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Original poster

Do you assume obese people with cancer are to blame?

84 replies

Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 07:26

following on from the diabetic thread.

I was obese for years, then I developed type 2 diabetes. I only have myself to blame. I started taking my health very seriously, and took up sport, ate sensibly and lost more than 7 stone.

20 years later, I still have T2 diabetes, and can only blame myself. I also have cancer, which is genetic. I have now been on treatment for cancer for 18 months, which involves operations, chemo and a massive daily dose of heavy duty steroids.

I have put on more than 7 stone, and am obese again. I still eat healthily, I still play sport. But this obesity is related to my medication and is a normal and expected side effect. Lots of people I see at treatment are also on these steroids, and also putting on masses of weight.

There is a difference between the two times I have been obese, and the two illnesses! One I had some control over, one I have no control over at all

However, lots of people who don't even know I am diabetic, assume my cancer was caused by obesity, rather than my obesity has been caused by treatment for cancer

OP posts:
Pleaseme · 22/10/2023 18:49

I do think we should all be more aware of the damage obesity does to our bodies. Straining the cardiovascular system, pressure on joints as well as cancer. I really felt the excess weight as I’ve gotten older. I’m in the overweight category. It creeps up on you.

JenniferBooth · 22/10/2023 18:51

Must say i dont recall Cancer Research speaking out against the gym closures, 🤔

Photographsandmemories · 22/10/2023 18:53

Nope. Heart disease, diabetes, maybe. One of my siblings hit the 160kg mark recently and his diabetes diagnosis isn't a shock, shall we say. I still wouldn't be cunt enough to tell him it's his fault, though.

WrongSwanson · 22/10/2023 19:00

JenniferBooth · 22/10/2023 18:40

Cancer Research did a campaign on obesity and cancer a few years back A lot of people reacted badly and that was because a lot of the treatments, steroids etc cause weight gain. I read an article last week about a woman who sadly died of breast cancer and you could see what the steroids had done by looking at photos which were beside an older family photo.

I understand why CR did the campaign but they could have also reiterated as part of the same campaign that medications for the same illness can cause weight gain.

Exactly. I was slim my whole life. Love exercise. Don't drink. Love healthy food. I ballooned on steroids. I'm back to a slim size now I am off them. Slimmer than most of the people who are being all judgy I expect. It's awful being seriously ill anyway, being seriously ill with an invisible illness and having everyone judge you because they assume you are struggling to walk because of your size - utterly bleak.

There need to be far more honest conversations around the prescribing of steroids. There are better and more effective treatments for my condition that don't come with weight gain but of course they are more expensive*

*my new meds do cause hair loss though. I assume the judgy fuckers are going to assume that's down to my lifestyle too? Or is it only when meds that are known to cause weight gain do cause weight gain that we are blamed for it?

RandomUsernameHere · 22/10/2023 19:00

No, absolutely not. Nobody has the "perfect" lifestyle anyway, if there was even any consensus on exactly what that is.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 22/10/2023 19:17

My sister was very obsese, she died from a cancer which is linked to obesity. Do I blame her? Of course I don't!!!

Do I wish she had gotten healthy and possibly avoided getting this cancer, abso-fucking-lutely!

Is it a given that even if she dropped 20 stone that she wouldn't have gotten cancer, of course not.

My family is slowly being wiped out by cancer, I've resigned myself to the fact I'll probably get it. I don't blame myself and if anyone is blaming you tell them to fuck off.

1 in 2 people will be affected by cancer. Thats a HUGE statistic. Lifestyle plays a role, but it's not the sole answer.

Sparklybanana · 22/10/2023 19:31

No. Wouldn't cross my mind because 33 to 50% of people get cancer at some stage. I would assume someone who clearly smokes and has mouth or lung cancer has caused it but I'd still offer sympathies because it's still shitty.
Diabetes 2 - yes I'd ssume its due to obesity.

Burnoutwhat · 22/10/2023 19:33

In answer to your question, no because I'm not a dickhead. I'm sorry you're ill I hope you make a recovery soon.

SplendidUtterly · 22/10/2023 19:38

No, but I do know of people who think like this though.
I got talking with someone a few weeks back and she was telling me about how her partners DD has cancer. She then followed up with words to the effect of "He is a rather large man so i'm not surprised he got it" 😐

nether · 22/10/2023 19:46

Obesity is a major factor in a number of cancers; there's no getting away from that. And as a population we'd be much healthier (in many ways) and there would be fewer cancer diagnoses if obesity were not so alarmingly common

But I wouldn't blame the individual. Cancer is a complete fucker of a disease, and it can strike even those with impeccable lifestyles. So for all I know, the person might be one of those who would have got it anyway.

And also I know full well that certain kinds of cancer treatment can cause the person affected to pile on weight. So they might have been a totally different size before their diagnosis. Plus of course exercise can become impossible for a while and might have to be scaled right back for protracted periods

Flowers to all those affected

Blanketpolicy · 22/10/2023 19:53

Some people are just arses and not worth the headspace.

If someone was a smoker I would obviously think there was a link to their lung cancer, but not my place to judge or blame anyone who is already going through such a hard time. All they would get is my sympathy and whatever support I could give them.

Bellyblueboy · 22/10/2023 19:54

I never make judgements about people who are suffering - I simply feel sympathy.

mondaytosunday · 22/10/2023 19:55

No. For one thing every person I know who has had cancer has been slim. I haven't noticed them gain much weight from treatment either (breast most common, but bowel, ovarian, throat and lung cancer).

newhere24 · 22/10/2023 20:00

I wouldn’t blame them, that is cruel. And at that point it is also too late, and the focus should be in the future.We can’t change the past.
However, obesity is a massive risk factor for cancer, and that is important to keep in mind for people with this risk factor. Its not aesthetics, its a real health issue, no matter if you are happy in your skin or not.

Umbrella1 · 22/10/2023 20:03

I believe if people blame smoker for getting cancer than yes if you obese you are to be blame for having cancer...but you know what cancer dont give a shit if you smoke/drink/eat. Cancer its a lottery you get it or you dont ...and i had cancer twic

maybe one day i will win the lotto too 😂

FedUpOfItA · 22/10/2023 20:06

I'm really opinionated on this matter and have quite strong views about how we should be dealing with it as a country.

However, it's not my place to judge friends or random people on the Internet, as I know nothing about your life. That's between you and your doctor.

bjjgirl · 22/10/2023 20:09

I think people know obesity comes with health issues - choosing to be obese is choosing to be at risk of health issues.

However, I don't assume people choose to be obese, it's not that simple.

Obesity is often caused by illness / medication and mental health illness - therefore I don't assume they are to blame for their illness but I do assume their weight is possibly a factor of it

weegiemum · 22/10/2023 20:15

I'm obese, but that is down, mainly, to years of antipsychotic medication. Id be dead of depression/suicide without it, and since all that started I've developed a neurological condition that means I can't really exercise so it's doubled down on the weight gain. I'm now seeing a personal trainer who works with people with mobility issues and it's starting to work - I just ordered my first size 26 jeans!

I'm also being investigated (ridiculously slowly, I'll be on the phone tomorrow!!) for a breast lump. My much lighter sister has been investigated at the same time!!

SarahLKelp · 22/10/2023 20:16

No it wouldn't cross my mind. Obesity can be as a result of medical conditions anyway.

MyCircumference · 22/10/2023 20:17

i would never blame anyone for getting cancer

Mukey · 22/10/2023 20:33

bjjgirl · 22/10/2023 20:09

I think people know obesity comes with health issues - choosing to be obese is choosing to be at risk of health issues.

However, I don't assume people choose to be obese, it's not that simple.

Obesity is often caused by illness / medication and mental health illness - therefore I don't assume they are to blame for their illness but I do assume their weight is possibly a factor of it

Just out of curiosity, would you apply the same logic to smokers who get lung cancer? I'm only asking as so many people (not you) say they would blame smokers for their cancer but not obese people.
But some smokers can have similar issues and that's why they smoke or continue smoking. Mental health issues and the fact it's an addiction. People seem to say you can't blame some obese people for their obesity due to food addictions and mental health issues. But with smokers they apparently seem to deserve their cancer as they knew the risks and yet continued to smoke.
So while starting smoking obviously isn't caused by anything initially, the reasons some people choose to continue to do it despite knowing it could kill them is complex. Obese people may have a bad day and choose to eat 10 bars of chocolate that evening. A smoker may choose to chain smoke an entire packet of fags. But it seems one is deserving of sympathy and the other isn't.
I think addiction and mental health issues should be applied equally when it comes to obesity and smoking in a lot of cases.

hattie43 · 22/10/2023 20:44

The only people I know who have died or are being treated for cancer have been slim and fit .

WrongSwanson · 22/10/2023 20:47

weegiemum · 22/10/2023 20:15

I'm obese, but that is down, mainly, to years of antipsychotic medication. Id be dead of depression/suicide without it, and since all that started I've developed a neurological condition that means I can't really exercise so it's doubled down on the weight gain. I'm now seeing a personal trainer who works with people with mobility issues and it's starting to work - I just ordered my first size 26 jeans!

I'm also being investigated (ridiculously slowly, I'll be on the phone tomorrow!!) for a breast lump. My much lighter sister has been investigated at the same time!!

My story is so similar. Psych meds caused gentle weight gain and neurological condition then steroids to treat neurological condition caused me to balloon in size Flowers

MyCircumference · 22/10/2023 20:48

i would never comment on someone's weight either

DisforDarkChocolate · 22/10/2023 20:50

I wouldn't think that at all. Life is too short to judge people like this.

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