Called aside in the office today...

[whatty]

I work in London in a hub office (many businesses under common ownership using the same space) in a senior role (I am female in my 40s). It is a hot desking set up- sit where you like when you come in. Some areas in the office have music playing & some don't (some context!).

At the end of my day today, a senior male colleague (50s) from another business asked to have a word with me. I have met him a few times at sessions where the businesses have been collaborating/ doing leadership workshops. He didn't remember me, so introduced himself.

He then proceeded to tell me that as I had been on calls all day (11.30-6.30 with a short lunch break) that I had been distracting people around me, and "many" people (from his area of the business) had reached out to him mention that they had found me distracting. For info- I had a headset on, and was working with colleagues on budget documentation & talking to my team re: work they were tackling.

He recommended that I use a pod/ room in future if I was going to be on lots of calls. I questioned whether there was a policy re: working in silence/ being a silent space- and he admitted that it was just different approaches to working, and that the team he works in tends to avoid being on calls in the open plan. He then said he hoped that this conversation would be taken in the way in which it was intended. I was confused to be honest- so I said it wasn't clear how it was meant. But that I'd consider his feedback.

When we left the room where we had his conversation, it was clear that those from his business around me were all aware that I was being "pulled aside".

I was livid if I'm being honest- and upset too. I am really busy at work, have been doing long hours, and felt that he had no right to tell me what to do in a shared office space. I accept that I am tired and emotional though, so perhaps should just leave it and move on. However- I also feel like he wouldn't have had that conversation with me if I was male. And that I wouldn't be unreasonable to pull him aside/ talk to him when I next encounter him with some measured feedback of my own.

What do you think? Would I be unreasonable to stew on this- and think up some direct home truths? Or should I keep quiet in the office and on the feedback front. TIA for any guidance you can offer!

And I do think he would have had the same convo if you were a man

Well this thread has taught me never to work for an employer who uses these shares space set ups! I've always worked in regular offices ..open plan ...no 'pods'. Where people make calls and other people somehow manage still to work!

He was right, probably felt awful about it, and handled it well. You were livid because you were embarrassed. Gender is frequently relevant in the workplace but it isn't here.

Hopefully you now feel better about it having had a good night's sleep.

Thanks for all the feedback. I was clearly in the wrong. Just one point of clarification- I didn't book a pod for the day, as I needed multiple screens, rather than just my laptop for the calls I was on... Either way- I should have booked an office and will do in future. Seems a bit miserable to come into the hub to see people around the office and have some meetings in person- but spend the majority of the day in a cupboard. But times have obviously changed, and I need to get on board.

Thanks again for the your comments

But if you're on calls all day op you'd not be talking to anyone else in the office anyway!

It isn't anything to do with shared offices, many normal open plan offices have pods. Particularly with the move towards hybrid work and video calls.

Just because your office is dated doesn't mean it isn't the norm.

I think you're embarrassed. Just use a pod.

He was a good manager to have the conversation with you and i dont think it's worth arguing about just because you think you're senior enough that other people should put up with distracting behaviour. If it escalates to senior senior management it will be more embarrassing for you, wont reflect well on you and the parent company/building management will come down on his side if they are a good company. Possibly with an even more embarrassing email about how to behave on a public space which a lot of people will know was aimed at you.

Dont let embarrassment make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

@whatty Seems a bit miserable to come into the hub to see people around the office and have some meetings in person- but spend the majority of the day in a cupboard.

But you would only be spending the time tucked away while you were on calls anyway, so it isn't like you were engaging with the people around you regardless.

In a co-working space, it all comes down to what everyone else is doing. If everyone is on calls all day, then it's entirely possible to tune out the noise, focus on your own calls and get on with work. But in this case, it sounds like you were the only one on prolonged calls, and the rest of the office were generally working quietly. Which is indeed incredibly distracting for everyone else, and your colleague did the right thing in flagging it to you.

I do believe this whole issue has changed massively since Covid and the onset of online meetings. pre-Covid, in my line of work, all work calls were just that - telephone calls - and were unlikely to take more than a few minutes each. If we wanted a meeting, it was in-person, in a meeting room. But now, nobody makes telephone calls any more, and everything is an online meeting which might easily take 30-60 minutes. So the amount of time 'on calls' has dramatically increased, which has a huge impact on the working environment in terms of noise, interaction levels etc.

I think pre-covid offices tended to be busier with more going on and therefore more noise so you would have blended in noise wise.

These days my office is never that busy, we are asked to come in 20-40% of the week but it's not forced and many don't. So the office is quieter and one persons one sided conversations stick out more. It's ok now and again but for 6 hours it's too much to expect people round you to put up with. Especially as you are likely one of only very few people doing it. (Based on the fact that someone said something to you) if it was the norm then nothing would have been said.

It's good you're taking the feedback on board. It sounds miserable to sit in a room for that long, agreed but even more miserable to sit and upset everyone around you.

@LuluKentGirl I do believe this whole issue has changed massively since Covid and the onset of online meetings. pre-Covid, in my line of work, all work calls were just that - telephone calls - and were unlikely to take more than a few minutes each. If we wanted a meeting, it was in-person, in a meeting room. But now, nobody makes telephone calls any more, and everything is an online meeting which might easily take 30-60 minutes. So the amount of time 'on calls' has dramatically increased, which has a huge impact on the working environment in terms of noise, interaction levels etc.

Exactly. It's a shift in how people work and what becomes acceptable in the workplace now, and also what behaviour becomes antisocial - most people accept that multiple long online meetings right in the workspace with others is distracting and selfish.

Before OP updated I genuinely thought this was going to be a reverse, because how could anyone think it reasonable to be on calls for SEVEN HOURS in a shared workspace that isn't a call centre?!

Sorry you were embarrassed OP but he was right and he handled it well. You were vvvv U to assume that this is a gendered issue, however. The fact that you are a woman doesn't mean that you can't lack self-awareness, and the fact that he is a man doesn't mean that he was on a power trip over you.

It is far more miserable to have an unproductive day's work because a thoughtless colleague is having back to back calls that everyone can hear.

He sounds patronising and condescending and you're right, in utterly convinced he would never have approached any of your male colleagues in the same way. That said, I think prolonged taking on the phone all day is disruptive and if everyone else is being quiet, you probably have to get on board and book a pod.

I have to say though that I work in a similar environment and its very much the other way round. Everyone talks all day on the phone with headphones in the central area. If anyone wants to talk in private or is working on something where they need quiet to concentrate, then they use one of the offices/pods/breakout spaces.

I agree with him. Sorry my colleagues who boom away on hour long call after hour long call drive me potty.

He sounds patronising and condescending

He really doesn't.

I would get doughnuts for the people who had complained. Apologise and say you didn't realise how distracting your calls were and that wherever possible you would use a pod or separate room. I have experienced how distracting other people's constant phone calls can be.

I had a colleague who was on the phone all day. Unfortunately, there was no where else for him to work. It was so distracting.

Although I have my own office, my team are in an open plan room. If they are taking quick calls they'll do so at their desks, but if there's a planned "meeting" or conference call that's expected to go on for a long time they'll use a meeting room as it is distracting for others.

Even though I'm in my own room, my door is always open and I can be heard in the main office. If I'm having a Zoom or long telephone call I'll always close the door to not annoy anyone else.

I understand the annoyance of not having two screens OP, so maybe you can make a suggestion to the Hub provider to install extra screens in the meeting rooms?

lol. Of course if a bloke was performance working so everyone was being disrupted listening to their loud calls and folks complaining he’d have been told to. Give over.

Quite. And probably not as politely as the OP was informed!

If you really want to frame this as a gender issue then I strongly suspect that if you were a man he or someone else would have told you to keep the bloody chat down sooner and much more bluntly. Would you have preferred this?

I'd love to know where you work that there are sufficient pods/offices to cover all required calls. I've never seen one and we have pretty fancy offices as do many of our clients.

The problem is with the office set up - its quite possible within large shared offices to allocate one floor or zone as a "quiet zone" or for "marketing' or whatever and to set them up to minimise impact of noise. It just requires office management.

Companies use open plan hot desking because it saves them money, if they do it on the cheap with poor build or poor planning then its unpleasant for staff. That isn't the fault of the staff.

Nope. Not where I work. Zero chance that this would have happened. They would have bitched behind his back maybe or moaned to his manager in the pub but ZERO chance they would have publicly pulled him into a room to reprimand him. Absolutely no way this would have happened.

I think he does, as described, and that is how I would have interpreted it OP. And there is no way he'd have pulled a bloke into a room wher I work.