To not go out for Christmas dinner?

[Waffle19]

Sorry, another Christmas thread in October!

It’s mine and DH’s ‘turn’ to see the in laws this Christmas and they’ve decided to go out for Christmas dinner. Can completely understand why and I think good for them! But if we go with them it’s going to cost in excess of £200, which is half our month’s food budget on one meal.

We also have a toddler and a v young baby so it won’t exactly be relaxing, toddler will not sit still for a meal which is several courses.

Would we be unreasonable to eat dinner at home and then meet up with the in laws later?

DH doesn’t seem fussed either way but I don’t want to offend his family.

How far are they from you? Can DH go and join them for dinner and you take kids round later?

This.

I have been at home with DH and the DC every Christmas for years. We just see family any other time.

Agree with everyone else. Your family first. It's not in your budget. It's not relaxing with young kids so just politely decline

As a mother of adult DC I don't get the point where your PIL are supposedly hosting Christmas dinner but expect you to pay for your meal out. We've gone out for Christmas dinner in previous years , but as it was our choice to do this, we've paid for everyone . I wouldn't want to do it with young children though - hard enough to get them to sit still long enough for a sit down meal at home !

I couldn’t think of anything worse than going out for a long Christmas dinner with my two year old! No chance she’d sit still for that long and it would be super stressful, far from enjoyable.

Do what suits you best, your IL’s should understand. Or host the dinner at yours :)

YANBU - just explain that with 2 young children that it’s not practical for you, as well as the expense they won’t sit for that long and it’s not fair on them or other diners. If they get offended then that’s their problem! My son is nearly 6 and even he would struggle with that, one course at our local carvery is his limit!!

I have this dilemma every year and I am torn between my in-laws and my own family (my separated parents and the in-laws who only have my partner and no other children) this year was our turn to go to the in-laws and they are elderly but live really far away so one of us has to drive, we asked them if they wanted to do Christmas Day on Boxing Day, which basically meant meeting them halfway for a pub meal that would be half the price of what it is on Christmas day

this seemed not only a cheaper option but meant neither me or my in-laws had to cook and wash up and neither sides had to make such a long journey. They happily agreed so I will now spend Christmas Day in my pjs eating rubbish snacks and just loving life without the pressure of cooking a Christmas dinner or travelling 100 mile round trip

Completely agree Op. the cost of Christmas Day out is ridiculous. Hubby and I decided last year that we would have this year's Christmas dinner out for a nice change. Even the local Indian is charging £35 and it's not the best either! The sort you can just about cope with after a few drinks! The decent local Indian and local pub charging £50 per head!
We are stopping at home needless to say.