Is this normal once you become a mum? (Gifts)

[Whereismyjug]

Since the birth of my DS when I'm bought a gift it's actually a gift for DS. I have a feeling IBU. FTM here so no idea 🙈

For my birthday I opened my gifts from family and it was baby clothes. My DH (birthday less than a week from mine) got cool t-shirts and various things DH will love.

Christmas I received only baby clothes and my DH received thoughtful gifts DH would love.

Was bought a few souvenirs recently from a family members holiday. DH had some really awesome bits. I opened my gifts and it was BABY TOYS.

I was excited after seeing what DH received and felt instant disappointment for it to happen again. Plus it's been from all kinds of people not just the same person.

Is this just how gifts will be now as a mother? I'm absolutely not ungrateful, as all very useful items for DS, but is this normal? I have been buying normal gifts for other mums, am I only supposed to buy baby stuff? It doesn't make sense to me. Help!

(Ps, if it is, I will just start dropping hints on what DS needs from now on 🤣)

No that's not normal

Not normal in my family, no. Do they not see you as a separate person? Do they have form for being sexist?

Not my experience at all! Who are the gifts from? Have you given any indication that you only want bits for the baby?

No, this is not normal. I would be gutted to receive baby clothes or toys for my birthday!

Not normal at all, in my experience. I have three kids and I still get birthday and Christmas presents that are actually for me. This sounds very odd.

How odd! No, this has never happened to me!! Is it the same people who are buying you baby stuff but buying Dh stuff for him? I presume you know them well if they’re buying you presents-I’d be saying something.

Baby showers aside, I have never seen a mother being given a gift that is actually for the baby. Baby toys are given as a gift to the baby, not the mum.

Nope, not normal

Er no, that’s not normal at all.

Honestly, all kinds of people. People with family's, older family members, single friends, friends from other countries. It's so strange!

I haven't given any indication, I think it's just bad luck 😆

The souvenir situation sucked, it was all wrapped up lovely with a bow, had a special gift tag that said my name on...the disappointment was real haha

No that's not normal, I always got my sister presents for her after she had her children, she's still a person in her own right

You know many abnormal people unfortunately.

Even when we go to meet the baby, we buy something for mom - separate to the baby’s gift.

For mom’s birthday, there’s nothing baby related. You’re still a woman in your own right.

Not normal and absolutely ridiculous and some wonder why many women feel like they’ve lost themselves/identity after having a baby.

Definitely not normal from my experience.

Take positive action and ask for specific things for your birthday and Christmas. If gifts for the baby continue to be given to you - ask for receipts so you can change them. Oh and don't put on a brave face either

How odd, never had that. For close family you really need to tell them .
"Oh look a present for DBaby, how nice, it's not their birthday though?? "
Nip it in the bud before Christmas, it's weird . Or buy them a dog toy or something

Definitely not normal. I find sometimes I just don't get a gift now and the children do but I've never had a gift written to me that's actually for the kids. That's weird

Definitely not normal. It’s like receiving a hoover for your birthday because you just love cleaning! I don’t know how you would broach this with people without seeming ungrateful. Maybe start dropping some not-so-subtle hints about what you’d like for Christmas from now?

The first few times I was like, okay, I guess it's not the end of the world. But it keeps happening.

I'm just bracing myself for my 30th next month and Christmas.

If it's not normal, which I absolutely feel right in thinking, I'll try to say something. It's always a bit awkward being critical of a gift though..

It’s relatively normal for extended family and friends to perhaps stop buying gifts for you and instead buy a gift for your child. That was certainly the case in our family.
Immediate family though, I would expect proper gifts for me as usual! Especially if my DH is getting them. Please tell me that your parents are not buying him nice things whilst you get baby clothes!

Very odd. I had a few things 'baby related' for Christmas just after DS was born, but still for me. Such as a very nice leather change bag, a baby wearing coat I had asked for and a muff thing that attached to the pram as I have really bad circulation in my hands.

“Oh, I don’t think that will fit me. Can I get a gift receipt?”

Just echoing PPs...really unusual! My family (weird and wacky in many ways) each brought me a gift just for me even in the hospital - separate from the baby. Makeup, nail varnish, moisturiser, perfume..and my personal favourite from my sister...a McD's vanilla milkshake and half a dozen paperbacks from the local charity shop!

Never received Christmas/birthday presents for the baby,always been an entirely separate thing. Is it possible that they think you're a bit strapped for cash and are trying to be helpful?

Say something. If you open baby clothes say I can't wear these it was supposed to be my present.

Or this is for the baby not me...the babys birthday isn't until ...date.

They'll get it.

That’s very odd, I don’t think it’s normal, perhaps you need to circulate a wish list!

Not normal at all. I'd never buy a mom baby gifts, it's taking the Mick surely