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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just had the weirdest day at work! Is it me?

111 replies

CrazyDiamondz · 19/10/2023 14:18

i had a student working with me today and the day started off like any other. However! When the first client arrived (a client who is normally very chatty and pleasant with me) he acted like he couldn’t stand me. Visibly rolled his eyes when he saw me and was just really off (but nice to the student). When he left I said I didn’t know what was wrong with him as he’s normally so nice! Student joked it must be the weather.

Second client arrived - another one who I normally get on well with and he was ok but still a bit off compared to normal and made a joke to the student about drawing the short straw having to work with me!

3rd client came in and was laughing and joking as normal to begin with but then started getting really stroppy saying “didn’t you wake up properly this morning? What’s WRONG with you?” Etc etc! I wasn’t going anything different to normal!

Anyway, a couple of clients later a man came in who was absolutely lovely to me last week … started off ok and then suddenly he thoroughly disliked me, started saying how great our company was - shame about some of the staff (said with a nod to student implying me), asked if he’d be seeing me next week then said “oh great 🙄” when I confirmed he would. I was really on a downer at this point as all this was in front of the student and god knows what she thought. These are people I see weekly and have always had a good relationship with - infact most of them specifically ask for me when making appointments. The cherry on the cake was a client came in and randomly said “do you actually know what you’re doing this time?” 😱 I said “are you mistaking me for someone else? I can’t recall a time I’ve ever done anything wrong?” And he looked at student and laughed saying “maybe, maybe not” ??!!

Student then clearly felt uncomfortable as she made her excuses and left!! I’m so confused! I thought maybe a couple were showing off to student but all of them?? I honestly can’t recall an incident in which I’ve upset or angered any of these people?! I’ve never had a day like it. It was so bad it was like they had all been replaced by different people - I was half expecting an Ant and Dec style “reveal” that it was all a wind up.

OP posts:
PlaidCushionProductions · 20/10/2023 07:04

Im guessing they were men of around retirement age+, you work in some form of healthcare/social care and they thought they were being funny, trying to impress your student. The more nervous/out of comfort zone they feel, the more ‘banter’ they have. It’s them, not you.

flustereddriver75 · 20/10/2023 07:06

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 20/10/2023 06:45

Sex worker?

Do they have students that shadow people? 🤯

Beautiful3 · 20/10/2023 07:07

If she was young slim and pretty, then they were showing off. Think I'd be dry with them next week.

FabFitFifties · 20/10/2023 07:13

Older men? If so, showing off to the student. Sad isn't it. Prewarn the next student.

Gettingbysomehow · 20/10/2023 07:17

I am always being mistaken for a colleague of mine. We look nothing like each other whatsoever. My patients need to go to specsavers.

Lucyintheskywithlove · 20/10/2023 07:17

When I read your OP, the scene I pictured was a hairdressers, but no idea where that came from as it seems so random.

I have days where I overthink how people are being with me.
Sometimes we just become over focused on it.

I'm not saying you imagined it, but maybe if the first client was having a bad day and you picked up on their mood, it may have made you more alert to pick up/ look out for anything the subsequent clients may say and alter how you interpret it.

Lucyintheskywithlove · 20/10/2023 07:20

Lucyintheskywithlove · 20/10/2023 07:17

When I read your OP, the scene I pictured was a hairdressers, but no idea where that came from as it seems so random.

I have days where I overthink how people are being with me.
Sometimes we just become over focused on it.

I'm not saying you imagined it, but maybe if the first client was having a bad day and you picked up on their mood, it may have made you more alert to pick up/ look out for anything the subsequent clients may say and alter how you interpret it.

Just seen that you see them weekly. It won't be a hairdressers then.

DarkDarkNight · 20/10/2023 07:22

Were they aware of the student beforehand? Were they asked if it was ok or told they didn’t have to have the student present? It maybe made them feel awkward and annoyed. Maybe you felt uncomfortable and were hyper aware of things that normally wouldn’t bother you.

But equally I agree that they could have been attempting to show off to the student and it went a bit wrong.

MrsPerfect12 · 20/10/2023 07:23

I think I'd be asking directly it's the same next week.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 20/10/2023 07:24

If it’s weekly physio then it may be too things. Discomfort with the student as most will have to disrobe to some extent and may be more self conscious with a younger person in thr room.
Second, while you might be lovely it’s not always a comfortable process. The comments could be more down to your robust manipulation technique

starfishmummy · 20/10/2023 07:29

It was either the student or your mood was coming across and not in a positive way.

ShyTed · 20/10/2023 07:31

I think perhaps they were “trying” to be funny. Sounds like sarcastic humour to me and that’s what I would have taken it as. I would have said back something like “oh yes good job “student” is here to keep me right!!”

also could be “Trying” to make the student feel comfortable. Maybe THEY felt a bit uncomfortable having another person there if it is a personal service offered?

MrsMorrisey · 20/10/2023 07:31

Why don't you just say what your job is?
It's anonymous forum 🤦‍♀️

Themerrygoround · 20/10/2023 07:35

@CrazyDiamondz so was the student your and pretty. ?
It’s the first thought that came to most posters is they were all showing off . Yes all
of them .
I also would be dry with then
next week .

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 20/10/2023 07:36

Showing off would be my thought but ask them for feedback next week.
”Hey John, last week was a little strange, you made a few comments that were very unlike you; is everything ok?”

Flyingthroughtrees · 20/10/2023 07:43

SoOpenitsbrainshavefallenout · 19/10/2023 14:49

It’s possible that they all know and like you so well, that they are all making the same joke

This is the only thing I can of. Were they all men? Lots of men I know would would act like this and consider it ‘banter’. They seem to think putting each other down and insulting each other is funny, and would definitely take the opportunity to do this in front of a student.

MyCircumference · 20/10/2023 07:45

i think they were just putting on a pesona in front of a stranger
perhaps another time introduce them without the student there first

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 20/10/2023 07:45

As other posters have said, they were trying to impress the student to your detriment.

Antst · 20/10/2023 07:47

Yup, this is dirty old men being dirty old men. Clearly the kind who had their heyday in the mid-2000s when showing contempt to women was the way to get dates! They would have thought they were impressing the student.

Alopeciabop · 20/10/2023 07:48

PlaidCushionProductions · 20/10/2023 07:04

Im guessing they were men of around retirement age+, you work in some form of healthcare/social care and they thought they were being funny, trying to impress your student. The more nervous/out of comfort zone they feel, the more ‘banter’ they have. It’s them, not you.

It’s this. And I’m assuming you’re British? Unfortunately we have this collective thing where we go sarcastic whenever we’re trying to lighten the mood. It’s really annoying. I have lots of friend from different countries and once you notice it you realise how negative it is. For instance someone pays someone a compliment and someone else shouts “ohh are they paying you to say that! Hahahaaa….” And it’s like can you just let them have a compliment. I imagine it’s the same in this case. I too read these comments about you as coming from middle aged men - put down banter. But generally I’d say it was the student’s presence and an inability to not say something dry or sarcastic.

Alopeciabop · 20/10/2023 07:50

That made no sense - I mean I have lots of friends from other countries where they don’t do this and have questioned why we do. Which brought it to my attention

Pudmyboy · 20/10/2023 07:53

Is there any way of asking for feedback before you see them again? Do you have to see them again? I am not sure I would want to!! And if they are as dissatisfied as they imply maybe they should see someone else. Certainly I would be keen on finding out if they genuinely feel dissatisfied and why. Hopefully it is because they are all just being knobs OP

MrsJellybee · 20/10/2023 07:54

It's likely British humour and a backhanded compliment to you, and/or they were trying to impress your student.

Testina · 20/10/2023 07:56

“made a joke to the student about drawing the short straw having to work with me! “

I read this and thought exactly what @Alopeciabop said: “British humour” - low sophistication sarcastic put downs. That line is an absolute classic example.

Apart from the one example (third client) who actually had a go at you for waking up wrong, all the examples sound like typical “funny” sarcasm. Perhaps for client 3, you understandably reacted negatively to yet another round of sarcasm-funny 🙄 and that was the reason for the direct rudeness?

I think the clients were reacting to the student in a fairly typical way, and very quickly as it’s it out of the ordinary you were sensitive to it - and thus clocked so much of it!

user1471462634 · 20/10/2023 07:57

@Alopeciabop Don't worry, you were clear first time round.

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