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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a bad neighbour? :/

285 replies

GM99 · 14/10/2023 22:51

I have recently bought a top floor flat in a victorian conversion in London. When I moved in, the previous owners left me a lovely note with really useful information including that the original floorboards were still in tact if I wanted to rip the carpet up. There was carpet in the hallway, on the stairs, on the landing and in the study. The carpet was pretty gross so I made the decision to have the floorboards reclaimed and someone came to rip out the carpets.

In the meantime, I met the neighbours downstairs - a couple in their 30s, no kids, he works from home full time and she works in an office full time. I've only had conversations with him. He's taken a couple of parcels in for me while I have been at work. He came across fairly relaxed and relatively friendly but I noticed he kept asking questions about what I was planning to do with the flat...which I did find a bit annoying because I got the feeling he was only talking to me to see, basically, how annoying a neighbour I was going to be rather than genuinely being friendly. He told me that the previous owners were a couple with a son with learning difficulties and the son used to bang and stamp really loudly on the floor which they found very difficult so they liaised with the neighbours who agreed to get carpet and some kind of soundproofing. I only found this out after getting the carpets ripped out. I asked him if I was noisy and he was like 'oh no no, everything is fine'. I said I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable and that he should let me know if there were any issues.

Anyway, this morning I got a text message from him and his partner asking me to come round for drinks to discuss the flooring as they said they had noticed that it was much more noisy since I ripped the carpet out. I've agreed to go over but I'm not sure how I feel about the whole situation.

Firstly, I'm single, in my late 30s and live by myself and live a quiet lifestyle. I'm not running around having a rave every night so even though I understand they can probably hear me when I'm walking around, is it unreasonable of them to start interfering in how I decide to go my flat up - ie getting the floorboards reclaimed? What is a reasonable amount of noise for them to deal with? Given the nature of the flats and how they have been built, it's highly doubtful that all noise can be eliminated. I'm concerned they are going to try and persuade me into getting soundproofing which I can't afford. I work from home 2-3 days a week. I can understand it may have been a bit noisy recently as I have just moved in and have been getting people over to provide quotes on flooring, painting and decorating etc.

Any thoughts/opinions would be greatly appreciated :)

OP posts:
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5
BananaPyjamaLlama · 15/10/2023 02:33

When you go and have a chat with them - get a friend to hang out in your flat whilst you do........ and have the friend walk about on the floor, maybe drop a book, walk about some more.

That way you will hear for yourself how you sound.
And........ get some rugs. Living below someone who hasnt got carpet isnt fun.

comfyshoes2022 · 15/10/2023 02:42

I think the downstairs couple sound a bit unreasonable. On the one hand, yes, noise is super annoying. You should do what you can to be considerate, which may include rugs among other things. On the other hand, the fact that he told you the people you bought the place from had a special needs son who stomped a lot raises red flags for me. That sounds like the complaint of a high-maintenance individual. Why is he telling you this unless he’s unusually sensitive? Noise is annoying, sure, but you have to expect there will be some noise in a downstairs flat, and some upstairs families will just be loud. To complain about it to the person who just moved seems like something only a difficult person would do.

mushti · 15/10/2023 02:45

Purpose-built blocks of flats have rigid concrete floors. Old Victorian houses converted to flats have thin floorboards laid directly over wooden joists that are springy and amplify footsteps like a drumskin amplifies a drumstick.

k1233 · 15/10/2023 03:52

Maybe they could sound proof their ceiling. Regardless of who lives in your flat, having someone live above you will always result in noise coming through the ceiling.

Tryingmybestadhd · 15/10/2023 04:07

Tell them you suffer from bad asthma and can’t have carpet . Want peace and quiet go and live rural !

Bimblebore · 15/10/2023 04:21

Yep, you're a bad neighbour. Bare wooden floors above maketh a very, very bad neighbour. Not cool at all.

ActDottie · 15/10/2023 04:25

My understanding is wooden flooring is a massive no in flats because of this. I can’t believe you took the carpet up!

Coyoacan · 15/10/2023 04:59

I live in Mexico and we all have wooden floorboards in our apartments and you can't hear a thing from the people upstairs. Maybe there is a way to fix your floorboards so that noise does not travel.

ElderlyPerson · 15/10/2023 05:06

But OP @GM99 says
"There was carpet in the hallway, on the stairs, on the landing and in the study. The carpet was pretty gross so I made the decision to have the floorboards reclaimed and someone came to rip out the carpets."

So there was no carpet on the living room or bedroom floor when OP moved in. I can't see how much noisier it can be now since she removed the carpets.

custardcreme77 · 15/10/2023 05:35

ElderlyPerson · 15/10/2023 05:06

But OP @GM99 says
"There was carpet in the hallway, on the stairs, on the landing and in the study. The carpet was pretty gross so I made the decision to have the floorboards reclaimed and someone came to rip out the carpets."

So there was no carpet on the living room or bedroom floor when OP moved in. I can't see how much noisier it can be now since she removed the carpets.

That’s a good point.

nibblessquibbles · 15/10/2023 05:48

As PP have said, Victorian conversions will often have wooden floors, a gap for joists and then ceilings. So basically it amplifies noise.
Noise is like water, It will also find any gap to come through. In our old flat which was converted, I could hear the adjacent neighbour watching TV when sleeping in the bedroom. We soundproofed every wall to the max but it didn't help. The experts said we would need to carpet both us and neighbours ideally if we wanted no noise. We moved.
So the other problem may be if their sleeping areas are below your living areas. Even as a single quiet person, you may be just watching TV or making noise when they are trying to get to sleep. So maybe find out from them what specifically is bothering them, as it may be one room rather than the whole flat

Tartareistasty · 15/10/2023 05:51

I lived in victorian converted and lucky for me it was only room I rented so I could leave with simply a month notice that time...
It's not just walking you can hear 😶 Had the same in old victorian sharedhouse as well. You could hear the one non carpetted bedroom downstairs.

if you want wooden look, a proper quality underlayer and wooden look top would help. But bear timber is just not enough.

I think old owners had their little revenge on noise complaint with that note.

Thegoodbadandugly · 15/10/2023 06:41

Do your flooring the way you want and put a thick rug down problem solved.

Whisperingangel1 · 15/10/2023 06:44

Going against most people on here. We bought a ground floor flat. There was a basement flat underneath us. On the day we moved in the lady in the basement flat came out to tell me we couldn't change the flooring and that it was in the lease. The existing flooring was old wooden laminate flooring. We checked the lease and there was nothing in there that stipulated you couldn't have wooden flooring. We changed all of it to more modern wooden flooring but put sound proofing down. No complaints about noise. Just check your lease. It's your flat and if your lease allows it then do it. I've lived in other victorian houses converted into flats and they had wooden flooring (1st floor). Also you want to feel comfortable in your own home. I'd be weary of engaging with difficult neighbours. I wouldn't tell them what you're planning to do to flat, tell them the bare minimum. Just say you've bought lots of rugs as a compromise. Our basement flat lady is a nightmare. She contacts us on a weekly basis to complain about something "rubbish in wrong bins, not enough bins, communal garden untidy, communal hallway has bike in, etc" - it's never ending. She's also retired so plenty of time on her hands to think of things to complain about.
We've lived in a ground floor flat in a converted victorian house before and that was carpeted. Basement flat neighbour used to complain that us getting up in the morning at 7am to get ready for work woke up his wife who didn't work.
I think noise tends to travel in old flats and some people just need to accept it or go live in a detached house.

Whisperingangel1 · 15/10/2023 06:47

Maybe if your neighbour is (an unreasonable prick) sensitive to noise suggest the buys some noise cancelling headphones.

SquashPenguin · 15/10/2023 06:53

I lived beneath a couple who ripped up their carpets, I could hear them on the toilet. I ended up leaving a few months later, it became unbearable.

JMSA · 15/10/2023 06:55

Holy moly, what a couple of fusspots they are!
I live in a Georgian flat and when in my living room, I can hear every single footstep of my elderly upstairs neighbour. It doesn't bother me and it wouldn't occur to me to complain. In fact, if I haven't heard her footsteps for a day or two, I text to see if she's alright Grin
I've always said that the day she no longer lives there, and a family moves in, I'll need to move out.
But the noise from one considerate neighbour (you, OP!) is not enough to be moaning about. They sound hypersensitive to their environment.

Unithorn · 15/10/2023 06:57

the fact that he told you the people you bought the place from had a special needs son who stomped a lot raises red flags for me. That sounds like the complaint of a high-maintenance individual

Admittedly there was no reason for him to tell OP this, but similarly I bet this was absolute hell for them. Nothing to suggest someone is high maintenance because of this.

Op I agree with a PP to go into their flat and have someone walk around in yours and see what the noise is like.

2jacqi · 15/10/2023 07:01

there is night time noise and day time noise. Legally, I doubt the people below OP can dictate what the OP needs to have on her floor. People are allowed to make living noises for day to day and it doesnt sound as if she goes overboard with this. I think neighbours are just being picky and if they wanted silence they should have move to the country and bought a house instead of buying a flat!

LuisVitton · 15/10/2023 07:05

Wear slippers all the time. Send a bottle of wine down and apology note if others have been round making a noise (or ask them to leave shoes at door - most workmen do this ime). Don't scrape chairs or furniture.

Unithorn · 15/10/2023 07:06

2jacqi · 15/10/2023 07:01

there is night time noise and day time noise. Legally, I doubt the people below OP can dictate what the OP needs to have on her floor. People are allowed to make living noises for day to day and it doesnt sound as if she goes overboard with this. I think neighbours are just being picky and if they wanted silence they should have move to the country and bought a house instead of buying a flat!

Have you lived in a property as OP describes? I have an noise travels a lot even if someone is just doing everyday things. It's not about wanting silence, it's realising that living in a flat means there will be noise (as there still would be with carpeted floors) but also that there are others in the building and it's decent to at least consider them.

rwalker · 15/10/2023 07:07

Even something like putting a remote on floor causes a clatter
wooden floors are unbelievably noisy

in fairness I wouldn’t of realised this until we got them in kid’s bedrooms over lounge

your going to make there life a misery

samupnorth · 15/10/2023 07:14

I would not buy a downstairs flat if noise worried me. Not your problem OP, as long as you’re not stomping around . Your neighbours are the same sort of people who don’t buy business class seats and then moan about the passengers in adjoining seats in economy. Entitled.

samupnorth · 15/10/2023 07:15

If they would like to pay for the carpet of your choice , and if you’re happy to have carpet then that could be a compromise.

violetcuriosity · 15/10/2023 07:17

I would probably meet them half way and get a runner for the halls and a rug in the living room, that should cancel out a lot of the noise but tbf why did they buy a flat if they didn't want neighbours walking above them.

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