To think that the CMS are fucking useless?

[Inthefuckitbucket]

why is it that yet again, women (and yes, the majority are women) are let down by feckless, useless men and the Child Maintenance Service seem to actively facilitate this through their total incompetence and ‘can’t be arsed’ attitude?

my son’s father has not paid a penny to his living costs for a long time now. He has blocked me on everything and so I can’t even communicate with him. I finally (finally) put in a claim with the Child Maintenance Service and they came back very quickly saying they were unable to find him. I called them today and was told that without his correct address, they can’t do anything. Yet they have his correct full name, date of birth, correct previous addresses, employer details and national insurance number.

surely this can’t be the case? Can it?? Would I be unreasonable to contact my local MP? Do you think it would make a difference?

I hate them but from a slightly different angle. My twat of an ex contacted them after alienating my son against me and convincing him to live with him. They contacted me a week later about the claim and didn't want to hear a single word about that TWAT not paying me for 18 months before this.

They also calculated my wage wrong (by 2k) so I have to pay more to cuntychops.

The amount they text and send letters and threats has nearly pushed me to a nervous breakdown. I feel that ex got to not pay me after hideous financial abuse, and now I have to pay him even though I earn £90,000 less than him 🙃

I just dont understand why they don't use their powers for all these cunt dad's in the way they did with me? He gave them my address and within a week they had accessed my wage (through HMRC), told him exactly what I must pay (which meant I had no fucking bargaining power with him because he knew what he could get the big fat Gollum), and when I didn't he could press a button saying he wanted to move to the thingy where they would take it directly from my wage. Which I would have to pay more for so I've had to pay him.

I absolutely fucking detest him and I wish him nothing but bad luck. Twat.

I don’t understand how they work at all @DungareesAndTrombones. They are extremely reluctant to use their considerable powers (and the powers they COULD use are immense) and I do not know why. Too much expense? Too much effort?

It entirely depends who you speak to.

I worked there briefly and got told off as apparently I made the rest of my team look bad as I did more cases one week than the other four put together.

They have considerable powers but there’s just zero will to use them. Even the people training me didn’t know about some of the powers - I knew because of my ex. One of the people who trained me was genuinely surprised that they don’t need a court order to take money from a bank account. The trainer didn’t know that - the general staff don’t stand a chance.

I was too scared to wait it out and make them take it from my wage too so have paid him the exact amount. Maybe if I just fucking refused to engage things would have worked out better.

Also getting through to them is a test of stamina! I'm going to try again tomorrow, see if I can do anything about twatbags arrears.

@YetMoreNewBeginnings this has certainly been the case for me: the person I spoken to the week before last was very nice, but gave me (what I now know to be) incorrect information, whereas the person I spoke to last week was utterly awful, but did give me some correct information.

The CMS is clearly not fit for purpose. I know that I feel bitter and angry and this will be clouding my judgement, but I do wonder that if it was men that were being so adversely affected, rather than women and children, things would be different.

It would be totally different.

it would also be different if it was socially unacceptable to not pay for your children.

I’ve said it many times. The fact the current system for RPs in benefits came about as a solution to the accumulation of debt owed to the Sec of State by non-paying NRPs says it all about the political ignoring of the issue.

Until it’s unacceptable to Steve, Mick and Dave that their mate Billy financially neglects his children nothing will change. Until Mary and Bob are embarrassed that their son Nick doesn’t pay nothing will change. And until Sarah, Diana and Emma see Paul as undateable because of it nothing will change.

My ex refused to pay until his senior officers bluntly told him they’d look very firmly down on him. He never missed a payment after that because their opinion mattered to him.

Until it’s socially unacceptable it won’t be an issue that anyone political has an interest in.

Yes! Should shun them. I went on a date with a "man" who told me about him being a limited company with his mum on the books and he claimed to pay his ex more than he should but he'd reduced it twice and even then thought he was paying too much. Didn't give him a second date. The attitude underlying that behaviour is undatable and unacceptable and just horrible.

It isnt fit for purpose. It completely relies on compliant men.

No one is going to shun them and there are actually quite a few groups on Facebook who support NRP helping them to avoid paying maintenance

That’s exactly my point. People don’t see it as a big issue unless it happens to them or someone they love.

People are always genuinely shocked that my exes parents have contact with me and my girls (and now his ex wife and their children) and not him over his behaviour. Even people who know how he behaves still have the “but he’s your son” attitude and are baffled when they say “and they’re our grandchildren…”

And while friends, girlfriends, parents and siblings don’t see it as an issue politicians won’t either.

@YetMoreNewBeginnings truth. People who claim self employed and pay a ridiculous £7 per week should have to submitt yearly bank statements. It's simply not good enough to avoid paying for your own DC. When people claim benefits you have to submitt many documents in order for your application to even be process let alone authorised.

Did you apply to the CMS when your son lived with you?
Also not sure why you think you shouldn't support your son and pay CMS now he doesn't live with you anymore. Your ex's earnings are irrelevant, just like they would be in a woman's case. Parental alienation is very subjective and recent thinking is that it's not really a credible concept.
Sorry maybe I'm missing something but you sound just as bad as the NRP men!

“I am broken by this system. Mentally, physically and financially. There is very clear data that supports the fact that this ‘system’ co opts in economic abuse. The foundations of this ‘system’ were built on a patriarchy of Christian ideals that permeate the ‘service’ today. It is not fit for purpose. We need a louder voice. We need our children to be put at the centre. It is not happening. Thanks for your input so far. I’d love to hear more stories and get everyone behind a campaign for change. It is desperately needed.”

Just posted this on another thread. They are a disgrace. Sorry to hear about your difficulties. Keep records of absolutely everything. Wherever possible- when they send you a letter saying you can go to Independent Tribunal- take that option. SSC2 form. You will get no justice in this system and you will be driven mad and made ill. Best of luck

They are absolutely fucking useless. My daughter will be 18 in a few weeks. I have spent 16 years trying to get the CMS to do their job with no result.She gets the grand sum of £50 a month off a man with an income of several thousand a month
If these men were avoiding paying tax HMRC would be down on them like a ton of bricks but they avoid paying support for their children and nothing happens.

I've just made a post about a CMS petition

Shocking system. With an easy work around if they could be bothered to implement it.

They are incredibly crap. To add insult to injury, we taxpayers all pay for this institution to be run in such a crap manner.

The piss taking is endless. I get to work myself into the ground and he gets to take the piss endlessly. And the state sanctions his constant piss taking at the expense of two minors.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4993360-cms-petition

That scheme where you have to pay as a resident parent for them to take the money off your children’s father at source is a joke.

He won’t pay.

So both he AND I have to pay for them to take the money. Money is taken off me for this service.

That is money which my children are not getting. Money which could be put towards new shoes, brownies, fruit and veg etc.

A father gets to financially abuse their family and the state gives them a helping hand, instead of fully facilitating the resident parent. The resident parent who is also caught with the 24/7 work too.

It is a raw deal. A raw deal which is mostly encountered by women.

A Dad here and yes, they are shite. Set up everything in January to pay CM as circumstances for my kiddies changed. Within 48 hours my ex and I were notified that my youngest (15, and at school, obviously) was no longer eligible, and they lowered the the payments. I then had to put her back on.

I then had two identical letters delivered on the same same day detailing the CM I had set up, as it should be, with the correct payment for the children.

Few weeks later - today - my ex gets an email stating that the case is closed as she is no longer the main carer of 'the (there are two) child' from July LAST YEAR, despite me only setting it up in Jan this year? You can imagine the grief and worry I got from her.

Good thing is, is that everything is logged in the 'portal', so I can see how I initially applied to pay. Have also saved these off .

They really are utter twats.

This. Child maintenance would be so easy to sort out of there was just a political will to do so.

You can bet your last £1 that if it were men being shafted like this, something would be done.