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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that my MIL after 4 years isn't able to spell her grandson's name?

94 replies

chatenoire · 21/10/2023 19:45

And yes it's a foreign name but it's only five letters :/

OP posts:
stayathomer · 22/10/2023 07:03

I spent years misspelling my best friend’s name- it flies against the way you pronounce it! I’d get it right by luck every so often but more usually wrong. Bf says 50% of the time people spell it wrong and she’s made peace with it

wellthatwentwelldinnit · 22/10/2023 07:41

My MIL of 30 years still spells my name wrong. I have a relatively common name, always spelt one way unless people are try to be 'unique'. She always spells it wrong. Think Sharon being spelt Sharen or similar.

Ignorant.

CurlewKate · 22/10/2023 07:44

I have two nieces-Katherine and Catharine. I quite often get it wrong-even after 20 years.

Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 07:45

wellthatwentwelldinnit · 22/10/2023 07:41

My MIL of 30 years still spells my name wrong. I have a relatively common name, always spelt one way unless people are try to be 'unique'. She always spells it wrong. Think Sharon being spelt Sharen or similar.

Ignorant.

maybe dyslexic rather than ignorant

CurlewKate · 22/10/2023 07:45

"Only you know if this is intentional or not"

Why the f would it be intentional? Surely there are better ways of pissing someone off!

happylittlesloth · 22/10/2023 07:48

CurlewKate · 22/10/2023 07:45

"Only you know if this is intentional or not"

Why the f would it be intentional? Surely there are better ways of pissing someone off!

You'd be surprised.

FallingAutumnLeaf · 22/10/2023 07:48

If the majority of her spelling is good, she's being awful.
However, if she, like me, has spelling issues it may not be deliberate.
So, which is it?

AnnieKayTee · 22/10/2023 07:50

My mil does this. Son has an Irish name one letter can be an E or an A. We spell it with the E she always spells it with the A. Absolutely winds me up. If its wrote in a text I always make sure I text back his name spelt correctly in my reply but no, makes no difference.

Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 07:50

FallingAutumnLeaf · 22/10/2023 07:48

If the majority of her spelling is good, she's being awful.
However, if she, like me, has spelling issues it may not be deliberate.
So, which is it?

even if the majority of her spelling is good, she can still have specific issues. I am dyslexic, the majority of my spelling is good, but I have far more problems with short words than long words.

Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 07:51

AnnieKayTee · 22/10/2023 07:50

My mil does this. Son has an Irish name one letter can be an E or an A. We spell it with the E she always spells it with the A. Absolutely winds me up. If its wrote in a text I always make sure I text back his name spelt correctly in my reply but no, makes no difference.

and confusing e and a can be the single hardest problem for many dyslexics

AnnieKayTee · 22/10/2023 07:52

@Hapshepsut no not dyslexic. She just believes her way is the correct irish way.

Original poster
chatenoire · 22/10/2023 07:54

Bananaaa · 22/10/2023 06:40

Does she spell other things wrong in general? My MIL often writes my eldest’s name wrong. He’s Elliot but she will write it as Elliott, Eliot, even got Elliotte in a birthday card once! But generally her spelling is not good so I know it’s not intentional.

Not that I know of! She definitely spells her older grandchildren correctly

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 22/10/2023 07:55

3dogsandarabbit · 22/10/2023 00:23

Maybe she has a mental block when it comes to spelling his name. I have a friend whose son's name can be spelt with either one or two 'n's. I can never remember which way it is spelt.

Then refer to something where it's written correctly and copy that?

@chatenoire YANBU.

Unless there's SEN involved she's being rude.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/10/2023 07:55

Does this come with a clear disdain for a "foreign" name or does she just get it wrong? I think if it's the latter, I'd just accept it. DNephew is 7, I have to really think how many aa's and ss's are in his name and it's just a typical English name

NancyJoan · 22/10/2023 07:57

It’s lazy. We have an Elliot and an Isabelle in the family. I have to check the spelling every time before I write cards, so that I don’t get it wrong.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/10/2023 07:57

CurlewKate · 22/10/2023 07:45

"Only you know if this is intentional or not"

Why the f would it be intentional? Surely there are better ways of pissing someone off!

I dunno, op seems pretty pissed off so I'd say if it's intentional it's working. Then big innocent eyes when it's pulled up.

LizzieSiddal · 22/10/2023 07:57

I’m dyslexic and find spelling lots of names difficult, for instance I still have issues spelling my SILs surnames and I’ve known him 12 years. I’m not stupid, I’m not ignorant, I’m dyslexic. However when writing it down on a card, on email, etc, I will always check it is correct! I’d never not check the spelling of a relatives name as that would be rude and lazy!

maryberryslayers · 22/10/2023 08:01

Same as mine. She's goes to lots of trouble to make him home made cards but none of them actually have his name on!

CurlewKate · 22/10/2023 08:02

I honestly don't know anyone in RL who is as precious about names as some Mumsnetters. It seems very strange to me- the banning of certain shortenings and pet names....My ds has a name with a million shortenings and people used all of them until he was old enough to express a preference and settle on one. Sadly not the utterly adorable one I wanted. He's grown up now and lets me use it occasionally as a special treat.

mrsed1987 · 22/10/2023 08:04

My name is 3 letter. I had relatives mispell it when I was an adult. I just chuckled at it

Stonemaiden · 22/10/2023 08:04

I have a relative called Michael and it took me till a friend pointed out that A comes before E in the alphabet and also in the name, before I could spell it without double checking. I have similar blocks with the work broccoli 😂

muchalover · 22/10/2023 08:05

People spell my name wrong in emails all the time. It's in my email to them and my email address.

It's a standard name with one letter less.

RosesAndGin · 22/10/2023 08:08

My dh can't even pronounce the long version of my (normal English) name. There is an 'A' in the middle that he drops so he's banned from using it!
Its a nine letter name and he's dyslexic so he sticks to the shorter version for spelling as well.

sep135 · 22/10/2023 08:09

TizerorFizz · 22/10/2023 00:54

My DMs friend didn’t like the name her grandson was given so she gave him another name. She used that when talking about him. Grandparents can be very odd and rude.

Mine did the same for my name. Apparently she kept it up for a year Confused

Stonemaiden · 22/10/2023 08:16

RosesAndGin · 22/10/2023 08:08

My dh can't even pronounce the long version of my (normal English) name. There is an 'A' in the middle that he drops so he's banned from using it!
Its a nine letter name and he's dyslexic so he sticks to the shorter version for spelling as well.

Betting it's 'Lizbef'?