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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just had the weirdest day at work! Is it me?

111 replies

CrazyDiamondz · 19/10/2023 14:18

i had a student working with me today and the day started off like any other. However! When the first client arrived (a client who is normally very chatty and pleasant with me) he acted like he couldn’t stand me. Visibly rolled his eyes when he saw me and was just really off (but nice to the student). When he left I said I didn’t know what was wrong with him as he’s normally so nice! Student joked it must be the weather.

Second client arrived - another one who I normally get on well with and he was ok but still a bit off compared to normal and made a joke to the student about drawing the short straw having to work with me!

3rd client came in and was laughing and joking as normal to begin with but then started getting really stroppy saying “didn’t you wake up properly this morning? What’s WRONG with you?” Etc etc! I wasn’t going anything different to normal!

Anyway, a couple of clients later a man came in who was absolutely lovely to me last week … started off ok and then suddenly he thoroughly disliked me, started saying how great our company was - shame about some of the staff (said with a nod to student implying me), asked if he’d be seeing me next week then said “oh great 🙄” when I confirmed he would. I was really on a downer at this point as all this was in front of the student and god knows what she thought. These are people I see weekly and have always had a good relationship with - infact most of them specifically ask for me when making appointments. The cherry on the cake was a client came in and randomly said “do you actually know what you’re doing this time?” 😱 I said “are you mistaking me for someone else? I can’t recall a time I’ve ever done anything wrong?” And he looked at student and laughed saying “maybe, maybe not” ??!!

Student then clearly felt uncomfortable as she made her excuses and left!! I’m so confused! I thought maybe a couple were showing off to student but all of them?? I honestly can’t recall an incident in which I’ve upset or angered any of these people?! I’ve never had a day like it. It was so bad it was like they had all been replaced by different people - I was half expecting an Ant and Dec style “reveal” that it was all a wind up.

OP posts:
stillavid · 19/10/2023 15:21

Could you ring one of them up as a follow up and ask for feedback?

Passepartoute · 19/10/2023 15:33

Did you start any new approach or initiative with these clients last week?

mrlistersgelfbride · 19/10/2023 15:35

How very bizarre OP.

Showing off to the student is the obvious one.
Any emails been sent round, anyone spreading rumours?
Something on your face, bog roll attached to your shoe, a new perfume?

I'd be baffled and upset too. Hope things turn around for you.

Alargeoneplease89 · 19/10/2023 15:40

Are they all older and guys? I'm going to say it's the Peacock attitude, want to look "teen cool" in front of the student.

loseweightpleasegod · 19/10/2023 15:41

Mental health nurse? Dressing clinic nurse?

Clients are fickle. Don’t dwell on it. Was the student young and pretty and the clients mostly males? Who knows why the clients acted like they did. The only variable is the student so we need to know the constants to ascertain a reason.

itsmylife7 · 19/10/2023 15:57

Livedandlearned · 19/10/2023 14:52

I think they were showing off in front of your student as pp said.

100% this.
Especially if she was young and added bonus of pretty.

I've witnessed this behaviour before.

CuteCillian · 19/10/2023 16:13

Bad breath? An annoying piece of spinach in your teeth? Wearing a badge with a political/controversial opinion?

Wildhorses2244 · 19/10/2023 16:13

Was it really clear from prior conversation that the student was a student and not someone who was supervising your work?

Even if the communication about them being in was clear were there any in person cues that could have confused the situation? You’re female and student of male? You’re younger and student is older? You’re in jeans and student is in a suit?

Sometimes people are shy about providing feedback direct to a practitioner but will do so to a supervisor or colleague. Could that have happened here?

WHALESURPRISE · 19/10/2023 17:32

Very weird! Unless you were unconsciously doing something weird, I think it has to be as pp have said, they were showing off in front of your student!

I'd be subtly questioning them about it next week!

Fulshaw · 19/10/2023 17:37

If they were men and the student was female and attractive, that would explain it. Was that the case?

Indoorcatmum · 20/10/2023 05:57

A lot of men do this. They think they are building a rapport with the other woman, but they just look like fools.

If I had to put money on it, that's what it will be.

waistchallenge · 20/10/2023 06:16

I agree with @Indoorcatmum .

AncientBallerina · 20/10/2023 06:24

It’s just as likely the student was young and male, the clients are male and they are engaging in some sort of macho male bonding with the student. I’ve had a male colleague do this to me when I was interviewing with him.
Either way I’m pretty sure it’s them and not you.

stayathomer · 20/10/2023 06:28

Do you have a receptionist? Any chance something was said to people on the way in? Someone said about asking for feedback, I’d definitely do that, hope you’ve a better day today

luckylavender · 20/10/2023 06:29

Any gossip going round about you that they've heard.

Aquestioningmind · 20/10/2023 06:29

Either showing off or they were absolutely fuming that a student was there (assuming they hadn’t been pre-warned?) and taking it out on you.

flustereddriver75 · 20/10/2023 06:37

Did the student spend any time alone with them before the session started?
Could he/she have been gossiping about you or implying you'd made mistakes?

Alternatively, were they warned and asked permission about the student?

It could be that they were feeling vulnerable because instead of the 1-1 session they expected (where they could relax and let their guards down) they were being observed, which creates a different dynamic.

Pipsquiggle · 20/10/2023 06:39

I have said YABU as without context of what job you do or industry you're in it's really difficult to comment

ConnieTucker · 20/10/2023 06:41

Summerhillsquare · 19/10/2023 14:53

Are they all men? In which case they are showing off to the student, they like having power over you

I think this too.

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 20/10/2023 06:45

Sex worker?

supersop60 · 20/10/2023 06:52

It must be something to do with the student, since that was a major change in your set up.

Pipsquiggle · 20/10/2023 06:53

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 20/10/2023 06:45

Sex worker?

I was thinking sex worker or dentist

Mamette · 20/10/2023 06:55

It’s because of the student, as that’s the only difference from every other time.

Unfortunately you may not have as good relationships as you had previously perceived. For whatever reason they were all happy to throw you under the bus in order to signal to the student that they weren’t aligned with you or “in your camp”.

Very disappointing and upsetting behaviour by the clients, I’m sorry you had to experience this OP.

CrochetedOwl · 20/10/2023 06:59

Are you a carer? We get this with our clients - it’s a form of showing off. Don’t over think it.

Fortheloveofgodwhy · 20/10/2023 07:02

I’m not there but everyone of those comments could have been said in jest in front of the student, because they like you? and maybe you are feeling over sensitive and reacted in a way that you might not normally.

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