To have a Gatsby themed wedding?

[daliesque]

A blatant thread about a million threads.....
It'll be childfree too.

I'm on call tonight after deciding not to bother going home as I have a couple of patients here who I suspect will have a crisis tonight...

So partner and I (he's not Dear as he's sending photos of himself cuddled up on the sofa with a couple of dogs and a glass of 19 Crimes) are messaging about wedding plans.

I want this - jazz band, champagne towers, total hedonism and partying through the night in a posh hotel in London whilst looking suitably elegant in silver dress and cigarette holder....ignoring the fact that I'm short, fat and middle aged.

He wants - cosy castle by candlelight, in Scotland so he gets the chance to frighten my friends with what's under his kilt. Whisky instead of champagne and drunken debauchery and country dancing.

So my question is...
YANBU - Gatsby so much better
YABU - go for the Highland fling

All lighthearted of course.

Castle and ceilidh is where I would be at! I am Scottish too.

YABU - 19 crimes & dogs you say? The man clearly has good taste, so a highland fling is a winner!!

A hog roast & the Gay Gordon’s sounds much better than jazz music & flapper dresses (this theme is a bit 2010s too - sorry!)

@ApolloandDaphne We had a ceilidh. People still talk about it five years on 😅

Both options will be £££ do you have the budget?
Personally I think you should swerve any fancy dress element but incorporate the hedonism and excess of the roaring 20s with the fun and wildness of the highland fling. A ceilidh (is it called that in Scotland??) band with champagne and people wearing whatever they like whether that be 20s or kilts or anything else

Highland Castle, far better

Or Landmark Trust have some fancy houses

https://www.landmarktrust.org.uk/search-and-book/location/scotland/#Search

@Bobtheamazinggingerdog A ceilidh (is it called that in Scotland??) band with champagne and people wearing whatever they like whether that be 20s or kilts or anything else

Yes it's called that in Scotland (?), and tbh you've just described 90% of Scottish weddings. Including my own, so not like it's a bad thing but it's not exactly unique. OP is in her 50s and does not appear to be stupid, I'm sure she can decide for herself if she can afford it.

Love the roaring fires and roaring 20s idea @BeetleDeuce !

Ok, I was just wondering if these are fantasy options or real possibilities.

@Bobtheamazinggingerdog fair enough, neither sound unrealistic to me. There are venues like Blythswood Hotel that are nice hotels but also fit the Scottish roaring fire theme

Maybe lose the word Gatsby as others have said. A glamorous twenties theme would incorporate the same aesthetic, although my first thought was have you got £100,000 to drop on a central London, posh hotel, champagne tower type wedding? Your guests will hate you for how much It's going to cost to attend
Personally I'd choose Scotland every time.

I found it strange that Princess Eugenie or Beatrice had a reading from it at their wedding, having read it… Felt like tempting fate to me. But each to their own I suppose.

Scottish for me OP. Gatsby is overdone, a bit ‘sixth form prom theme’ to me as a teacher and I reckon would look half-arsed unless you have a truly massive budget for decor etc. Mind you, we went for black tie which is also overdone now. Despite making it clear on our invitation with “Black tie optional”, we had so many texts like “Do you mean we have to wear a black tie?” (Not sure why people couldn’t just Google…) A Gatsby dress code would be expensive and I’d guess most guests would be annoyed rather than embrace it. We went to an Gatsby birthday and my husband needed a tux (pre wedding) and I didn’t have a suitable dress as I tend to go plain which was pricey before we even factored in hotel, travel, gift etc. Also, can speak from experience that Champagne towers are very stressful (and ridiculously expensive). Most people I know who had one say they regret it and wouldn’t if they did it all again.

Happy planning and congratulations!

Ps, I read “Gatsby wedding” and a flowing, free bar with expensive cocktails came to mind if you truly want to emulate the hedonism of Gatsby. This may be the case for your guests too! 😂 Fine if you have a huge budget and that was always your plan.

A 4pm black tie wedding in a castle , straight to lovely meal and live band and party party. Kilts work fantastically for black tie

YABU - 19 crimes & dogs you say? The man clearly has good taste, so a highland fling is a winner!!

He does indeed. He also,pointed out, when I eventually got home this morning, that we both want to have the dogs there and they aren't the type to fit in with London Hotel glamour.....so the Scottish Castle is looking the most likely....

But I'm pushing for art deco and lots of sparkly things and even more champagne 😁

We don't live in Scotland anymore for the person who mentioned that. We're actually closer to London.

I've warned him he'd better not follow the plot too much. No way can I read that WH Auden poem without wailing 😭

Gatsby engagement party Scotish wedding.

Not worried about any random heart attacks though as our friends are mostly doctors and vets and his best mate is a cardiologist so I've definitely got the night off

I'm no help, love both ideas.

I love the 20s aesthetic and would have considered it for my wedding but I am also much too curvy to suit the fashion.

I'll happily accept an invite to either.

Ok, I was just wondering if these are fantasy options or real possibilities

It started out as fantasy as we were planning on just doing a registry office and pub thing....but we were talking it over with some old friends at the weekend and decided to think what the hell..let's have the wedding of our dreams as we can afford it and we have a fabulous set of friends who want to party with us and who would be up for both options

I assumed the OP was simply using Gatsby as shorthand for a glamorous, hedonistic, 1920s aesthetic?

It's fairly common usage, have you never come across it?

Very little to do with the themes of the book.

Well I say plans depend a lot on your guests location wise. As you are both Scottish surely you should have it there unless you're not planning to invite much family. And if it's child-free, which is totally fine, if it's going to be far from home, will people you want to come be able to manage childcare?

I don't see why you shouldn't have both deco and Scottish elements.

Scotland. A themed wedding makes me cringe. Plus everyone looks hideous in Gatsby garb.

The people invited are scattered all over the UK and Europe, but we're all,pretty much in the same age group and income bracket so money not much of an issue. We also meet up for holidays often too. It's not a huge group - probably around 30 people.

Same with childcare issues - they all either have grown up kids or none.

I have a fucking huge family, most of whom live in or around Glasgow or over in Cork. A few still in Italy but not many. Apart from my dad and my sister none of my family will be invited as we don't get on.

He's got a few relatives who are pretty much civilised (unlike mine) but their attendance depends on whether they can get farm-sitters as they don't like to leave theirs. He also has grown up children, but they don't like me so won't come anyway.

We've been engaged for nearly 10 years so think we've past the stage of an engagement party.

I don't see why you shouldn't have both deco and Scottish elements

Indeed....my love of anything art deco comes from visiting my cousin who was an art student at Glasgow School of Art in the 80's.

A previous asked about the usage of Great Gatsby for this style of party, and did I know it. I asked simply because on this occasion it was being tied specifically to a wedding, rather than a 1920s/Roaring Twenties party, or the jazz age, which can be well known themes.

Unrelated to the OP's question and situation, but this link explores something of this interesting disconnect that has developed between the themes of the book, and this modern usage or shorthand:

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/05/the-sublime-cluelessness-of-throwing-lavish-em-great-gatsby-em-parties/275592/