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Original poster

Getting hassled on holiday by locals

164 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 16/10/2023 13:01

I've arrived on holiday a couple of days ago and can't believe how off-putting to business some of the locals are. The two main examples so far;

  • Going to a market to have a look around, and wanting to buy some gifts.
Market trader: "Madam do you want to buy this scarf" Me: "No thanks just looking at the moment" "I can give you a good price" "No thank you" "I can sell for x" I end up just walking away as I have ASD and can't concentrate on what I actually want to buy and it's overwhelming someone getting in my face trying to sell something I'm not looking at.

Second scenario was a taxi ride
"When are you going home, I can do airport taxis"
"22nd, we have a taxi sorted thank you"
"I can do it for 15 ( example amount, much higher than our booked one)
"No thanks, we have it booked cheaper for 10 " (true)
"I can do it for 12.50"
"No thanks , we have a cheaper one booked"
He then gets arsey and moody so we have a quiet journey. 5 minutes later he hands us a business card and asks us to contact him if we need a driver. Yeah sure, a miserable man who tried to offer an inflated price for a journey we already sorted, and got irritated we didn't accept...

I don't want to name the country because I don't want to give bad opinions to someone who might want to go, but it's Asia (the Thailand/Indonesia/Malaysia/Philippines sort of vibe). But Im surprised that people think this is a way to get business. I saw loads of people looking at the markets before being scared off by persistent sellers.

Does anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 16/10/2023 20:43

Stop engaging with them! There was zero reason for you to tell a taxi driver your dates of travel, you're opening yourself up for all sorts of problems if you tell randomers your travel plans like that.

I also wanted to say this.

You're giving too much information. "No thanks" is literally all you need to say. Over and over again.

SaturdayGiraffe · 16/10/2023 20:47

Been hassled constantly in Jamaica (told I was racist for not buying bead necklace). Followed by shop workers breathing down my neck across Malaysia. Scam attempts every day in Sri Lanka.
We must give off “easy marks”.

Megifer · 16/10/2023 20:53

Could be worse op I once ended up paying £10ish more for a bag than its actual advertised price after I'd tried to walk away from a market trader 😒

newamsterdam · 16/10/2023 21:40

LittleMissUnreasonable · 16/10/2023 18:54

@newamsterdam Well after the hotel said the going rate for an airport taxi is 10, and Uber/Grab apps confirm this, it's REALLY kinda obvious the angry taxi driver was trying to rip me off by saying the ride would be 15. Should I have just handed him the money to not be racist. Am I really being nasty by wanting to browse a market at my own pace and saying no thank you. I think you're clutching at straws here.
As an Eastern European who has had more than their fair share of racism, I think you have no idea what you're on about.

Edited

I absolutely know what I'm talking about and the bang of racism is getting stronger every post....

Fogwisp · 16/10/2023 21:45

Mistressanne · 16/10/2023 14:28

My dn and her dh got locked in a shop in Turkey until they bought something.
They were terrified.
My dn was raised in Cairo so it's not like she doesn't understand the culture.
Some shopkeepers are a*holes.

Show quote history

That's happened to friends of mine in Camden, too. Think it's a criminal thing rather than a culture thing. Or a criminal culture thing.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/10/2023 21:55

Been hassled constantly in Jamaica (told I was racist for not buying bead necklace)

Same happened in Gran Canaria. The technique was to give a big smiley hello and a hand to shake, except watching showed that the real aim was to hold onto the hand, slap on a bangle and start demanding money

Accusations of racism followed if the shake was refused, and it's amazing how many fell into line with stuttered apologies Confused

threecupsofteaminimum · 16/10/2023 21:59

Baseball cap pulled low and no eye contact is my advice.

HRTQueen · 16/10/2023 22:08

You are a walking wallet and they will view you as having lots of money to spend this is part of having the freedom and money to travel its a luxury to few of the worlds population

Sri Lanka some places are not so safe especially for western lone women plus it’s just not understood that you may wish to do such things alone

10HailMarys · 16/10/2023 22:36

That’s the culture of the country you’re visiting. Don’t go there if you don’t like it. You can’t possibly expect the people to change the way they behave in their own country just because you - a random person who has decided to go there for a week - don’t like it.

If you’re bothered by people doing things differently to what you’re used to, stay at home. It’s your problem, not the problem of the people whose country you’ve decided to visit.

Kendodd · 16/10/2023 23:03

Oh God! I remember Tangers 25+ years ago. You couldn't step outside without a 'guide' accosting you, then you spend ten minutes insisting you don't need a guide by which time they've turned nasty and demand money for escorting you to wherever you now are. I think time share sales people had a similar reputation in Spain in the late 80s. My young teenage daughter was reduced to tears in a similar place by a women grabbing her hand and starting to henna it against her will with what looked like a syringe.

And for posters saying it's just the culture and people complaining are racist, no it isn't. They don't harass the locals, they target the tourists, nobody was talking about normal haggling over price. There were plenty of Brits doing the harassment trying to sell time shares back in the day. Do they also get let off because of culture?

FoleyHuck · 17/10/2023 01:56

@Kendodd The OP was literally talking about normal market traders getting your attention and haggling over price, which is a very standard part of some cultures. In fact I remember British markets as a kid where various stall holders would shout to get attention on them and talk people in with their amazing 'deals'.

We've walked through markets this week with our local guide (very obviously local, dressed in a traditional way) and granted the souvenir people have largely left him alone but those selling snacks and cold drinks are yelling for his attention just as much as ours.

Mercurial123 · 17/10/2023 04:01

LittleMissUnreasonable · 16/10/2023 18:54

@newamsterdam Well after the hotel said the going rate for an airport taxi is 10, and Uber/Grab apps confirm this, it's REALLY kinda obvious the angry taxi driver was trying to rip me off by saying the ride would be 15. Should I have just handed him the money to not be racist. Am I really being nasty by wanting to browse a market at my own pace and saying no thank you. I think you're clutching at straws here.
As an Eastern European who has had more than their fair share of racism, I think you have no idea what you're on about.

Edited

You're taking this way too seriously. This happens to EVERYONE who travels to Morocco, Turkey, many parts of Asia/Middle East etc. So, what a taxi driver attempted to charge you an inflated price. Move on and enjoy your holiday.

Original poster
LittleMissUnreasonable · 17/10/2023 07:34

You're taking this way too seriously.
@Mercurial123 Nah I'm just defending myself from being accused of being racist by @newamsterdam . But newamsterdam seems to repeating the same phrase without explaining how I'm being racist or actually listening to what I'm saying so I assume they're a bit dim and I'm going to ignore them now.

Thanks to those intelligent enough to see between the lines and understand what I mean.

OP posts:
Kendodd · 17/10/2023 08:14

FoleyHuck · 17/10/2023 01:56

@Kendodd The OP was literally talking about normal market traders getting your attention and haggling over price, which is a very standard part of some cultures. In fact I remember British markets as a kid where various stall holders would shout to get attention on them and talk people in with their amazing 'deals'.

We've walked through markets this week with our local guide (very obviously local, dressed in a traditional way) and granted the souvenir people have largely left him alone but those selling snacks and cold drinks are yelling for his attention just as much as ours.

Yes, you're right. I was going to come back to add another line about what the OP described just being normal sales talk but was too tired so went to bed.

rookiemere · 17/10/2023 08:15

I appreciate you posting OP. I absolutely hate being harassed or haggling- both DH and I walk away from any restaurant where they won't let you look at the menu in peace.

I had planned to go to Asia in next year or so, but am put off by people reporting that this is a cultural thing that everyone does. I wonder if we can avoid most of it by not doing any shopping.

HairyMaclairey · 17/10/2023 08:35

I think with haggling it’s best to just look at something and say to yourself, “I’d pay X for that”, and if you are asked silly money, just walk away.

I lived in Asia for years, so I’d like to think I was a bit street wise there. There is a lot of poverty in places, but the best thing you can do is support employment. A lot of it is down to government corruption, and there’s not a lot you can do about that.

I did find that there was a mindset of “rip off the Westerners, they are so stupid”. You learn by getting burnt a few times, and wising up. After a few incidents I started to say, “ <destination> please. Is your metre on? Or, how much is it? Which route are you taking?” Then, if it seemed like I was about to be scammed, I’d say, “no, that’s not right, go this way please”.

Aside from some people trying to extract as much money out of foreigners as possible, it’s actually a great place.

BerriesNutsConkers · 17/10/2023 08:44

The way to shut this down is to say NO and ignore unwanted questions.
Don't engage.

Branleuse · 17/10/2023 08:52

I'm autistic too and hate pushy hagglers on holiday or anywhere. Can't cope with chuggers either. I just find it so stressful. I went to Marrakech once and day one I was really wanting to explore the souks, but nearly ended up buying a massive fucking carpet. We got more savvy by day 2 and by day 3, just wasn't giving eye contact and batting people away. I think the politeness of British people at times is mistaken for interest. It's entirely cultural and just need strategies to not get stressed out, otherwise you might miss out on some really interesting places

SallyWD · 17/10/2023 08:55

OP - you're absolutely right not to like it. I travel to countries where you get hassled a lot (because in-laws live there) and I really dislike it.
However, the fact is that's just how it is. It's unlikely to change in our lifetime. If you don't like it, don't go. Don't take what they say seriously. If some says you're racist they're just trying to guilt you in to spending money. Don't waste 5ile dwelling on it.
As many others have said, just don't engage. Say no thanks and keep walking. If you get involved in a conversation they'll just keep going on and on at you.

RosesAreRedRight · 17/10/2023 09:05

This is standard for places like Bali. You need to research cultural norms where you’re travelling to if these type of interactions bother you and plan in advance how you’re going to handle it. Like at the market looking at a scarf, DON’T pick it up or show too much interest if you don’t want to get into a discussion about it, or just go to a fixed price shop to shop.

Getting out of your comfort zone and learning to deal with unexpected situations that are unfamiliar are part of travel, try and look upon differences as a learning opportunity to a change to embrace, rather than something unpleasant to hide from.

caoixr · 17/10/2023 09:11

Lol totally normal. Maybe stick to something you are more used to? Maybe ex Soviet countries where customer service is notoriously lacking and people are generally unfriendly. It sounds like that is more your vibe.

CrazyCatLover · 17/10/2023 09:15

Meh, I don't like it. But travelling to Asia actually made me more assertive, I'm not afraid to say no now!
It's just the way it is there, a totally different culture that takes a little while to get used to. Just say no and carry on walking. Remember a lot of them are desperate to make money for their families so you can understand their persistentance.
The Thai locals I encountered were the friendlest people I've ever met. I did narrowly avoid a couple of scams though.

GCAcademic · 17/10/2023 09:23

rookiemere · 17/10/2023 08:15

I appreciate you posting OP. I absolutely hate being harassed or haggling- both DH and I walk away from any restaurant where they won't let you look at the menu in peace.

I had planned to go to Asia in next year or so, but am put off by people reporting that this is a cultural thing that everyone does. I wonder if we can avoid most of it by not doing any shopping.

You can definitely avoid the worst of it by not doing any shopping. But there are such beautiful things to buy in Asia! They do have plenty of fixed price shops as well, though, and those are much more relaxed, though you can expect to pay a bit more.

menopausalmare · 17/10/2023 09:28

I went to Turkey years ago and was fed up of the constant pestering. I wouldn't go back for that reason.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/10/2023 10:19

newamsterdam seems to repeating the same phrase without explaining how I'm being racist

This happens a lot on Mumsnet, @LittleMissUnreasonable, and is best ignored - apart from perhaps noticing that despite the claims, not a single post has been deleted by the mods who are pretty good at dealing with this sort of thing

By all means call out real racism - I do it myself too - but let's not allow silliness to disrupt yet another thread