Is this normal once you become a mum? (Gifts)

[Whereismyjug]

Since the birth of my DS when I'm bought a gift it's actually a gift for DS. I have a feeling IBU. FTM here so no idea 🙈

For my birthday I opened my gifts from family and it was baby clothes. My DH (birthday less than a week from mine) got cool t-shirts and various things DH will love.

Christmas I received only baby clothes and my DH received thoughtful gifts DH would love.

Was bought a few souvenirs recently from a family members holiday. DH had some really awesome bits. I opened my gifts and it was BABY TOYS.

I was excited after seeing what DH received and felt instant disappointment for it to happen again. Plus it's been from all kinds of people not just the same person.

Is this just how gifts will be now as a mother? I'm absolutely not ungrateful, as all very useful items for DS, but is this normal? I have been buying normal gifts for other mums, am I only supposed to buy baby stuff? It doesn't make sense to me. Help!

(Ps, if it is, I will just start dropping hints on what DS needs from now on 🤣)

This is not nirmal at all! Sorry OP, that sounds utterly rubbish x

Thanks everyone.

I spoke with DH last time it happened and he said it wasn't fair. He told me he would make up for the gifts when my birthday comes.

I found out recently he's taking me on holiday for a long weekend. In a way, the bad gifts have actually got me a really nice present 😆

That's why I'm not too upset...for now haha

Not normal

i know some people who started buying gifts for dc instead of us after we had them but they wouldn't pass it off as a gift for me and get DH something else

Open it, look at it, look at the tag, then say… oh, you should have put baby’s name on it, I was getting all excited that I’d be getting a present… tinkling laugh
thank you, baby will love it.
DH - look, baby got another present.

if it happens for your birthday…. Be confused… thank you for baby’s present, but you really don’t need to get them a present for my birthday….

and if they say “no, it’s for you”, say… oh, thank you, I just thought it is for baby”

and then take the money that you have saved by not buying g baby stuff and buy yourself whatever you fancy.

finally, say to DH… I don’t understand why people keep giving me stuff for baby, that isn’t a present for me. Please make sure I don’t get any for my birthday or Christmas!!!!

No that's pretty shit

No that's shite. Great if they want to get the baby something but they shouldn't be shoving it off as a present for you.

I've not had it that extreme but my mum has many times given me stuff with my daughter in mind. Like "baking with kids" recipe books and biscuit cutters, or dominoes to play together and my cards are often chosen with her in mind not me. I'm not into baking or dominoes...Not all the presents but a lot.
That annoys me and it's just one person, I'd be gutted if everyone did it. Sorry OP, it's rubbish for you.

I've always made a point of buying mum friends gifts for themselves, especially when they've just had a baby, because I read somewhere that nobody remembers it's mum who's done all the work.

Please say something before your birthday and Christmas. This is so far outside normal, I'm appalled I've never had a gift that was actually for my child, in my life (and my kids are adults now).

I don't know why your DH isn't/didn't say something if you felt unable to.

Next time you open a gift from a family member and it's for your child, either say "it's my birthday, not (baby's) you know!" Or "Have I opened.(baby's) present by mistake?" at the very least.

As for friends...what are they thinking?

No that’s not normal, tell them to stop.

That's definitely not normal, especially considering your DH is getting presents for him!

And a present for him, handy!

Ah, I know. But the sentiment was there, honestly!

Not normal and not fair!

No normal at all.

It is weird. Can't your DH say something to your relatives?

Re your 30th - get your DH to organise relatives and friends in their gift buying - give them a list or at least some suggestions. Don't keep schtumm - this is becoming a pattern and a habit and they are hard to fix

Nope, that’s new on me! Can you try to hint or give some ideas for family since it’s a bigger birthday coming up?

Usually my friends have made an effort to give gifts just for the mum to treat herself with after she’s had a baby so yeah it’s a bit unusual,

Yes, I had this when me baby was small. In fairness, I was pleased as would rather have baby things and then if I need things I use my money for them (as the baby already has the gifts). But I like choosing stuff I want.

I agree. Say sonething

I didn't update this thread.

So, on my birthday I had no baby gifts 🎉

I suspect DH said something to someone. I had lots of lovely adult gifts this time around.

No, that’s rubbish! You are still a person, a fully formed and multi faceted individual, who deserves presents that are for you! You aren’t only a mother!

Not normal no. But my inlaws buy me presents for my DH and tell me so... annoying and rude x

Great update OP, glad you finally got some gifts for yourself! 👍

Yeah, concur with others that is not at all normal. It sounds like someone's got it into their head that this is a thing and told everyone 'Oh you should be getting @Whereismyjug baby things now'.

Edit: Just seem updates, glad the glitch has been fixed, hopefully all good tomorrow - happy Christmas!