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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a Gatsby themed wedding?

75 replies

daliesque · 16/10/2023 19:36

A blatant thread about a million threads.....
It'll be childfree too.

I'm on call tonight after deciding not to bother going home as I have a couple of patients here who I suspect will have a crisis tonight...

So partner and I (he's not Dear as he's sending photos of himself cuddled up on the sofa with a couple of dogs and a glass of 19 Crimes) are messaging about wedding plans.

I want this - jazz band, champagne towers, total hedonism and partying through the night in a posh hotel in London whilst looking suitably elegant in silver dress and cigarette holder....ignoring the fact that I'm short, fat and middle aged.

He wants - cosy castle by candlelight, in Scotland so he gets the chance to frighten my friends with what's under his kilt. Whisky instead of champagne and drunken debauchery and country dancing.

So my question is...
YANBU - Gatsby so much better
YABU - go for the Highland fling

All lighthearted of course.

OP posts:
RSintes · 16/10/2023 19:45

I'm sorry but as a stressed-out teacher nearing half term, the word Gatsby conjures up a very different scenario for a wedding. 😵‍💫😂

'Gatsby benchmarks' are all about how teachers incorporate careers info into lessons, so a wedding based on this would be rather less romantic than you were hoping

Curioushorse · 16/10/2023 19:45

Oh my god have you read Gatsby? Not for a wedding. NO!

Possimpible · 16/10/2023 19:46

Tricky! We had a Scottish wedding (barn not castle) but I'd equally have loved a black tie do. I think if the photos are important and you're spending a fortune on styling/look like Sofia Richie - Gatsby. But I do think a ceilidh might be more fun? Depends on your guests

PennyNotWise · 16/10/2023 19:47

Oh wow they both sound amazing! Sorry no help, could the cosy castle and kilt be a honeymoon?

OzziePopPop · 16/10/2023 19:47

YABU go Scotland!

CurlewKate · 16/10/2023 19:47

Highland for a wedding.
Gatsby for a party

I suggest hot getting married at all and just having the Gatsby party without having to do all the weddingy stuff...

Original poster
daliesque · 16/10/2023 19:48

Curioushorse · 16/10/2023 19:45

Oh my god have you read Gatsby? Not for a wedding. NO!

Ha ha yeah. I'll keep him away from any swimming pool.

But then his Scottish castle wedding idea is based on four weddings and a funeral so 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 16/10/2023 19:48

I'm assuming the Gatsby thing is aesthetic only.....🤣

Original poster
daliesque · 16/10/2023 19:49

RSintes · 16/10/2023 19:45

I'm sorry but as a stressed-out teacher nearing half term, the word Gatsby conjures up a very different scenario for a wedding. 😵‍💫😂

'Gatsby benchmarks' are all about how teachers incorporate careers info into lessons, so a wedding based on this would be rather less romantic than you were hoping

OMG that sounds awful.
Have a glass 🥃 and hope half term comes quick Flowers

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 16/10/2023 19:51

Are either of you Scottish?

SaracensMavericks · 16/10/2023 19:51

Both sound amazing but overall I'm voting YANBU

Original poster
daliesque · 16/10/2023 19:52

MorrisZapp · 16/10/2023 19:51

Are either of you Scottish?

Both of us. I'm Glasgow thug. He's Highland farmer stock.

OP posts:
jays · 16/10/2023 19:52

If I had the money I’d do the Scottish wedding and then throw a Gatsby themed party later. Oh it’s exciting! Really happy for you!

ComtesseDeSpair · 16/10/2023 19:54

I’d go with no - it can end up being a bit of a tacky fancy dress party: my company threw a Great Gatsby themed Christmas party last year and whilst half the staff got the memo on glamour, the other half looked a bit daft.

Whataretheodds · 16/10/2023 19:55

Highland wedding
Roaring '20s anniversary or birthday party. (Why would you want your wedding tied to a tragic story including an abusive marriage, hit and run murder and suicide?)

MorrisZapp · 16/10/2023 19:58

Highland wedding then, roaring fire, tartan carpet, loads of champagne. Whisky for the grandads if they want it. Stovies at 10pm.

rookiemere · 16/10/2023 20:01

As long as you don't expect your guests to have to dress up to a specific theme, then do what you want.

TillyMintie · 16/10/2023 20:09

No to Gatsby as he and Daisy were doomed, even by the weather!

DorisHatt · 16/10/2023 20:09

How aware are you of the themes and message of the book? Of what it says about marriage and love?

megletthesecond · 16/10/2023 20:10

Nooo! Haven't you read the book? Hideous people.

Christmasusernamepending · 16/10/2023 20:10

I'd go Gatsby 100%

assignedferretatbirth · 16/10/2023 20:15

I hate naff Gatsby events.

I vote 100% highland.

CoraPirbright · 16/10/2023 20:30

Why does it have to be one or the other? I wouldn’t go with Gatsby per se (terribly sad story about horrible people plus you don’t want your guests turning up in cheapo boas, wonky headbands and tacky plastic cigarette holders). Go for the castle/ceilidh idea but with lashings of deco style glamour!

NotesApp · 16/10/2023 20:39

I think you are underselling your idea by calling it Gatsby themed, as that sounds a bit tacky (and inappropriate) whereas what you actually describe sounds fun.

Luckingfovely · 16/10/2023 20:49

I think you need to work harder on combining the two and compromising that way. Can the Scottish thing not be Black Tie + full kilt regalia for those who wear it?

And introduce some Art Deco elements?

I also agree that the book is a terrible theme for a wedding - really not in the spirit of celebrating true love and marriage!

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