Just had the weirdest day at work! Is it me?

[CrazyDiamondz]

i had a student working with me today and the day started off like any other. However! When the first client arrived (a client who is normally very chatty and pleasant with me) he acted like he couldn’t stand me. Visibly rolled his eyes when he saw me and was just really off (but nice to the student). When he left I said I didn’t know what was wrong with him as he’s normally so nice! Student joked it must be the weather.

Second client arrived - another one who I normally get on well with and he was ok but still a bit off compared to normal and made a joke to the student about drawing the short straw having to work with me!

3rd client came in and was laughing and joking as normal to begin with but then started getting really stroppy saying “didn’t you wake up properly this morning? What’s WRONG with you?” Etc etc! I wasn’t going anything different to normal!

Anyway, a couple of clients later a man came in who was absolutely lovely to me last week … started off ok and then suddenly he thoroughly disliked me, started saying how great our company was - shame about some of the staff (said with a nod to student implying me), asked if he’d be seeing me next week then said “oh great 🙄” when I confirmed he would. I was really on a downer at this point as all this was in front of the student and god knows what she thought. These are people I see weekly and have always had a good relationship with - infact most of them specifically ask for me when making appointments. The cherry on the cake was a client came in and randomly said “do you actually know what you’re doing this time?” 😱 I said “are you mistaking me for someone else? I can’t recall a time I’ve ever done anything wrong?” And he looked at student and laughed saying “maybe, maybe not” ??!!

Student then clearly felt uncomfortable as she made her excuses and left!! I’m so confused! I thought maybe a couple were showing off to student but all of them?? I honestly can’t recall an incident in which I’ve upset or angered any of these people?! I’ve never had a day like it. It was so bad it was like they had all been replaced by different people - I was half expecting an Ant and Dec style “reveal” that it was all a wind up.

If as so many are saying, it was not meant in a bad way eg banter, to my mind they could be told how it affected you OP: does your workplace ask clients for feedback and if so can you ask reception staff to get them to complete a feedback form? Shame it's a one-way process though, and they can't be told how their banter has affected the OP. Also who knows what the student is saying on their review of the placement, that may also paint the OP in a negative light especially if the student is new/young and may not see the banter as banter and believe the knobs!

Is it possible you've just misread the situation and they were all being dry and sarcastic? Like it's quite common to joke to the student 'oh you've drawn the short straw working with this one' if you think your relationship is solid enough it's clearly a joke. I'm wondering if because they happened to all do that you were then a bit more sensitive than normal and didn't see it that way. Then the student was in an awkward position when you didn't see that's what was happening?

My first thoughts are that you had a young and pretty student with you and in typical male fashion, they were trying to impress her with their extraordinary wit, because, you know, 20 year old hot young girls just love a middle aged or elderly man.

If you work in a health care setting, make sure you get your revenge by not being so caring if administering needles, being a bit rough if doing prostrate exams, or if you are assessing their health, look concerned and give it a bit of hmmm, interesting....ok, let's keep an eye on this, or, do you ever get any pain here? and a side tilt of the head, look a bit upset when they leave and say, take care now, won't you <sad face>

Do you have difficulties in recognising humour?
Or is it possible you in fact have a resting bitch face, previous interactions were simply "neutral", and you only noticed a difference when there was a pleasant friendly student with you?

OP, that sounds thoroughly bizarre and surreal. Must have been quite upsetting for you, I hope you're ok! There are only a few explanations that feel plausible to me - maybe the student was attractive and they were making mawkish attempts to impress her by putting you down. Maybe they were just joking around but you took it the wrong way because of the repetition. I don't know. Sometimes the world is just a weird place. I'd discuss it with the clients next time and ask if they have issues or concerns and explain that it made you uncomfortable. I don't really think behaviour like that from them is acceptable in such a setting. If they have a genuine problem they should discuss it privately with you, or go to someone else rather than berate you in your own workplace, and if there's no problem and it was just "banter" they should consider that it's not appropriate to embarrass you in front of a student for fun.

Are you a personal trainer at the gym?

well you are the common denominator, is it possible you were unconsciously acting different in front of your student?

It really depends on the setting, I don't think anyone can comment without a general idea of what you do

Did you get permission for a student to be there? I would be miffed if I walked in some settings and wasn't warned there was a student there

Are you sure you didn't act differently with the student there? Maybe you were more formal / standoff ish

I do hope you never work in a role which requires confidentiality as you have a shit understanding of it. It’s not just about not giving names.

if you think posts on Mumsnet as always anonymous because no one uses their name you have astonishingly naive.

I was imagining you were a chiropist but l don't think you go over week.
They were doing this to draw the student in thinking it was funny. Shows they feel comfortable with you to slag you off a bit but not realising everyone was doing the same.
Sounds like you might be in lreland as a very lrish way of carrying on when you get on well with someone.

Honestly, apart from one example, every line you’ve shared would be written by a sitcom writer told to portray a typical British jokey interaction.

This:

”started saying how great our company was - shame about some of the staff (said with a nod to student implying me)”

You’d even tell the writer it was too much of a cliché.

I don’t disagree with the “old men showing off to young female” theory. BUT… I don’t think it was only that. I think it’s driven by it being a group not just a pair.

Put down sarcasm humour is a way of showing that you feel comfortable enough with someone to know that they won’t take it the wrong way. If you joke that someone is one of the bad staff members to their face, you are saying that you don’t think that at all - and you are confident enough in your client relationship with them to “get away with it”.

I’m not dismissing your feelings - a whole day of it gets old! But it really sounds like normal chat to me.

Is it some sort of personal service that might mean they feel more self conscious in front of a young female student? Even just something to do with their body? If so they may be making shit sarcastic jokes because they feel awkward.

@CrazyDiamondz hope you have better day today and a good weekend. 😊

do come back and tell us how it goes next week if the student is not around and you meet the aforementioned clients again. Perhaps you can even ask one of them what was yesterday all about. It could be helpful

If it's weekly I reckon it must be something like physio or occupational health for people who are struggling.

To the pp who suggested counsellor counsellors do NOT have students observing!! That would be highly unethical and a breach of confidentiality.

I, too, think they were trying to impress what sounds like your younger student by negging you. Revolting behaviour and I'm really sorry you had that experience, I would have been deeply annoyed/hurt.

Did you ask permission for the student to be in attendance?
Because you haven’t actually written what service is being provided it’s hard to fully get a feel of why they may not have liked it. If it’s anything to do with the physical body, or the mind or financial details I can see why your clients may have been pissed off.

If everyone in this scenario is British they will probably not have said anything and resorted to being sarcastic. I have had a couple of scenarios where student medics were in attendance and it had a poster informing if patients did not want them in whilst the appointment was held to inform the reception. You bet I said no because I held a position within the University where these students were studying and there was a small chance they could have ended up in my office.

Sounds like they have been unhappy with your service for a while and for the 1st time had an audience (albeit a student) to vent to.

My dad used to be like this if we ever went to an appointment where there was a student. It was really weird and very awkward for the person he was seeing. It was more he was thrown by the student and went into attack mode which came out in a sarcastic way, I would talk to him about it and he would just say oh she knows I’m joking but maybe she didn’t. It was definitely nerves on my dads part.

Well, the obvious change/variable is the presence of the student, so it's likely to be her being there that's made them all act this way. It sounds like nearly all the clients were men, and the student was female and presumably quite young, so I agree with pps that maybe they were showing off.

Can you not say even vaguely what you do? It would help to understand if people were feeling angry and defensive (if, say, you saw them about money/legal/personal issues), or vulnerable (if you're some sort of bodyworker), or something else.

I agree with the pps who say it was either showing off to the student with a bit of sarcastic "humour" or negging and it can be shrugged off as I think you just had a run of bad luck and after the first one you were feeling sensitive, particularly as the student was sitting there.

If they've got something to say they should say it outright and not in veiled hints.... and I think I'd definitely ask if further remarks are made if they are joking or if they have a serious feedback point to make. You can say it in a lighthearted way too.. "too put my mind at rest."

Hopefully it was a one off. You know your worth so take confidence from that.

are you a psychologist?

Is it possible you were speaking down to or appearing to patronise the student? You could have been unconsciously acting differently because of their presence and they were trying to be nice to the student by putting you in your place.

This is exactly my thought too!

I‘ve lost count of how many times I’ve had work experience/trainees in and someone has made jokes about the pulling the short straw or do what I say not what I do etc.

Its just a way to put the student at ease.

But if you think they were being serious and not joking then the issue was obviously you.

You must have been acting differently and off yourself for them ALL to react in a similar way.

This

Apologies if you’ve already been asked this but did you ask them if it’s OK to have a student in with you?

😂 sorry, I read OPs comments but no one else’s and it was literally the comment before mine!