Organising a parents night out (school) - AIBU

[Hellenabe]

Our class is friendly but do nothing outside school. Completely fine. Im close friends with a few and see them separately.

Ages ago i was tasked with organising a night out before because there were new parents but all were busy. No one ever tried to organise a night out before or since (again fine). All said busy (but in a nice way), some obviously not wanting to interract. I was tasked to sort it out as I'm quite friendly but I think it made me seem a bit desperate trying to get parents together. I don't need more friends if im honest.

I read the mumsnet threads where parents now say they feel left out of different school run groups but a few of us want to do something together so do i again put it out to everyone? I don't want to offend people but at the same time its annoying that no one organises anything so I now prefer being with the ones who are more available. WWYD?

But I agree it might be a bit embarrassing to be the one saying "Okay who wants a night out!" and no-one replies.

But as others have said, I think saying "We're going to X on y date, feel free to join us" is fine and it's not a problem if no-one else takes you up on it.

Around half of my daughters class are in our WhatsApp group and most of us are very friendly and I would definitely count them as friends. However organising a night out is always difficult and we never get everyone to go for various reasons. Arrange what works for you and your friends (if you want to) and out the invite open to everyone else to take up if they wish. If you don’t want to, don’t. I’d others pressure you to do it, ask them if they can because youve got a lot on, or just refuse.

I’m so glad all my kids schools are normal and the parents exchange pleasantries at the gates and birthday parties, because class mums night out sounds horrendous!

obviously I’ve made friends with other mums and been but it wasn’t under obligation it was because we all got on really well

I’m a class rep in Year 1. I’ve just organised an evening meet up. I basically messaged the 10 parents I’m close to, found a date the majority of them could make and then sent a casual message to the remainder of the class just saying “class drinks …. Pop in for a drink if you are free” . No food organised, no big tables reservations. Just nice and relaxed so if people don’t come it doesn’t cause any stress

If parents feel left out of school run groups their not going to go on a night out, they would be worried about being sat alone feeling uncomfortable. If you want to make people feel included maybe just have chats in the playground and build it from there.

Why don’t you try organising a parents only activity as a fundraiser? I and a couple of mum friends organised a byob quiz night in the school hall, each team had to pay to enter, open to all parents who could bring their friends if they wanted. Tbh, it got quite messy, no idea who won but it was one of my top nights out ever (low bar here) and I think we raised about £50 or something for the school and it didn’t cost anyone very much.

@Showdogworkingdog we had that but the only two who came but had nannies so both parents came. I couldn't go.

I don’t think it’s weird at all, OP. I’m still friends with mums I met in reception and our kids turn 20 next birthday! We first met when someone sent a message out suggesting a night out!

https://www.facebook.com/reel/615875507198578?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V

Thought this might make you laugh!

I think it’s a great idea OP and I wouldn’t think you are desperate/had no friends if you sent an open invite.
I would find a date that works for your close friendship group, then write a casual message on the whole class group that you and some others were recently talking about some Christmas drinks and it will be at X times on X date and would love for anyone to join. Job done. Whoever comes, comes. Those who don’t want to attend, don’t.

So we just went with the select few rather than putting the invite out in the end. I felt bad but we had a great time! Honestly no one else ever organises anything so i thought why bother.

Good choice. Next time arrange it with your group then maybe throw it out wider “a few of us are going to x place at y time for a drink, feel free to join.” You might get another to join .

In my experience, there’s a lot of people who complain that they hate the cliques or close groups at school gate that don’t include them, but don’t accept invites or join in (particularly in the early years when friendship groups are new). I have come to the conclusion it’s not that they want to join in, it’s that they don’t want to make new friends and seem to be actively annoyed by others having made friends.