to think phones should be banned for kids?!

[Glassesfrompubs]

I'm kinda ranting here because I can do it anonymously, where really I want to stand in the playground and scream at the top of my lungs... so to save me from social death I'm going to do it here instead!!

My DS is 7 (yr 2). He has kids in his class who have their own mobile phones, who use TikTok and other social media. I'm pretty pissed off because my son was told he was a "loser" because he doesn't know what TikTok is. FFS no seven year old should have a phone!

I just do not understand it and I think it's pretty negligent parenting - none of these kids are travelling to school by themselves. There is literally no reason for young children to have a phone other than their parents giving themselves and easy life and giving into pester power.

For older kids too... everyone I know who is a teacher or has secondary-aged kids says phones are the single worst thing in their kids' lives. teachers spend far too much time dealing with this crap and not actually teaching. Parents feel totally beholden to allow their kids to have them, but equally feel like the devices and constant social interaction is ruining their children's lives.

I really feel like kids shouldn't even be allowed their own devices. If they have to have them for getting to/from school then they should be locked in a box at the start of the school day, and returned at the end. Am I the only one who feels like this?!

Absolutely, agree with this. But these kids aren't doing that - there's no reason a seven year old needs TikTok.

DD1 has had a phone for a couple of years and she’s 9. It’s my old iPhone that she doesn’t have a sim for. She doesn’t have any form of social media and the only people she can iMessage are me, DH, grandparents and aunts and uncles. She uses it for games and watching Netflix, etc. It has parental controls and time limiters on it and doesn’t leave the house unless for long car rides. She knows we can pick it up at any point to look at it.

She’s getting a new phone for Christmas/her 10th birthday but we will have very strict rules for it with no TikTok, Facebook, etc. and only WhatsApp for family and friends we have approved. We’re getting one then because she will be walking to and from school without an adult and she’s proved herself trustworthy with my old one.

Where does that end? Must get the expensive trainers and designer labels too because they’ll be bullied etc?

My DC are 10 and 8 and have no phones and don’t game either. They’ve mentioned friends having phones but didn’t argue when we said that they’re too young.

My DD goes to secondary school next year and will only have a short walk so a phone won’t be necessary then either. Her teacher mentioned at parents’ evening the grief that they cause in her year and the time the teachers spend dealing with the upset from messages that the children send to each other, and said from experience it’s best to hold off for as long as possible into secondary school.

I think it’s important for them to have a break from their school day. Schools had bullies pre phones - imagine coming home and it possibly continuing in the evenings too.

I agree that there is no reason a 7yo needs TikTok.

the problem is that people are jumping from that to banning children from phones. That is taking it too far. Phones and tablets can be fantastic devices, even for younger children, if used wisely.

That many parents are irresponsible and don’t know how to use parental controls and even actively circumvent the age restrictions set by content providers is not justification to prevent responsible people from using devices wisely.

Better education would help.

the phone manufacturers making the parental controls easier to understand and less bug prone would also help. That would be an excellent parental campaign. Making our voices heard to ask them to make the parental controls easier to use and absolutely never-fail.

I didn't allow DD to get a phone until around Easter of year 6. I certainly don't think they are needed before year 6 other than in a limited number of circumstances (eg SEN or communicating with non-resident parents after relationship breakdowns). However, kids of any age falling asleep at school after staying up late using their phones isn't because of the phone, it's because their parents don't have /enforce boundaries. If those kids didn't have a mobile, they'd be up late just watching TV or playing on the computer like some people did when I was at school before mobiles were a thing. There have always been parents who lack the ability or common sense to make good decisions for their children.

Giving your DC a mobile phone doesn't have to be an all or nothing option. DD's phone is switched off and kept downstairs from an hour before she goes to bed (there are also other rules about usage and no social media). Getting her a phone doesn't mean I washed my hands of any responsibility to ensure she goes to bed on time, communicates kindly with her friends etc.

We won't be locking up my son's phone cause it issued for medical monitoring. I get the sentiment, and broadly agree, but an outright ban would not work.

It's definitely not unusual around here. P3 age 6/7 mostly , a handful have phones. By p4, 8/9 years, I'd say half of the class have them. I see them walking around the village glued to them instead of watching where they're walking or being aware of their surroundings. Absolutely nuts.

20% of 5-7 years old own a smartphone. Incredibly, 17% of 3-4 years old do too.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1326211/children-owning-mobile-phone-by-age-uk/

My youngest (aged 8 at the time) got a phone during the first lockdown to stay in touch with friends as did most of her friends. Otherwise she would have had to wait until P7 like her big brother.

Now aged 11 she still doesn't have social media and isn't allowed to take her phone to school.

As for secondary school - given that the teachers incorporate phone use in to many classes - that shipped has sailed too.

Whist I wish phones didn't exist - they do. Not a chance they will get banned. What needs to happen is for parents to teach good phone etiquette and responsible use.

Whist I wish phones didn't exist - they do. Not a chance they will get banned.

@DinnaeFashYersel what do you mean?

DD is in year 3 and not a single child in the class has a phone. I'll get her one for secondary.

My kids (9 and 11) both have phones. They walk home from school on their own, so I want them to have a way to contact me if they need to (no pay phones these days). Whilst I agree that we need careful monitoring with regard to social media, message groups (my daughter is banned from being in any message groups - they can be really toxic!) and internet access, I don't agree with the hysteria about how phones will affect brain development. I was addicted to my computer from a very young age (1980s), and spent hours gaming and coding (I now work in a tech-based research field). Many kids spent their lives attached to GameBoys, or later, PSPs, and I haven't seen any research conclusively showing that those resulted in negative brain development. I don't see why phones should be any different. I think every generation comes up with a new "technology" that they believe is rotting kids brains!

On balance I think life was simpler before phones. Yes we have lots of convenience with them but we also have all the negatives. So if I could turn back time to pre-mobile days I would.

I don't believe that government would ban phones for kids. Schools could ban them. Our primary school requires all phones to be handed over in the morning and they are returned at the end of the day. But high schools - very unlikely.

I think too many adults spend so much time glued to their own phones that kids just think it's normal. Not all adults tbf, but a lot of the ones I see about...

O one of a few classmates of DD1s having phone at 8ish... the ones with separated parents usually, for family contact.

What a phone is so blurred these days. Its a mini computer and a communication device. My 10yo uses hers to watch stuff on YouTube (vetted) and to research stuff like castles or witches or eygptians... whatever takes her fancy that week! She doesn't take it "out" yet but might need a SIM soon for clubs etc with variable pick up times.

Children have been having phones since age 7 for years in my country, I remember reading an article about it when I was still living in my first apartment here so at least 12 years ago. But back then it wasn't smart phones so not as bad. The children had them because they walk to school alone at that age, which is why my DD got one at 7 too (but very locked down on apps, and strict time limits) but would be better if they were old nokia style phones rather than smartphones but whatsapp is how all the children keep in touch so old style phones are no good now.

When you consider what they could become exposed to, and just the extra stress it adds to their lives, it should be considered abuse to give a child a phone. I’m also disgusted by the number of kids who are completely addicted to gaming. I’ve recently heard a complete horror story (happened to a friend of a friend) of 2 local 9 year olds who were left unattended with a phone with internet access on a sleepover. Apparently they had access to some messaging app. You can imagine what ensued.

Tbh as a teacher I think kids should only be allowed phones without internet access. It would solve lots of issues. First they wouldn't want one so only the kids who did need it for walking home alone etc would have one. Second, there would be much less bullying and mental health issues. Lets be honest the internet and access to it has caused massive damage to children and teenagers. The explosion in self harm is I think significantly linked to social media and online activity.

I was a victim of this and put my hands up to the fact it was my fault what happened.. DS (8) had my old phone and was always playing on Roblox. I would put the pin number in for him to access the phone. Then one day I had a huge shock when I discovered daily amounts coming out of my bank account for Google Play. It turned out that he had been buying Robux at £3 - £7 per day for over a month! I hadn't got phone banking so didn't realise until I got my statement through. I asked him what did he do to get the Robux and he said it was easy to do it with a finger print which he set up himself...yes i know, I'm a twat!! I went mental, took the phone off him and he wasn't allowed on it again. It's just scary how much they can do on phones, and they can be very clever. Certainly cleverer than me!

Yes, absolutely

I have never understood the outrage for phones Vs tablets ?? Lots of small kids have tablets and by 7 a lot do.
what is the actual difference apart from one is easier to make calls on.

My kids were allowed phones at 11, WhatsApp only with pre-agreed friends and no TikTok.

Phones are also to be switched off and out of site at all times whilst on school grounds so it doesn't affect their school days at all. I believe all schools should follow suit

I agree that it's completely unnecessary for children to have phones in primary school. I very reluctantly gave my daughter a phone when she transferred to secondary school and she had a journey of an hour each way, part of which was often on her own. But I had to get special permission from her head of year, and if anyone who was allowed to being a phone to school was caught using it during the day, it was confiscated until the end of term. This was quite strictly enforced until she started in the sixth form.

Yanbu

Y7 (11.5yr) child and 💯 its awful and the worst thing. Held off until near end of y6 and will do the same with our other kids.

Would be v happy if smart phones banned!

7year olds with phones, wow

Aso secondary school they are not allowed phones out during school day. They are switched off.