To get takeaway food instead of cooking Xmas dinner?

[HelloHilda]

I know it's early, but I've been thinking about it recently.

I've never liked Christmas myself/feel apathetic towards it, but since having children I've tried to make an effort for them, but I'm sick of it. My oldest child is 13, and for the past 13 years, it's been nothing but stress and annoyance.

What is the point of christmas when I'm the only one who makes any effort? I'm also the only one who doesn't enjoy it. My husband is useless and doesn't cook, and we don't have a lot of close relatives to invite over, so every christmas it's just me and the kids and my husband eating the food I spent all day cooking. They just gobble it up and show no appreciation.

Also, I don't eat meat but I cook a whole turkey and ham every year for them. I'm not going through that this year. I don't see the problem in just ordering chinese takeway or Dominos pizza. We hardly every eat out, so maybe this would be a treat. I'll buy a cake and some sweets, and that will be it.

I don't see the point in "making christmas special" for people who show me no appreciation, and they eat fast anyway, so it doesn't even matter what the food is. As for decorating the house, I don't care. They can do it if they want.

Goodness, all these food suggestions. The constituents of the meal, M and S being classier than a takeaway etc are irrelevant.

this is about challenging family dynamics. Your husband appears to contribute little and you feel unappreciated by everybody. I assume your children are a little bit older in that you say they are ungrateful and do not help.

I would say that the first thing is a proper discussion as a family. About how you’re feeling. But also about what makes Christmas special for them and what does everybody value about the day. You can then make a plan where everybody helps but everybody is doing something that they enjoy getting out of Christmas.

It sounds like are serious communication problems in the house and these need addressing before you decide what kind of takeaway you are going to get. The best thing about Christmas day as a family is the excitement, atmosphere and happy mood. If you don’t have that, then the food you eat is irrelevant.

I’d have loved that over Christmas dinner when I was a kid!!

Just get the food from M&S. It's so easy that even I can do it

I met a family at work once who had Chinese takeaway every year, it was a family tradition. So sweet, I've always fancied doing that.

DH (and the kids to an extent depending on their ages) are the problem here, not what you do or don't cook for Christmas Dinner!
I make a massive deal out of the food on Christmas day however my family appreciate the food I cook the other 364 days of the year (its not that many days really, DH cooks as well before anyone dives on me!).
The not decorating stood out to me more than the food, if the eldest is only thirteen how old are the younger one's? It's sounds like instead of looking for ways to make your life easier you would rather go nuclear and suck all of the joy out of it for everyone to prove a point.
I don't blame you if that's what you want to do but maybe instead of doing something regrettable and everyone having a bit of a flat Christmas you could start talking about expectations now? For example on tell the eldest now that on the 18th Dec (or whatever date suits you!) That they are responsible for decorating with the help of their dad or next oldest sibling. Explain to everyone that you are fed up of cooking on the day so you will be getting takeaway or m&s food as a treat so it doesn't come as a massive shock on the day.
I don't think you are wrong wanting to do it your way but I think the way you are going about it isn't nice for the kids.

I’m sick of spending all day cooking an Xmas dinner that no-one is that fussed by so we are going to the harvester this year!
the menu looks good-you can have an Xmas dinner if you want but there are also other options, no cooking or washing up and by the time you’ve spend a fortune on all the Xmas food, it’s not much more expensive.

Also, no stressful xmas food shop!
Why not go out? Or if everyone says they want the Xmas dinner at home then make them all help!

I think Xmas dinner is overrated but do enjoy spending the time together eating.

Mine do! They love it and in fact have 2! One at their fathers and one at mine across Christmas and St Stephens Day. Last year I was due to have them Stephens Day and gently suggested something else as they'd would already be having the full roast at their Dad's. Cue a chorus of 'noooooooos'. They love my Christmas Dinner as do I so it's happening regardless.

Last year we all had pizza for our Christmas lunch and the year before that we all had a massive fry-up!!

Christmas Day shouldn’t be wasted by spending £100’s on food and spending 4-5 hours stuck in the kitchen to make a meal that is eaten in 20 minutes and is a fight to get the children to even eat.

We used to make a huge fuss over the Christmas dinner but after years and years of dealing with the cost and the stress we decided we’d rather opt for the easy life and spend our money on presents for the children and spend our time with the children and not in the kitchen.

I’d get everyone together and explain that you’re feeling unappreciated. I wouldn’t suggest getting a takeaway instead but I would say that I’m not willing to put myself through the same experience again and ask how they all think Christmas gift shopping, decorating the house and the dinner should be approached this year. Order M&S dishes, family cooking session etc? Then agree who is managing each bit. Get the kids involved and back your husband into a corner to make sure he pulls his weight. At least then if he fails to do it properly you won’t be held wholly responsible in your kids’ eyes.

I don’t think the takeaway is going to solve the issues that your facing (and to be honest I get a feeling that you’ll be pissed off when they just say “yay pizza” and things carry on as usual.

I think in your case the better option would be to try and get them involved in making dinner (whether it’s a full Christmas meal or not).

“ok this year - dad you’re in charge of spuds.
13 y/o is going to make pudding etc”. Grab one of the foodie magazines that does a whole timed Christmas Day thing and divvy out the chores.

You have a DH issue. I'd have a seething resentment towards a useless man.

Get him to do the prep the night before. We do the spuds in fat and put them in trays in the garage the night before so we can just put them in the oven

DC in charge of dessert.

Or just order the ready made from M&S.

As a multitude of PP have said make sure there is a take away open.

I have a family who don't really like roast dinners (I know!!) but as I love Christmas dinner I always choose to make it. I go all out and it's always enjoyed but never requested or expected.

** even when we go to family for Xmas (every other year) I'll do Xmas dinner on Boxing day.

Have you ever looked at the Cook website @HelloHilda ? They deliver really good frozen meals, or you can buy them in some smaller supermarkets. I would buy some really posh pizzas to stick in the oven on the day. A takeaway could turn out to be stressful if it's late, cold or doesn't turn up.

For some of us, X mas is about family time. Not a competition and bragging rights. But you do you and enjoy out Christmassing all your friends, just don't forget to post it all online.

Turkey AND ham is a lot of work, unless you have loads of children. I'd just do roast chicken