Am I a bad neighbour? :/

[GM99]

I have recently bought a top floor flat in a victorian conversion in London. When I moved in, the previous owners left me a lovely note with really useful information including that the original floorboards were still in tact if I wanted to rip the carpet up. There was carpet in the hallway, on the stairs, on the landing and in the study. The carpet was pretty gross so I made the decision to have the floorboards reclaimed and someone came to rip out the carpets.

In the meantime, I met the neighbours downstairs - a couple in their 30s, no kids, he works from home full time and she works in an office full time. I've only had conversations with him. He's taken a couple of parcels in for me while I have been at work. He came across fairly relaxed and relatively friendly but I noticed he kept asking questions about what I was planning to do with the flat...which I did find a bit annoying because I got the feeling he was only talking to me to see, basically, how annoying a neighbour I was going to be rather than genuinely being friendly. He told me that the previous owners were a couple with a son with learning difficulties and the son used to bang and stamp really loudly on the floor which they found very difficult so they liaised with the neighbours who agreed to get carpet and some kind of soundproofing. I only found this out after getting the carpets ripped out. I asked him if I was noisy and he was like 'oh no no, everything is fine'. I said I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable and that he should let me know if there were any issues.

Anyway, this morning I got a text message from him and his partner asking me to come round for drinks to discuss the flooring as they said they had noticed that it was much more noisy since I ripped the carpet out. I've agreed to go over but I'm not sure how I feel about the whole situation.

Firstly, I'm single, in my late 30s and live by myself and live a quiet lifestyle. I'm not running around having a rave every night so even though I understand they can probably hear me when I'm walking around, is it unreasonable of them to start interfering in how I decide to go my flat up - ie getting the floorboards reclaimed? What is a reasonable amount of noise for them to deal with? Given the nature of the flats and how they have been built, it's highly doubtful that all noise can be eliminated. I'm concerned they are going to try and persuade me into getting soundproofing which I can't afford. I work from home 2-3 days a week. I can understand it may have been a bit noisy recently as I have just moved in and have been getting people over to provide quotes on flooring, painting and decorating etc.

Any thoughts/opinions would be greatly appreciated :)

I think the person who works from home full time is noticing every tiny little sound. When you live in a bubble/don’t go out, it’s hard to see others perspectives. I.e. he’s fixated on the noise.

As somebody who lives in a ground floor flat of a Victorian house you are being very unreasonable. It’s torture

It would be my worst nightmare hearing someone walking around above me.

When you live in these sorts of circumstances, it’s always a good idea to put yourself in your neighbour’s shoes and see how it would honestly make you feel.

We don't.

You live in a Victorian property, you accept noise. Done. I do think people expect the silence of a detached house in a flat. I live in a Victorian house and the walls are extremely thin. We just get on with things and most of the time, it's quiet enough. Buy a rug for your bedroom and tell them you're buying large rugs which should help. I think they're just paranoid about you clomping around rather than there currently being a noise issue

Living in a flat always brings with it a certain amount of neighbour noise but it can be a point that is just intolerable. My bf lives in a Victorian conversion and he sound insulated the whole of his living room floor because it was noisy for the downstairs neighbours. Similarly, the whole building chipped in to pay for sound insulation for the floor in the communal hallway, because the basement flat were suffering from the noise from that. These sorts of considerate moves are the right ones, I think. It isn't nice to know you're causing disturbance for the people around you. Let alone the fact that your lease might stipulate carpeting, and you'll find your flat stays warmer in winter to boot!

When I first moved into a GFF, the upstairs knocked on my door to let me know to speak up if they ever disturbed me walking around. They had carpets especially for this reason. The next neighbours ripped up the carpet and the difference was unbelievable. The etiquette is generally to put in soundproofing if you have floorboards. Most leases specify this. At the very least you should consider rugs on the floor and reassure your neighbours who are understandably concerned. You’ve obviously never lived under a flat with floorboards above. Put yourself in their position, they’re being reasonable and have a right not to be disproportionately impacted by your choice of flooring.

I live in a house with laminate flooring. When my kids drop even a pencil upstairs it sounds like they’ve dropped a brick. I don’t hear their tvs at all but my youngest an often complains she can hear the downstairs telly. I don’t hear them moving about so much as shoes are pretty much never worn.

I did live in a flat briefly. The bloke upstairs regularly played his guitar at certain times. He had carpet but we could hear his foot tapping. You definitely need the patience of a saint to live in a downstairs flat permanently.

Previous owner should have written any conversations about the flat down during the sale.
I'm pretty sure they are in the wrong not telling you that this has been an issue

I have messaged you.

Having lived in a few of these type of flats in London, I can tell you the level of noise from wooden floors in a flat above is pretty bad. I had a banker who lived upstairs who used to work very early in the morning and come back really late at night - I could hear EVERY step he took. I was woken at 05:30am daily during the week for the whole time he lived there. He was just getting ready for work, walking from room to room, but the level of noise was incredible. I feel for your neighbours.

I'd be carpeting with accoustic underlay and a decent wool mix carpet. If, however, your lease doesn't prohibit floorboards you'll need to do some more work.
Get the floor boards lifted and install as much accoustic insulation as you can. Then lay something like this - Green Glue Noiseproofing Joist Tape - over the joists before the boards are relaid.
Carpets will keep your flat warmer. You will be amazed at the amount of draughts that will creep through the floorboards and under the skirting although this can be helped with Draughtex Floor board gap filler (helps with noise too).
Have I put you off yet?

Living below someone who has wooden floors is an absolute nightmare. Every tiny sound can be heard, even dropping a coin. My daughter had this experience and it was driving her to distraction. Thankfully, they moved and the new owner had carpets fitted.

How come people in every other European country manage to have solid floors with no issue then? We don't. To be honest I didn't ever experience the level of noise in the U.K. that I have in Spain. People are just more used to it here. If you live in an older flat the walls are like paper - I can hear my neighbour texting. Thankfully, wooden floors aren't that common here, because the insulation between flats is shocking. Sometimes it sounds like your neighbour is in your house. Wooden floors are becoming more common in newer buildings though and the problems are the same.

I live in a maisonette with wooded flooring, we did put some of the thinnish sheet insulation under the wood, it comes on a roll and wasn't very expensive so I didn't think it would do much. I've had a cold and been sleeping downstairs, directly below the main bedroom and haven't heard my DH wandering about at all, though he gets up at 5.00 every morning.

Sorry, not wooded but wooden!

How loud can a single woman wearing socks or soft slippers make?

Couldn't they add filler between the ceiling and your floor from their side?

How loud can a single woman wearing socks or soft slippers make?
You would be surprised 😂 swear to god my friend walks like an elephant. Dum dum dum. She is slim😂
But also the uninsulated floor lets other sounds through.
It's easier to add insulation from floor side than having to rip down ceilings ime

This is so bizarre to me, almost every flat I've been in has had wooden flooring. As you're not wearing shoes in the flat, how loud can it possibly be?
As there's nothing in your lease about it, you could ask if your neighbours want to split the cost of having the flooring lifted and a sound dampening underlay put down under it?

This is so bizarre to me, almost every flat I've been in has had wooden flooring.

Original or new/laminate with jnderlay. Massive difference

Very. Very. Very. Loud. I lived in an old victorian house growing up. As a teenager I insisted I wanted wooden floors in my bedroom. My parents agreed. It didn't affect me much as I was normally in my room. But my god if anyone else went in there when I was downstairs it sounded like a herd of elephants! And they were only walking across the room! And if anyone dropped anything it sounded like an earthquake!

Soundproofing in UK flats is awful. I lived in a variety of flats years ago before coming here, of various ages, and I don't recall ever hearing my neighbours.

Here it's rare that you don't get bothered with noise. I would not live in a flat or attached to anyone in the UK again.

can you either ask a friend to come round when you're planning on having the conversation with them, both as moral support but also you can ask friend to go and walk around in your flat while you're downstairs to see how loud it is. Other option is to have one of the downstairs couple (ideally if one is a woman/similar size to you) to do the same but obviously only if you're happy with them being in your home without you - you could keep them on video call?

At least then you can see if it is really bad or if they are just exaggerating, and if certain rooms are worse. Then perhaps you can carpet/rug some of them - I'd be reluctant to cover up all of the lovely floorboards personally but could compromise e.g. keep them in living areas and carpet elsewhere, and say you'll move to your bedroom by 10pm most nights (obvs you don't have to sleep that early but can just chill/watch tv or whatever) so they shouldn't be disturbed by wooden flooring in the living room while they are trying to sleep, because you won't be in there.

I think compromise is the key. I'd go in making clear that ultimately you are completely allowed to have whatever flooring you want in your own home rather than immediately apologising ad getting on the back foot, but you want to maintain good relations so you'll meet them part way if their suggestions are reasonable.

Tell them your getting a few rugs & when your home your nearly always barefooted so it won’t be a problem. If they whinge ignore them 😂

@Dwappy really!? I had no idea! I love the idea of pretty wooden floors in a light and airy flat but that sounds awful! Hopefully you got to move out! 😂