To get takeaway food instead of cooking Xmas dinner?

[HelloHilda]

I know it's early, but I've been thinking about it recently.

I've never liked Christmas myself/feel apathetic towards it, but since having children I've tried to make an effort for them, but I'm sick of it. My oldest child is 13, and for the past 13 years, it's been nothing but stress and annoyance.

What is the point of christmas when I'm the only one who makes any effort? I'm also the only one who doesn't enjoy it. My husband is useless and doesn't cook, and we don't have a lot of close relatives to invite over, so every christmas it's just me and the kids and my husband eating the food I spent all day cooking. They just gobble it up and show no appreciation.

Also, I don't eat meat but I cook a whole turkey and ham every year for them. I'm not going through that this year. I don't see the problem in just ordering chinese takeway or Dominos pizza. We hardly every eat out, so maybe this would be a treat. I'll buy a cake and some sweets, and that will be it.

I don't see the point in "making christmas special" for people who show me no appreciation, and they eat fast anyway, so it doesn't even matter what the food is. As for decorating the house, I don't care. They can do it if they want.

I wouldn't spend my time cooking for a bunch of ungrateful cunts. Tell DH it's his turn to sort out dinner, you'll be spending the day on the sofa with a gin and box of quality street.

Kids don’t give a shit about Christmas dinner.

Do it! I would, if I lived somewhere that could get takeaway delivered on Christmas Day and my DH was an ungrateful twat.

That's what I'm doing this year and the kids prefer just to a Christmas dinner.

My two once has spaghetti hoops on toast for Christmas dinner. We had a major family crisis going on, and that was just about all I could muster. Another year, by popular demand we had pizzas. They thoroughly enjoyed both meals.

Honestly, the world does not stop turning if people don't eat a roast on 25 December.

But, OP, you need to work on your husband and children, they are the problem, not what you eat at Christmas.

Do it! It shouldn't be a miserable day, which is what it sounds like.

Who cares about tradition if you get no help or thanks?

As long as everyone has a nice time, how you achieve that is irrelevant.

If it is unappreciated then don't do it. I know a few people who get take aways.

But if a bit nearer the time you think differently, then you could cook the meat on Christmas Eve. I normally do this, it cuts down the stress on Christmas day. And then do a cold buffet on Xmas day (and Boxing day) and just enjoy your day.

Why haven't your kids been bought up to show basic levels of curtesy?

Ask your DH to sort it this year

Check whether takeaways are open - probably not.

I'd get M&S ready-meals to bung in the mic - classier than T/As.

And tell that lazy fucker to learn to cook

Last year my kids requested home made sushi for Christmas dinner, was great. Find Christmas dinner to be an over rated roast generally.

I love cooking however I have always and will always do the m&s Xmas Dinner it's so much easier and my kids love it so I'd always do it but honestly if I didn't want to do it and no1 cared I'd definitely do a pizza HOWEVER we did Xmas aboard one year when we just had 2 children and it didn't feel like Xmas so make sure your sure ... we are vegan and get the vegan options Xmas Dinner can be amazing meat free ,xx

M&S ready made. Iceland also do really good frozen joints, and any 'sides' you may want. Shop bought Christmas pudding. Ive never been a fan of 'Christmas tradition', cooking a feast then spending the day knackered. What on earth for? So many other options now so you can do minimal cooking then relax and enjoy your day. & whats with lazy useless husband, why is he inept? Sounds like you're martyring yourself when nobody asked you to, then seething because you feel unappreciated. Which is pointless in itself

Fuck thankless effort. Someone else can cook or you can start a new tradition of takeaway. Sounds good to me.

We don’t have a traditional meal for Christmas, so it’s our tradition to eat at a restaurant or to travel.

Yanbu. My kids are so fussy and won’t eat a roast but we usually go to family for Xmas and I have to cook them something different. During Covid was the only year we’ve been home just us and I just cooked up a load of frozen party type food and put out cheese and crackers etc and we grazed all day. It was prob my favourite Christmas yet. Who decided everyone has to eat turkey and Brussels sprouts one day a year? Celebrate how you want, eat what you want and if your family don’t like it, they’ve plenty of time to learn how to cook a roast and treat you for a change x

We had curry for Christmas dinner for most of my ungrateful teenage years and I loved it so really don't think this is going to ruin the OP's kids' lives. It wasn't even a takeaway, it was M&S ready meals. Then me and my mum would have some yule log and my dad would have a little one person Christmas pudding because he was the only one who liked it.

DH (who is default cook in our house) cooks ridiculously elaborate vegetarian roast dinners these days, I've been clear that there's no expectation but he likes doing it, it's not Christmas for him if he doesn't spend half the day hiding in the kitchen.

Christmas should be lovely for everyone. If you don't enjoy the faff and you aren't even getting the gratification of people appreciating all your hard work then don't do it. If you're feeling nice you could let them know in advance so the people who feel they need a bit of roast flesh for a lovely Christmas can make plans of their own.

Sounds yummy and memorable.

I think there’s nothing wrong with not going with tradition and doing what suits you for Christmas but it sounds like you have bigger issues than Christmas dinner. I’d be concentrating on those.

Do it! But call up the restaurant/take away place before hand to ensure you do not have to book in advance.

While I agree that there are some more deep issues here, I’d like to toss another suggestion into the mix: the “nibble feast”.

I bump up our grocery order the week (or two!) prior to Christmas with some soft mozzarella cheese, some cured meat, some easy things like premade rolls that are just pull from the fridge and bake (we love them), some sweets, and a lot of fruit and veggies such as melon, grapes, tangerines, cucumber, baby carrots, etc. plus some dip and something sparkling or fizzy.

A few days prior I prep some of it; then the whole family usually goes to bed a bit early Christmas Eve and since I love Christmas and the lights myself I’m up anyways. I quickly clean and prep the fruit and veggies, slice fudge, chop cheese into chunks, etc. and toss it in small bags or containers in the fridge.

When we wind up wanting food Christmas Day, we all pitch in super quick to set it out on the table, just basically dumped into small mountains on a tray or two or in smaller bowls. None of it is very perishable! We grab little plates and munch to our hearts’ content; we can easily take it to the living room and watch a Christmas movie; the little ones can focus on their new toys; there are NO pans to scrub; and we don’t have to fret over waiting for the roast OR hoping that reservations/takeaway comes through like we’d hoped for. Nobody even has to leave the house or answer the door.

It’s been this way for years now, not because we’re not appreciating a good meal or I don’t enjoy cooking, but rather because as much as I love a good meal I don’t like being tied down on Christmas Day and would prefer to grab a long shower and a good book after the festivities. It’s gotten to the point where each family member makes a suggestion in the months prior and we are so excited to have our variety spread. And when someone gets hungry later on? Plenty of leftovers!

Maybe try a family discussion about it before the day.

My teens and DH would be upset without a traditional Christmas dinner but they are very appreciative. Especially since the one year I pointed out to DH that he was totally taking it for granted.

Liking your family does not equal letting them treat you like a servant. That's totally unfair, OP is obviously stressed and fed up, what normal person wouldn't feel resentful at being treated like that.

Do what suits you OP. Explain why, it might help open their eyes a bit.

In general, people can eat whatever they like on Xmas day.

This isn’t about more than Xmas day food though.

Your husband is the main problem here. He doesn’t pull his weight and doesn’t show any appreciation for what you do. Your child is just copying what he sees dad his dad do or rather doesn’t do.

The issues won’t be solved by having a takeaway and in your shoes, I’d want my husband to change and for my children to see good role models and be in a happy home.

Tell hou husband he needs to change. Speak to your son about basic manners. Just giving up isn’t fair on your son.

If things don’t change, I’d be having a think about whether you really want to be with a husband that makes you feel so negative about something that could be lovely.

You husband "doesn't cook". What - ever??

It depends if you all like Xmas dinner.

If you’re all a big fan then have the roast but pull it right back and just have the minimum amount, get as many pre-made things as you can and get DH and the kids to pitch it.

But if none of you are bothered about having the roast then definitely get the takeaway.