To be annoyed that my MIL after 4 years isn't able to spell her grandson's name?

[chatenoire]

And yes it's a foreign name but it's only five letters :/

No, along those lines though!

I don't think so although she does make racist comments every now and then and my DH excuses her because "she doesn't know any better/ was raised that way". I do remind him that although our DS is as white as they come he's still mixed as I'm not white either (although my husband thinks I'm taking the mick on that as he thinks I'm white and look white and I just like to claim I'm brown).

Some people do genuinely struggle with this. DS has the easiest name in the world to spell, there is only one way to spell it and my brother still gets it wrong. My aunt has always spelled my name wrong and she is so lovely, there’s no way it’s malicious. Just a mental block for some. I can’t spell guarantee without autocorrect, no matter how bloody hard I try to learn it and remember it. It’s my mental block. Unless you think your MIL is doing it purposely to be hurtful, I’d let it go.

Many these responses are head scratching.

Many if these relatives must be spelling name wrong in Christmas or birthday cards. Surely you’re looking at the wrong thing?

I've got 3 kids 31, 29 and 12 and my mum spells all their names wrong. They are italian names but she lived in Italy for about 20 years so not really an excuse. We just laugh about it.

WTF have I just read. Your MIL and H are racist!

YABU. Is it occurred to you she might just have genuine difficulty spelling it?

It's not about how many letters it has. I have aphantasia and it really affects my spelling because I can't picture how the word is meant to look in my head, and for some reason a couple of my friend's names (Michael and Sheila) I can't spell for the life of me. It drives me nuts! I always have to look them up.

Maybe if she genuinely struggles you could help by gifting her a photo, to display somewhere close, of your son and make sure it has his name on it, so if she needs to write it down anywhere she could use it to refer to.

My dad could never spell my name even though we are all English. It is a simple name but he always put the fourth letter as fifth.

That's funny. Bless him 😂😂

This isn't can't, it's won't. Personally if someone can't even be fucked to learn by name, I don't think I'd bother with them.

I don't think so although she does make racist comments every now and then and my DH excuses her because "she doesn't know any better/ was raised that way". I do remind him that although our DS is as white as they come he's still mixed as I'm not white either (although my husband thinks I'm taking the mick on that as he thinks I'm white and look white and I just like to claim I'm brown).

This is your real issue, OP. For your own husband to deny your racial heritage is straightforward racism.

'Not knowing any better' is not an excuse for racism. As you say MiL does make racist comments then the misspelling of your DC's non-English sounding name is part of a pattern of behaviour. It's less easy to write that off as mere scattiness, possible undiagnosed dyslexia, or any manner of other excuse, once the bigger picture is taken into account.

The misspelling on its own is no worse than a mild irritant, but it's a symptom of a much bigger problem.

Ugh I'm so sorry! What an ignorant woman. Is she doing it on purpose?
My Nan used to get me and a male cousin mixed up as I have the feminine version of his name but she was very old, had 20 grandchildren and didn't mean any harm. On the other hand, half of my husbands family cant be arsed to spell my name correctly. It's in the top 5 baby names so hardly unusual. I find it very very rude. Most Christmas cards come to '"Husbands name" + wife' now. Being reduced to just '+ wife' drives me mad!

My eldest has a 6 letter name which is an unusual spelling of an old fashioned rarely-used name. Though to me they are different names as I pronounce them differently - they have different vowels in them. Several friends still use the wrong version after many years and a family member did too for a long time, though in that case I suspected it was their preferred choice, rather than an error.

My dad had a mental block with one of my sisters kids names. It is very similar to a traditional Scottish name (with two letters transposed) and it became a family joke. They lived halfway across the world and this was pre-video calls etc, so he only really ever met her face to face half a dozen times.

It even made it into his obituary.

I have a cousin who I've known all my life and if ever I have to write his name I'm always stumped because I can't remember if it's Steven or Stephen!

My daughter is Macy, my in-laws without fail every year send her a card saying Maisie. It's not even the same name ffs

My mother used to cal my eldest son the name of my cousin's son. Talk about not concentrating!

Give it a year or so and then ask your child to bring it up with her himself.

"Nanny, why do you spell my name wrong?"

Oh my goodness 😂😂😂 Your mum must have been about ready to kill him when she realised the mistake.