Getting hassled on holiday by locals

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

I've arrived on holiday a couple of days ago and can't believe how off-putting to business some of the locals are. The two main examples so far;

• Going to a market to have a look around, and wanting to buy some gifts.

Market trader: "Madam do you want to buy this scarf" Me: "No thanks just looking at the moment" "I can give you a good price" "No thank you" "I can sell for x" I end up just walking away as I have ASD and can't concentrate on what I actually want to buy and it's overwhelming someone getting in my face trying to sell something I'm not looking at.

Second scenario was a taxi ride
"When are you going home, I can do airport taxis"
"22nd, we have a taxi sorted thank you"
"I can do it for 15 ( example amount, much higher than our booked one)
"No thanks, we have it booked cheaper for 10 " (true)
"I can do it for 12.50"
"No thanks , we have a cheaper one booked"
He then gets arsey and moody so we have a quiet journey. 5 minutes later he hands us a business card and asks us to contact him if we need a driver. Yeah sure, a miserable man who tried to offer an inflated price for a journey we already sorted, and got irritated we didn't accept...

I don't want to name the country because I don't want to give bad opinions to someone who might want to go, but it's Asia (the Thailand/Indonesia/Malaysia/Philippines sort of vibe). But Im surprised that people think this is a way to get business. I saw loads of people looking at the markets before being scared off by persistent sellers.

Does anyone else feel the same?

that's not true. Some very touristy spots in Europe have the same sellers, illegal in most cases, but just as aggressive.

Female or Men, before the poster above started another rant.

Unfortunately, it's part and parcel of experiencing another country's culture. That said, my sister is autistic and would NEVER visit a crowded market in a foreign country. She knows that this environment, even in her own country, would be too overwhelming for and would stay away.

As others have said, avoid overtly engaging with people where you feel you might become 'pressurised', if that means avoiding eye contact and ignoring a hustler, then so be it. Do what you have to do to keep within your comfort zone.

I'm not convinced it is always just a difference in culture- I think quite often these people look out for someone who looks like they will be easy to get money out of (either because they don't know better or will feel obliged to pay even if they know it's too high). I am very pale skinned and every time I travel to certain holiday destinations I get more attention/hard sell from people trying to see me things than any of my darker skinned family and friends. I have been told by locals I have got to know that some traders look for pale skin as a sign of someone who has just arrived so less likely to know what they should be paying.

Fairly common in lots of destinations. Southampton taxi at our destination suddenly had no card machine but was happy to take any currency and had no change. Luckily for us I carry lots of change but didn’t tip him due to his attitude!

Turkey - almost manhandled into a restaurant.

Ireland - taxi apparently had no card machine although it’s a requirement. Unluckily for him we simply got out and took another taxi and he missed a good tip!

You just need to be prepared to expect this in all holiday destinations.

If I were living in a one room shack and had to feed my family on what I made that day- because most of those sellers are daily wagers- you can bet I would make a beeline for any pale skinned people, or anyone who looked they would be easy to get money out of. I wouldnt be thinking about their ASD or lack of.

You don't have to put up with sexual harassment-I am Asian and I don't- or bullying. But a certain amount of hard sell is inevitable.

Yes, I find it really difficult also and it puts me off shopping in certain places. I've never travelled in those areas you mention, but in London where I live there are many shops and market stalls run by people from all over the world and often different cultures have different ways of doing things. Bartering is common practice in many cultures as is hard-selling. If you've seen the Life of Brian bartering sketch you'll get the idea (it helps me to remind myself of that sketch to help me brush it off and laugh about it).

Of course in the UK it can be seen as unusually pushy and as I'm very shy it puts me off going to some shops.

I imagine it can be harder also for asd people as 1) many are used to be considered rude if they say clearly how they feel or what their boundaries are and 2) it can be harder for some to be sure of their reading of the social mores or situation.

As for the sexism part, it's probably how these sellers sell to males also, but naturally it can be harder for a woman to feel safe or comfortable saying no assertively and possibly some male sellers take advantage of that, whether intentionally or unconsciously.

I think it's a cultural difference and as others have said just saying no thank you firmly and repeating while walking away should suffice. The broken record technique could perhaps help you to avoid giving away information about yourself or what you're doing (repeating what you want to say in slightly different words, rather than justifying or explaining yourself).

This is totally normal and not “hassling” at all for the regions.

Being shown their daily good offer and haggling are part of market culture in many Asian countries.

It is etiquette in some countries to use the same taxi for airport transfers though, which would explain the grumpiness of the taxi driver.

In some countries they are very aware that travellers from UK and “western” / first world countries will have comparatively much more money than they do, due to exchange rates etc and other factors.

So they’re obviously going to try to cash in.

You just have to be firm, not engage, and walk away. It’s like chuggers and cold callers at home!

That's...just going on holiday abroad?

Every single market in every country. Europe or further afield.

I thought you were going to talk about OTT sexual harassment in some countries.

This is quite normal.
We ve been followed around markets in Thailand with traders trying to sell us something.
A fight between traders even broke out when my sons were shopping as one trader felt they had more right to our custom than others.

In Sri Lanka whilst walking to a gem store a taxi driver drove beside us all the way insisting he could take us to ‘ a better place’.

Yes it feels intimidating
Yes it’s annoying
Just keep it polite and walk away.

Worse than market traders IME are time share touts.

Worst of these we ever encountered was in Tenerife, mainland Spain and Hawaii of all places where it was horrendous albeit quite a few years ago.
Hugely aggressive!

Never had issues with any oppressive selling in Thailand, Japan or Singapore.
I suspect OP may have been talking about Sri Lanka or possibly Malaysia if in Asia and further afield.

This is a bit weird…if you’re not into this then don’t go to a place where it’s culturally the norm.

Every time I go to a Caribbean island this happens at the airport.

I leave DH to sort out or ride to the resort. I walk outside to smoke. I watch a group of cab drivers sort of nod at each other. One walks up to and asks if I need a taxi. I say no…my husband is on it. I then get the sly ‘do you smoke other things? I smile and say not since I was a teenager then we chat for a bit until my DH walks over and the driver says a quick goodbye and runs away.

My takeaway from this is I must look sketchy and my DH looks like a cop (he does). And this is perfectly normal in the Caribbean. I know to expect people trying to sell me things. I am the person that will buy random bracelets or carvings from people because they need that $5 a helluva lot more than I do. I once gave a guy $5 for a demonstration on grass basket weaving because I didn’t have the $20 he was asking for the finished bowl (and I really wouldn’t have spent that much even if I did) and he was a decent guy.

But I’m not going to get pissy because someone is trying to make a living. (Now the chicklet kids in Mexico are a whole different story… those kids do get on my nerves)

Your post essentially says "I went to a foreign country and I don't like some of their customs and that they don't act in the same way we do."

You are of course entitled to that opinion. Just don't go back there.

I've lived in some of the places mentioned - be firm, polite and refuse to get drawn in. In the same way that you don't need to run faster than the bear, just faster than the other guy: you just need to seem less likely and more hassle to sell to than the next tourist 😂

TBF, I have also had this in Paris with roses next to the Eiffle Tower, pretty sure it happens everywhere - though places where wealth inequality is greater makes it more likely, I suspect.

It sounds very normal to me, have you not been to a country where it happens before? Especially post Covid, a lot of people who rely on tourists have struggled. Just walk away or say no thanks.

Paris, Rome, and Spain all had really aggressive ’sellers’. Sellers in quotes because it was always a little hard to tell who was just hustling and who was pickpocketing. From what I observed there was a good mix of the two.

The issue is yours. If you don’t like the way people do things in their country, don’t go to their country.

Damn those foreigners refusing to abide by U.K. norms. Don’t they know that a self-service check-out machine is all we can cope with? Even supermarket check-outs where you might have to exchange the odd word with a human person are too much for us Brits!

It's just how it is in many places. If you don't like it, don't go. It's not going to change.

Have a day off. We're in Indonesia now and every single market trader that has called out and tried to persuade me to look or buy has been a Woman.

OP, it's simply part and parcel of the culture of some countries.

Agreed - common in many countries. Just ignore/walk away. Don’t let it spoil a visit to some of the most amazing places in the world.

This!

You seem surprised OP, plenty of countries try the hard sell tactic by default. Plenty of countries expect haggling by default as well. You’ve obviously had a bit of a culture shock but you are coming across ignorant and rude. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or that it’s “harassment”.

Ah I remember the good ole markets in Turkey when I was a child. Anything you want at many prices the further you walk away the cheaper it gets till they click the next person.

You just have to be firm.

It's one of the reasons I would not choose to visit many countries for a holiday.

This kind of thing just spoils everything for me - I would be on edge all the time.

It absolutely would stop me either browsing or buying anything, so it's totally counter-productive. I've never understood why people (who after all, want Western tourists to buy their stuff) don't get this!

And it's the same in the UK. If I go to a shop or visit a market stall where the owner immediately starts the 'hard sell', I'm off in a flash. I will buy if allowed to browse in peace. If I need any help, I'll ask.