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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I can't do anything

114 replies

zengarden1 · 17/10/2023 18:57

Partly for fun but also kinda serious also. I tend not to be able to do lots of stuff which give examples of below and so I often feel useless but shrug it off. Pls ask questions of what I can do and I'll answer

I CANT

Open a tin with a can opener
Sew knit crochet etc
Cook very well (basic)
Clean very well (basic)
Blow balloons

And now I'm sat here with a list I can't think of lots but ask away and I'll answer

OP posts:
canyousmelltoast · 18/10/2023 01:08

newamsterdam · 17/10/2023 18:59

Why not learn how to do some of things you "can't do". Who does them all for you?

This. I used to get help with all sorts but it's been several years now that there's no one to fix the problem except me. It got easier when I bought a drill and assembled my own small tool kit and another large one. There's not much I cant do around the house now. Lone parent. If anything, I challenge myself to believe I can't do it and then get the rage - during which I complete the job perfectly.
It turns out, it's not so hard and you can work out how to do and fix things on your own. Who needs a man? Grin

canyousmelltoast · 18/10/2023 01:16

Tbf I cant knit.
I sew to a bare minimum standard.
I cant people with other school mums.
And I’m not particularly interested in putting time and energy into the above three points Grin
I’m clearly the dad as well as the mum (abundance of dad jokes included). Give me DIY and I’m quite happy! I'm 5 foot and I like a challenge 😂

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 18/10/2023 02:14

My dad used to say there is no such thing as can’t do and that saying I can’t is really just saying I cannot be bothered to do or cannot be bothered to put in the effort to learn how to do something. N the whole he was right

ChocolateCinderToffee · 18/10/2023 02:26

JhsLs · 17/10/2023 20:40

No really, I have the ability to eff it up no matter what the circumstances. I have genuinely tried all the tricks and I still lose half the egg in the process.

Do you buy very fresh eggs? They’re a bugger to peel.

DimplesToadfoot · 18/10/2023 02:28

I can't make homemade Yorkshire Puddings to save my life. Every now and then I'll buy plenty of all the ingredients and spend the afternoon practicing but I haven't made an edible one yet :-(

The nearest I've got was when I made a toad in the hole in the air fryer.

Thank gawd for Aunt Bessie

I've noticed a few posters say they can't knit or crochet, if you'd like to learn, YouTube is your friend here, follow the tutorials, you can play, pause or throw the remote at your leisure

sashh · 18/10/2023 03:15

I can't program my washer properly, I've had it over 10 years.

It's a washer dryer, I can set it to wash and dry, I can set it to wash, can I bloody set it to just dry? No.

Luckily my carer can.

I know it is ridiculous.

@Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 I can't walk to the nearest shop. I know how to do it, my body just will not let me.

LemonyTicket · 18/10/2023 03:22

Not to worry OP

I cant:

Say "phenomenon"

Eat dinner without dropping some on my boobs

Or change a double duvet cover. I end up climbing inside it and having to call my husband who calls me t-rex because my arms are short.

Cooking you can learn :)

Oblomov23 · 18/10/2023 03:47

I can't do the splits. I can't touch my toes. Not life threatening, I manage.

MySugarBabyLove · 18/10/2023 03:55

While I appreciate that a disability can prevent someone from doing things, I also think that threads like these just enhance the stereotypical thinking that the disabled are incapable.

I am blind. People just assume that I can’t do things, and behave as if I’m some kind of inspirational figure when I can. When actually I am perfectly independent, and there is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to do some things.

People assume I can’t cook/clean/bring up a child, that I need a carer and nine out of ten people believe that someone who is totally blind is incapable of doing a job. I in fact even know people who believe that e.g. David Blunket shouldn’t have been in any kind of position of power because he was blind. Nothing to do with who he was or what he was, purely because he is blind.

I have a full-time job. The people I work with know I am blind, but the customers I serve don’t, because my job is online. But I e.g. know someone who works for Apple who frequently has customers refuse to be served by him because he is blind and they want “someone capable.”

I am an excellent cook. I’ll hold my hands up and say that my cleaning skills are shit, although I do think that lack of inspiration plays a part. ;) I don’t need to change lightbulbs because I can’t see them anyway 😂. although on a serious note I can change a lightbulb. I have those smart bulbs though which tend to not need changing often. And are linked to an app on my phone so I can be sure that DS hasn’t left them on.

In lockdown I had to shield because of a different health condition. So I bought a lawnmower and a hedge trimmer, did my garden which, while will never be a symbol of horticulture is perfectly adequate. And I walked 10000 steps around my house every day to keep up my fitness. (And I’ve probably outed myself now).

I have a partner who doesn’t live with me so if I want stuff done I do it myself. DS is older now and capable and there is stuff he will do, but not because of my inability to do them with the exception of things like changing electric plugs (for obvious reasons) and building flat-pack furniture (see below).

My partner can’t cook and it infuriates me. People almost think it’s cute “ha ha you can’t cook” but it really isn’t. i do the cooking anyway because I enjoy doing it, but I certainly don’t think not being able to cook is anything he should be proud of.

And of course there are things I can’t do, but likely because I just can’t do them.

I can’t crochet but who cares. I can’t assemble flat-pack furniture and I think that changing a duvet cover is something that we will all spend an eternity doing in hell.

I think it’s sad that someone thinks that admitting to being unable to do certain life skills is something which should be treated as lighthearted. If it is something they can’t do due to a disability then that’s understandable. If they can’t do it due to their disability making it harder then it’s understandable but can be overcome. But otherwise I can only assume that someone admitting to a lac of basic life skills and wanting people to have a laugh about it at their expense can only mean they are lacking self esteem, which they also need to do something about

FloydWasACat · 18/10/2023 04:18

I am here for the tips on shelling a boiled egg. Mine always look like Hannibal Lecter has been trying to scoff them through the bars on his cell

sashh · 18/10/2023 04:54

FloydWasACat · 18/10/2023 04:18

I am here for the tips on shelling a boiled egg. Mine always look like Hannibal Lecter has been trying to scoff them through the bars on his cell

Try this.

Run cold water intot he pan and fill up the pan.

Take out the egg, tap top and bottom on the work surface then put back into the pan of cold water.

Do the same with any other eggs you are cooking.

Underwater pick a piece of shell off, if you can get a couple off with the 'skin' under you should be OK, otherwise try using a desert spoon to take the egg away from the peel.

If you are not doing something with a whole boiled egg but something like an egg in quarters, don't bother peeling, cut through the shell and the egg and then remove the shell from the quarters.

CaptainSevenofNine · 18/10/2023 10:30

I can't change the tyre of my bicycle. I've learned how to. I've practiced. I don't have the finger strength. So off to the bike shop!

I can't knit or crochet.

I can't horse ride

WhiskerPatrol · 18/10/2023 10:46

MarjorieStuartBaxter · 18/10/2023 00:49

Maybe she has anxiety about getting blown up or electrocuted by the light? Fuck knows but maybe should have posted in chat as ppl are being a bit harsh.
I can't do aerobics 😂 as I can't copy someone doing something on front of me as I'm doing it the Opposite way.....co ordination

Do you mean you can't do aerobics when the instructor is facing the class? My top tip for that is (assuming the studio has mirrors across the front wall, which most do) to look into the mirror and follow the instructor's reflection.

DilemmaDelilah · 18/10/2023 10:53

I cant:
Ride a bicycle
Use power tools (too frightened!)
Do anything that requires a lot of physical effort (too unfit/unwell)
Make friends
Be comfortable in social situations
Break rules

I can:
Make up flat pack furniture (I'm a whizz!)
Knit/crochet/sew/embroider/mend (not brilliant but adequate)
Cook and read a recipe
Read a map
Drive
Change a lightbulb
Wire a plug
Use a computer and office programs - excellent typist!
Speak/read basic French
Know the Latin names for quite a lot of plants and what they mean

And lots of other things too. I am lucky I am very capable. Unlucky I am not very physically able.

@zengarden1 - why not make a list of all the things you CAN do, I'm sure there are more than you think, and things on there that other people can't do. I am also autistic, it just affects me in different ways to you.

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