diabetic thread.

I was obese for years, then I developed type 2 diabetes. I only have myself to blame. I started taking my health very seriously, and took up sport, ate sensibly and lost more than 7 stone.

20 years later, I still have T2 diabetes, and can only blame myself. I also have cancer, which is genetic. I have now been on treatment for cancer for 18 months, which involves operations, chemo and a massive daily dose of heavy duty steroids.

I have put on more than 7 stone, and am obese again. I still eat healthily, I still play sport. But this obesity is related to my medication and is a normal and expected side effect. Lots of people I see at treatment are also on these steroids, and also putting on masses of weight.

There is a difference between the two times I have been obese, and the two illnesses! One I had some control over, one I have no control over at all

However, lots of people who don't even know I am diabetic, assume my cancer was caused by obesity, rather than my obesity has been caused by treatment for cancer

OP posts:
Willyoujustbequiet · 22/10/2023 10:42

No of course not. I'm not a knob.

50% of us get cancer. It would be ridiculous to blame people.

doublec · 22/10/2023 12:46

Oh gosh, poor you. Please don't blame yourself or think that anyone is thinking this of you, they're really not.

I did everything right - kept fit, ate carefully, took care of myself, rarely drank, stopped smoking over 20 years ago and I still developed breast cancer. This is entirely due to my genetics - not one, but two faulty BRCA genes (thanks Ashkenazi Jewish heritage) and something completely out of my control. As is your brush with cancer and your ill-health/weight gain.

You lost all that weight. Amazing! Well done you. Medication, not to mention life is cruel, so you must be so down that your weight is back to where you don't want it to be. But, the subsequent weight gain is not your fault. I will confess I am really worried about chemo and all the steroids and what havoc it might wreck on my body.

Be kind to yourself and stop wondering what others think. There's no point as you can't control this. You can however control your own mind and thoughts, so banish these doubts.

poetryandwine · 22/10/2023 12:53

No, OP, I would not not judge you. I wouldn’t judge your original obesity either as we know it is a complex, multifactorial disease. Though I admire your weight loss.

I’ve lost a nonsmoking friend to lung cancer so I particularly hate assumptions and judgments around cancer.

AnotherVice · 22/10/2023 12:57

Obviously obesity is a risk factor but it's not a clear cut cause no. I know steroids can cause weight gain but I find it hard to believe that gaining 7 stone in 18 months to be a normal and expected side effect in that, just how? What is the mechanism if there isn't excess calorie intake?

LeonBlack · 22/10/2023 12:57

It wouldn't actually occur to me to make the connection.

Heavy smoker with lung cancer? Yes. But if I heard a fat person had cancer I wouldn't assume weight caused it.

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/10/2023 12:58

I can’t say I’m really that invested in stranger’s health problems tbh. I don’t tend to think anything. But pretending that certain cancers have no correlation with lifestyle factors like obesity, smoking, heavy alcohol use, sedentary lifestyle etc is daft - they do, we know they do because clinical research has established it. Not everyone’s cancer will be a result of a poor lifestyle, but a poor lifestyle is responsible for a lot of cancers. You can call that “fault” or you can call it “causation”, the outcome is the same, just the latter is less inflammatory language.

SweetFemaleAttitude · 22/10/2023 12:59

Sorry to hear about your cancer OP. It has absolutely devastated my family. Cancer is a fucking cunt.

I would never associate cancer with people's body size at all. Cancer does not 'pick' people because of things they have done or haven't done. Even lung cancer. Not everyone who smokes even gets lung cancer.

So no. I think you're projecting a bit.

WillowCraft · 22/10/2023 13:02

Obesity does increase the risk of cancer and most other health conditions. However obesity is a public health problem rather than something that someone should feel personally responsible for. Modern lifestyles, corrupt food manufacturers, mental health problems all contribute. It isn't as simple as just exercising some willpower and prevent obesity. I wouldn't judge anyone for their weight. There but for the grace of God...

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 22/10/2023 13:13

No. But I don't judge people who are overweight because there are so many possible reasons why.

EightChalk · 22/10/2023 13:14

No, so many people get cancer at some point that I wouldn't even think about the "why".

theduchessofspork · 22/10/2023 13:18

Are you sure they do OP?

Obesity obviously increases risk of SOME cancers, but there are plenty of obese people who don’t have cancer and plenty non-obese that do.

Anyway no I don’t. I also know that lifestyle choices are complex, often rooted in socio-economic and psychological factors, and addictive behaviours are hard to change.

WrongSwanson · 22/10/2023 13:32

The people who will judge are judgemental pricks and their opinion shouldn't matter.

I was slim and healthy my whole life, gained a bit of weight (to top end of healthy BMI ) when waiting for a diagnosis and unable to exercise. Then treated with steroids and I ballooned in size. I mean, I went from size 10 to size 18 in 6 months. I couldn't recognise my own reflection. Thankfully I reacted really badly in lots of other ways too and so have come off them and lost the weight.

I really wish more people understood the savage side effects of medication like steroids.

Be kind to yourself

tothelefttotheleft · 22/10/2023 17:51

Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 07:26

following on from the diabetic thread.

I was obese for years, then I developed type 2 diabetes. I only have myself to blame. I started taking my health very seriously, and took up sport, ate sensibly and lost more than 7 stone.

20 years later, I still have T2 diabetes, and can only blame myself. I also have cancer, which is genetic. I have now been on treatment for cancer for 18 months, which involves operations, chemo and a massive daily dose of heavy duty steroids.

I have put on more than 7 stone, and am obese again. I still eat healthily, I still play sport. But this obesity is related to my medication and is a normal and expected side effect. Lots of people I see at treatment are also on these steroids, and also putting on masses of weight.

There is a difference between the two times I have been obese, and the two illnesses! One I had some control over, one I have no control over at all

However, lots of people who don't even know I am diabetic, assume my cancer was caused by obesity, rather than my obesity has been caused by treatment for cancer

What do you mean the cancer is genetic? That there is a predisposition to a certain cancer in your family?

nottodaytaverymuch · 22/10/2023 18:08

no never 🌸

Original poster
Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 18:25

tothelefttotheleft · 22/10/2023 17:51

What do you mean the cancer is genetic? That there is a predisposition to a certain cancer in your family?

Show quote history

The cancer has a genetic cause. It is inherited.

OP posts:
lljkk · 22/10/2023 18:27

um... basically I'm glad I don't have those problems (T2D or cancer or obesity). I don't find a need to have any opinion beyond that. Why would I?

OhDoSitDownAndShutUp · 22/10/2023 18:28

Hapshepsut Just wanted to wish you well, and hope that the treatment works. Best wishes x

WhiteHorseSpirit · 22/10/2023 18:30

I don’t, but YANBU many people do blame obese people for their obesity and think it causes all disabilities and illnesses they may develop. You over hear comments when seeing obese people on mobility scooters like “how can someone let themselves get so fat they cant walk?” And responses like “cause they want to live the life of Riley on benefits”

When the reality is most of these obese people on mobility scooters are obese because they cannot walk. Their being immobilised by disabilities causes their obesity….

Riverlee · 22/10/2023 18:31

Apart from maybe smoking and lung cancer, then no.

i hate it when you see articles that give you advice to avoid getting cancer - don’t smoke, don’t be overweight, d9n’t eat a lot of fatty foods etc. I usually can tick most things of the list, and still got cancer!

Cancer treatment made me out on three stone as well.

Anygoodidea · 22/10/2023 18:31

No. People who think like this are really bad people.

WhiteHorseSpirit · 22/10/2023 18:33

Even Matt Hancock said
“Finally, each of us, as individuals, we have a role to play and must take responsibility for our own health. Because even with the best efforts of the state and society, we can’t solve the obesity challenge without individuals taking personal responsibility too: this is a shared responsibility.”

BoobyDazzler · 22/10/2023 18:35

I do think (privately) that most obesity is down to lifestyle but appreciate that some people have health issues that mean there isn’t much they can do about it.

Gowlett · 22/10/2023 18:38

I would think along with he same lines as you, BD.

JenniferBooth · 22/10/2023 18:40

Cancer Research did a campaign on obesity and cancer a few years back A lot of people reacted badly and that was because a lot of the treatments, steroids etc cause weight gain. I read an article last week about a woman who sadly died of breast cancer and you could see what the steroids had done by looking at photos which were beside an older family photo.

I understand why CR did the campaign but they could have also reiterated as part of the same campaign that medications for the same illness can cause weight gain.

poetryandwine · 22/10/2023 18:45

AnotherVice · 22/10/2023 12:57

Obviously obesity is a risk factor but it's not a clear cut cause no. I know steroids can cause weight gain but I find it hard to believe that gaining 7 stone in 18 months to be a normal and expected side effect in that, just how? What is the mechanism if there isn't excess calorie intake?

@AnotherVice I occasionally need to do a short course of steroids. I ordinarily have a moderate appetite and luckily my BMI is fine. But 24 hrs into steroid treatment and I’m eating for England - my appetite is unbelievable. I also retain water which doesn’t help.

The steroids give me energy and I am never on them long or frequently. So I can make a point of exercising and then diet when I come off them. If I had cancer probably neither of these things would be possible.

I assume something similar happens to others.