I can't be the only one this happens to?

[queenofayrshire]

Woke up this morning, laying in bed and having a nice relaxed scroll through Mumsnet. Come across the thread about which generation had it the hardest. This somehow led my brain to think about how one day I will be dead. Usually I'm quite chill about dying, don't give it much thought, no control over it, when my time is up, it's up etc. don't think too deeply. However not the case this morning.

I got this overwhelming gut punch in my stomach realising that I'm going to die one day. And that the people I have been surrounded by all my life, will no longer be with me and the things I enjoy doing, I'll not be able to do again. And I'll be alone for eternity. And me and everyone else I know will be forgotten about in 100 years, as if we didn't exist. I feel this overwhelming panic and helplessness. I know it'll pass, I'm 31 and have experienced this before.

But does this happen to anyone else? Like I know death is inevitable but I keep it at arms length but once in a while the reality of it hits me. Anyone else?

Ugh what a way to start a Friday

Yes!! I am exactly the same op. I have to push it to the back of my mind and not think about it as it is overwhelming.

Get your phone out of your bedroom at night so it's not the first thing you look at, it's not good for your mental health

Well this is deep 😳 yes the older I get sometimes I get these moments too it does scare me but I manage to shake it off for another day. I hope your day gets cheerier.

I am actually usually quite a cheery and positive person, I enjoy life a lot of the time. But oh man, it's hit me this morning.

My own death was never really an issue for me until I lost my father last year. Now my grief for his death is shadowed by more fear and horror of how my own children will
grieve for me and the enormity of heartbreak for them.
I do not want them to experience what I have this last year, that breaks me.

Yup definitely! I look at pics of my great grandparents and wonder if I'm the only person that ever thinks about them. All their life struggles and problems were nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I'm nearly 60 and I cried the other day as I'll never get to meet my great grandchildren. I don't even have grandchildren 🙄

I'm also very very conscious that I've lived most my life now and if I'm lucky, have about 20 years left.

That freaks me the fuck out!

It's a peaceful thought if you are fretting about something, such as work. It can help bring perspective.

I agree with this.

It's part of being human - we are aware of our own mortality. I can relate to your stomach punch thoughts, definitely went through a series of them a few years ago (I'm 45 now)

What you are feeling Is likely normal it does stop you in your tracks though.

As each birthday arrives now, I find myself thinking another closer to my time being up, its a fleeting moment then I change my mindset to think of more positive things.

The ones I worry about are those I am leaving behind, how will they cope etc 🥲

I'm glad I'm not the only one that has this (but also not glad that you are all having to experience the feeling also ). But as PP said it is an unavoidable part of life and I suppose we have to do what we can to enjoy the little things in life, but that's obviously so difficult when facing loss, illness, poverty, abuse etc.

It really does stop you in your tracks, it's like this awful helpless feeling, like I'm drowning and my brain is desperately scrambling for a solution, but there's not one so just have to sit with the feeling until it passes.

Oh god, yeah! The thought of my daughter grieving for me or going through hardships without my support is so upsetting. We're very close and the thought that she'll one day walk this earth without me, makes me want to scream. But of course I would prefer that than the other way about so remain grateful.

It’s something we all have in common! None of us has forever and that brings tremendous importance to each and every day. It’s what makes life so special.

Yes, I get this too. Sometimes the fear of death is just overwhelming. I can't get my brain around the idea of everyone else carrying on and I won't be here. Where will I be? What happens after death freaks me out too. Eternity is a terrifying concept!

Rationally I think that it's just like before your born. Nothingness. And god knows how long we were floating about in that nothingness. But then my brain is like, 'no there must be something more' 😅

First of all, you won’t be alone for eternity, you’ll be dead. You need to realise that your current consciousness will not exist. Your panic is essentially that consciousness trying to wrap itself around that idea. The more you can explore and sit with the idea of death, the better off your life in the here and now will be. Try Becker’s ‘Denial of Death.’

ive thought about it a lot lately as my friends mum is on palliative care, other friends mum has stage 4 cancer. My school friends parents are all dying or already passed and it’s made me aware we are only 20-30yrs behind them. It is depressing, I try not to let my brain go there.

Well if it makes you feel any better I believe in reincarnation and am sure that family groups reincarnate together so for example one day my grandson may well have been my grandfather.

When I suffered an early miscarriage my daughter (aged 2) said oh mummy the little girl is sad her baby is gone - 2 days later I lost the baby. She then said she gets her baby back next time we go on an aeroplane (and yes I thought it was just baby chattering) but I turned 6 weeks pregnant the day we went on an aeroplane next.

Yes I have been getting this since I was 7.

I never really gave it much thought until I was in my late 40s and then bam! My mortality catches up with me. I'm 50, my Mum died at 69 and I can't stop thinking that I may have less than 20 years in me. My dd is in her late teens, so about her lifetime left - that has wizzed by

Oh and I've just realised, this will be my 50th Christmas! How the fuck did that happen

Yes. In the nicest possible way, it’s called growing up!

look at this way - if you knew it would never change and we all lived forever, would you be so happy about each day?

I get this, but more than anything, it freaks me out to think that if I know I'm dying- say I have an illness or something and I have awareness that I have only days left- what a horrible, cruel feeling it will be to say goodbye to everyone I love, knowing I'll never see them again. It'n unspeakably awful.

It’s the very fact that I’ll be forgotten in another 50-100 years that makes life easier for me. I don’t stress or worry about much because I know it won’t matter when I’m gone. The vast majority of us are just passing time while we’re here so you have to make the best of it. For me that means not worrying about things I have no control over. I hope I’m here for a few more years but if I died tomorrow I wouldn’t know about it. Things would just end for me. I don’t really fear dying, it’s going to happen one day. And at that point it won’t really matter how many years I had here. So I just live each day as it comes.