People not saying "please"

[amiboverd]

AIBU to think people should say please when asking for something?

Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I find it grating when someone asks for something and don't say please.

Example - someone I don't know on a Facebook group asking me to pick something up form as shop and post it to them (after I had offered to do this for someone else) and they said something like "if you see one you could get another and I could pay?"

It also happens at work. People send me things like "Article below for feedback".

I must sound like a such a bore but AIBU? Would you say please in these circumstances and would be be annoyed if someone didn't?

@novalia89 i have found this too worth Marketplace but if you're giving away something for free then I think I'd reply to the person who was polite too!

@Potofteaplease I do see what you mean

@PriOn1 The second, I don’t understand. How does “article below for feedback” require a please? Because the person is asking you to spend time and effort on giving feedback, which in English culture requires a "please".

Even if it were the other way round, and the attached article was giving feedback, the message needs to be softened a little "you may be interested in the attached feedback". Abrupt messages with no please or thank you is the way we indicate displeasure.

If it's a genuine question then the please sounds rude to me.
First you have to establish whether the thing you are asking is possible, and then ask the favour. Putting the please straight away is a bit presumptuous if you ask me.

I kid you not, I actually contacted the BBC about this, when my DCs were young and they watched CBeebies. I remember on one programme in particular there were around twenty times people were asked to do something and not once was the word please uttered! I think my youngest was newborn and I was sleep deprived, but it drove me nuts. What a terrible example to set our little ones! If you ever watch CBeebies even now it still happens a lot.

The first one is definitely rude - but the second isn't.

Hmmm this might just be me but I always think saying please when asking for something makes is sound like a foregone conclusion that the person will do it.

So for instance I would say to my husband...

'can I have a tea too please?' - as I assume he'll say yes

But if I'm genuinely asking something like...

'would you mind if we met at my house?'

I would not say please but would say thank you if they said yes.

I'm not sure why I feel like that 🤔

YANBU

its rude, and the people i know i do try to correct that behaviour