to think phones should be banned for kids?!

[Glassesfrompubs]

I'm kinda ranting here because I can do it anonymously, where really I want to stand in the playground and scream at the top of my lungs... so to save me from social death I'm going to do it here instead!!

My DS is 7 (yr 2). He has kids in his class who have their own mobile phones, who use TikTok and other social media. I'm pretty pissed off because my son was told he was a "loser" because he doesn't know what TikTok is. FFS no seven year old should have a phone!

I just do not understand it and I think it's pretty negligent parenting - none of these kids are travelling to school by themselves. There is literally no reason for young children to have a phone other than their parents giving themselves and easy life and giving into pester power.

For older kids too... everyone I know who is a teacher or has secondary-aged kids says phones are the single worst thing in their kids' lives. teachers spend far too much time dealing with this crap and not actually teaching. Parents feel totally beholden to allow their kids to have them, but equally feel like the devices and constant social interaction is ruining their children's lives.

I really feel like kids shouldn't even be allowed their own devices. If they have to have them for getting to/from school then they should be locked in a box at the start of the school day, and returned at the end. Am I the only one who feels like this?!

I know 4yr olds with their own phone, it’s ridiculous. Or they’ve got tablets with access to Tiktok and other social media. Friends daughter is 11 and has had these social medias a few years. I’ve seen her arguing with friends on what’s app, class group chats with always lead to problems. My own DD got a phone in yr 6 and joined the class what’s app. Soon left it after problems. It was awful what I read on there. So no, stop buying your young kids phones and letting them have Tiktok when in primary. It’s ridiculous and so much of it going on

Not really necessary in primary, needed in secondary. Mobile phones aren’t just for TikTok etc. DC’s secondary uses apps for a variety of things- for homework, attendance, meetings, behaviours, points, etc. For a teenager, it is also a convenient way for parents to send them money - they can then use apple/ goggle pay for purchases, can access their online banking etc . Stage coach app for transport ,can easily contact parents if they are going to be late home- the list goes on. Older children and teens need to be technologically savvy, that’s how it is now - whether people like it or not .

Things have changed massively in those 8yrs. My DS is 19, he was one of the last in his class to get a phone, not being 11 until August so he just it just as he started secondary. Now kids have phones way before year 6, my god-children have had them well before. Maybe year 4. And their classmates too. My friend is very much if their friends have it I’m depriving my kids not letting them join in the online conversations. I witnessed her once getting really angry about what someone had said about her online and punching her furniture. I said this is why kids her age shouldn’t be online as they aren’t old enough to manage the fallouts

My child is 3, and most children his age have been on devices since they were small. Getting phone of their own is the natural step. DS doesn’t look at devices. He watches TV or plays at home. Socialises when we’re out. Hangs out with local kids.

I realise that he will need to be tech-savvy, with the times he’s growing up in. But I think having basic social skills is more important than that. Seeing how things are going with his peers, though, I could be totally wrong. Which is quite sad, really.

Yes, TV is a device. I mean phone or tablet or laptop.

Dd was saying 2 boys now have phones 7yo. Interestingly one has become a.lot more violent in the last 2 months. He hit her in the back.and at least 2 other kids. He was lovely r y1 and y2

DS is 9 nearly 10 and has a phone as he plays out on the estate and find my phone is pretty accurate. He is getting my old Apple Watch as an extra at Christmas. He doesn't have TikTok but YouTube shorts is just as bad, he's allowed to post YouTube videos if he wears a character masks and is only in the house or far away from home.

The first ones I have seen having phones were the ones with separated parents, so had a phone to keep in touch with whoever they were away from that weekend.

Once they start, the rest of the class tries to follow.

Some children start extremely young. I am already judging parents who put a tv in a child's bedroom!

YANBU. My kids aren’t allowed near one, nor a tablet. Will review when they reach year 6 or 7 and will be traveling alone to school and sports practice alone.

Our local secondary school does not work like this. Many schools don’t allow phones during the day.

At my DD's school her teacher sometimes asks them to use their phones to look things up, for instance they've been writing history essays recently and had to use their phones to do research (which meant she had to send me a message asking me to put extra time on her phone as she was running out doing her school work!)

Mine had phones from around that age (it coincided with the lockdowns starting) to FaceTime their friends while stuck at home and isolated. Parental controls on, restrictions on their use (no phones in bedrooms etc) and constant reinforcement on sensible use of them. Was slightly earlier than I'd have liked to have them accessing mobile phones, but our hands were forced slightly by the pandemic and we're of the view that we can't take them away from the world they live in - so it's been a case of introducing things in a controlled manner and trying to give them the skills to use it appropriately - rather than the "oh you're in year 7 now - here's your phone and off you go" and the kids going nuts with them thing that seems to be causing more bother.

Because they had them and were introduced to them gradually we've watched the eldest roll her eyes despairingly as peers got them later and went a bit nuts with not behaving properly - and she's ruthless with the block button when boys piss her off. However much secondary claim to be zero tolerance on phones - the entire way the school runs DOES tend to assume the kids have them in order to notify us of the million changes to pickup logistics etc!

YABU. Do what you want with your own child and I'll do what I want with mine.

I'm 33 and I got a phone when I was 10, it's not that new. Although obviously we didn't have smart phones back then.

My dd9 is the only one of her friendship group without a phone. They also all have tiktok. Dd will be getting my old iPhone for Christmas but there will be no tiktok. She will have WhatsApp and a few of her close friends numbers and family members only. She currently uses my phone to video call her friends, that's all she wants a phone for really and I'm happy for her to have one for that.

My grandson has an old phone of ours and he's 6; however he only really uses it to FaceTime his grandad because they play online games together. He doesn't take it out of the house.

I agree though that young kids who get dropped off/picked up from school don't need to carry a phone about with them. Id worry what they were accessing in the playground - pretty sure no one in my GS year takes a phone or he would've made it very clear how unfair it was that he couldn't

It must be a nightmare teaching teens with phones - Im in my 40s and get easily distracted by them!

Yeah, I've seen this as well, it's extremely disturbing. And similarly with younger kids.

As for the idea they would never be banned - kids also used to be allowed to smoke, drink, and gamble. The internet affects the brain very similarly to gambling, and it changes the structure of the brain. There is plenty of reason to think that especially with kids, potentially permanently. The kind of behaviour these 15 years olds are showing is addict behaviour.

People who get addicted to gaming and internet stuff often can't ever really use that tech normally, they are always in danger of regressing. It's a huge limit on things like employment, having internet at home for daily tasks etc. It's a big risk to take when kids actually don't need internet access.

@Rudderneck Old thread but I totally agree. I worked in a secondary school and saw how bad mobile devices were for students, how negatively they reacted when they couldn't have them, and how often they would sneak around the controls.

There's a great website called Techedoff which has lots of information about how phones and ipads are negative for young minds. Technology can be brilliant but smart phones are not good for children and I think in 20 years we'll look back and wonder why we gave them to children. If you need to keep in touch they don't need a smartphone, just a basic phone with text and calls.

The tech companies make smartphones and apps addictive because you spend more time on them, and so make the companies make more money. The age requirement of 13+ for FB etc. only exists because in the US there is a law saying you can't collect data from under 13s- nothing to do with whether they are ready for SM at that age.