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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To worry about brother taking oestrogen

109 replies

ChamomileHoneyTea · 16/10/2023 20:52

My brother has just announced he is trans and is taking oestrogen he has purchased online. I’m worried that what he’s taking may not be legit and he is not being reviewed by a doctor. He insists he has done research on appropriate dosage. He says the NHS wait times for transitioning are too long.

OP posts:
Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 16/10/2023 21:27

Hyperfemme cis woman?

Do you mean a woman? Who has particular likes?

Over complicating much?

Hankunamatata · 16/10/2023 21:28

Yanbu purely because they are taking it without medical supervision

nocoolnamesleft · 16/10/2023 21:31

Let's be honest, people taking this drugs under medical supervision haven't exactly been served well by the rigorous quality of the monitoring and follow up. But no medical supervision at all is even scarier. I would agree with the concerns about the possible impact on mental health, so something to bear in mind, in order to encourage openly seeking medical help if you spot any mood/behaviour issues.

DuesToTheDirt · 16/10/2023 21:37

Family is important. Why the need to cut them off if they disagree? So, so wierd. And evil.

Because what is being done doesn't stand up to scrutiny, or debate. Like cults.

MartyFunkhouser · 16/10/2023 21:38

I’d be concerned about him taking hormones without medical supervision. And he surely should be having counselling.

maddening · 16/10/2023 21:43

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The guy isn't here, there is no need to stress about hurting his feelings by using correct language.

SomeCatFromJapan · 16/10/2023 21:45

This whole movement is so unkind really - poor OP is worried about her brother's health and the first reaction from a devotee is to scold and lecture her.

RufustheFactualReindeer · 16/10/2023 21:46

Well said somecatfromjapan

hitherandhither · 16/10/2023 21:46

How old is your brother @ChamomileHoneyTea ?

If they are over 18, then there is not much you can do as presumably they have capacity to make their own decisions.

So. you're not being unreasonable to be concerned over them taking unregulated medicines but you are being unreasonable to think you hold any ability to stop them.

Wiccan · 16/10/2023 21:48

RealTopekaPeople · 16/10/2023 21:21

For someone who is presumably 'gender critical', you sure have a stereotypical way of looking at gender. I am a hyperfemme cis woman. There is nothing 'masculine' about me. That said, I have said my piece. I appreciate the point upthread that the OP may not address her sister using male pronouns. I hope she doesn't, because she will not be listened to if she does and it will damage their relationship.

As a (cis ) woman you'll know all about estrogen then ? Complicated enough in a woman's body . So if he's bought it online then it's probably " Snake oil & piss " !

Fionaville · 16/10/2023 21:49

No he shouldn't be doing that. It's sheer madness to use Internet drugs that are going to mess with his body so much! I'd be looking for counselling for him to be honest. I'd destroy it before he gets to take any!

slopsan · 16/10/2023 21:49

Where have the drugs been bought from?

How sure can you be that the medication is what it claims to be?
Prescription drugs are prescription only because they need to be monitored by a medical professional.

Forget about the politics of gender. Choosing to take drugs purchased over the internet is a scarily dangerous decision.

TheOccupier · 16/10/2023 21:50

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theduchessofspork · 16/10/2023 21:50

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Right now the OP is concerned about her sibling taking unregulated drugs. I am sure she is quite capable of managing her relationship with them without a stranger’s advice, which she wasn’t asking for.

Mumoftwotoddlers · 16/10/2023 21:51

What gender he is or wants to identify as is irrelevant here, he is taking medications he purchased online which is extremely dangerous. If you can, get him to stop them immediately, perhaps book one of those online doctors appointments and see if he can get a private prescription, it may be expensive but at least the medicine will be safe and the correct dosage. What he's taking could contain anything

Sparehair · 16/10/2023 22:04

slopsan · 16/10/2023 21:49

Where have the drugs been bought from?

How sure can you be that the medication is what it claims to be?
Prescription drugs are prescription only because they need to be monitored by a medical professional.

Forget about the politics of gender. Choosing to take drugs purchased over the internet is a scarily dangerous decision.

There are tonnes of online “doctors”
now offering online consults. It’s like loads of people buy that diabetes drug by lying about their weight. You can probably buy oestrogen pretty easily if you just pretend to be a perimenopausal woman.

Seagrassbasket · 16/10/2023 22:11

RealTopekaPeople · 16/10/2023 21:21

For someone who is presumably 'gender critical', you sure have a stereotypical way of looking at gender. I am a hyperfemme cis woman. There is nothing 'masculine' about me. That said, I have said my piece. I appreciate the point upthread that the OP may not address her sister using male pronouns. I hope she doesn't, because she will not be listened to if she does and it will damage their relationship.

What’s a hyper femme cis woman?

A woman who likes pink, lipstick and kittens?

By even using the term ‘femme’ to describe yourself it’s you who’s perpetuating gender stereotypes.

Heyhoherewegoagain · 16/10/2023 22:16

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if he has a penis he’s male. At best he’s a transwoman. Just stop it

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 16/10/2023 22:17

Pray tell what is hyperfemme?
Like the most female person ever?
Do you have an extra special glittery pink fanny?

Hooplahooping · 16/10/2023 22:18

Gosh - can all of you
BORE OFF to get your knickers in a twist about not using preferred pronouns somewhere else (Maybe also do some shouting about boat people while you’re over there. Really get it off your chest all at once…)

OP - it IS worrying your sibling is taking medicine online from a potentially unregulated source. But it’s great that they are confiding in you - I would try and approach this with curiosity vs concern, to highlight your worry comes from a place of love and to invite them to check in with you. I would be very encouraging about visiting a GP - there are private ones like 'the gender gp' that might at least offer guidance...

MuckSavage · 16/10/2023 22:28

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You sound as batshit as he is

10HailMarys · 16/10/2023 22:29

It’s absolutely none of your business.

Notcookie · 16/10/2023 22:30

I assume hyperfemme cis woman means a woman with a particular personality. Like all of us.

Such a shame to resort to stereotypes to label yourself though.

FlagFatigue · 16/10/2023 22:38

He needs mental health care not hormones.

My experience of this is that once they've gone down that road, you're not stopping them. I chose to distance myself, as sad as I found it. I wasn't willing to go along with someone's delusion instead of reality and there was no way my kids were witnessing me affirming that he was a she.

It very sad OP, but my advice is to back off and look after yourself.

FlagFatigue · 16/10/2023 22:39

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🙄

It's a mad world.