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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this a threat or am I being ridiculous?

53 replies

StaceyTweedle · 15/10/2023 20:42

Have you ever met someone who really scared you to the core?
I think I have, and the bastard has his claws in my sister, who has a history of abusive relationships.

I'll be honest and admit that I had a bad feeling from the start but I can't explain why. After this weekend I can, even if I will sound like a hysterical shrew.

We had a family event and he joined yesterday, and we ended up talking at some stage when we were both outside. Smalltalk, I asked him about work etc when he suddenly said "I usually get what I want, and when I don't get it then I make sure that nobody does" and smiled.

I know that this sounds ridiculous but it really scared me, and I can't think of any reason why he would have said this apart from knowing that I don't like him. Is there something I am missing, any reason why someone would say something like this? I might be overly sensitive because of my sister's background but I honestly can't think of a single good reason why he'd say such a creepy thing.

OP posts:
OhComeOnFFS · 15/10/2023 20:43

He sounds terrifying!

Does she know anything about his history?

Coldinscotland · 15/10/2023 20:43

Have you Googled him op? Once had cause to Google a man and was quite horrified with what I found online very easily..

happyinherts · 15/10/2023 20:45

He's a nasty man - end of.

Gardeningtime · 15/10/2023 20:56

Honestly I’d not be scared or terrified as a pp said, but I would think he’s either a complete wanker and think that’s impressive, or he’s nasty piece of work.

Whataretheodds · 15/10/2023 20:59

I would try to get a Claire's Law search on him or encourage her to.

pictoosh · 15/10/2023 21:06
Sebastian Pufpaff Finger GIF by Heute-Show

Did you not just....

Missikat13 · 15/10/2023 21:13

I would say trust your gut reaction... It's usually correct and he sounds horrendous. I'd also do a Claire's Law search too.

anon0007 · 15/10/2023 21:13

pictoosh · 15/10/2023 21:06

Did you not just....

GrinGrin

anon0007 · 15/10/2023 21:14

He sounds like a cunt op.

Claire's law and tell your sister he's a creep.

Pinkshoppingbag · 15/10/2023 21:20

Sounds like the kind of thing an abusive man says before he murders his kids to get at his ex.

Original poster
StaceyTweedle · 15/10/2023 21:31

He was trying to freak me out, right?
Tbh I'd normally brush it off if it wasn't for her history

OP posts:
junbean · 15/10/2023 21:33

I've experienced a lot of DV so this sounds terrifying to me.

NineteenOhEight · 15/10/2023 21:44

I’m with @pictoosh — I’d probably have smothered a laugh and said ‘Yes, that’s exactly the attitude I look for when I’m on an interview panel.’

I mean, with your sister’s relationship history, I can imagine why you’d be cautious, but isn’t it just as likely he’s one of those deluded types who thinks he’s Maximus the gladiator or the Wolf of Wall Street, when in fact he’s a 3D photocopier salesman from Biggleswade who’s afraid of his line manager?

Original poster
StaceyTweedle · 15/10/2023 22:20

I don't know, I did feel scared. But maybe I am overreacting then.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 15/10/2023 22:23

He sounds awful, your gut instinct is there for a reason.

Dustpantsandbush · 15/10/2023 22:25

He sounds like a fucking twat.

Avatartar · 15/10/2023 22:28

Stick his photo on fb and ask if anyone knows your sis’ new boyfriend! Get Claire Law disclosure and google him

Purplecatshopaholic · 15/10/2023 22:28

I’d keep an eye on this given your sis is vulnerable. He might just be a twat but there could be something more sinister going on. Don’t tell her you are being watchful - she won’t listen and will tell him which will make it worse…

contactme · 15/10/2023 22:29

Is he aware of her past relationships?

statetrooperstacey · 15/10/2023 22:30

“ calm down Steve , there’s usually enough roasties for everyone “

Aitrop · 15/10/2023 22:32

Sounds like the kind of thing macho wankers come out with to sound ‘ard, despite being wracked with self-loathing. What an absolute tool he sounds.

BeverlyBrook · 15/10/2023 22:32

Listen to your gut instinct.
Be wary.

Original poster
StaceyTweedle · 15/10/2023 22:34

How/ where would I post his picture on facebook? I am a bit confused by this?
Yeah he is aware of her history because she told him, and she was so pleased how nice and understanding he was when she told him. At least that's what she told me.
Thanks all, I didn't realise I could request information on Claire's Law as someone who was not in a relationship with said person.

OP posts:
WheekWheekWheek · 15/10/2023 22:38

He sounds a right twatbadger. At best.

I would limit your contact with him as much as you can but keep an eye out for your sister if she needs you.