To say to DP "you are not putting on weight"

[P23678]

DP is 27 male. Works FT and WFH. He tries to do 10k steps every day (either before or after work) as his job is sedentary. Since we have had the warm weather, he has been living in shorts and t-shirts. Now with the colder weather incoming, he decided to wear more appropriate clothing. Yesterday, he couldn’t get his jeans buttoned up but his t-shirts, polo and shirts all still fit fine.

He said, I am putting on weight. I said, perhaps your body shape has changed or that's because you are sitting down a lot. He then went off looking worried and tried some other clothes on. Again, the tops were fine, just struggled to get the buttons done up on trousers and jeans.

His diet hasn’t changed much. He doesn’t snack during the day. Apart from the few biscuits and sweets after the evening meal.

He was a lot bigger last year, but made a conscious effort to drop around 3 stone. He was around the 13stone mark. He is now around 10st7lbs. 5feet 7 tall. So is conscious that he could easily go back to that size, if he is not careful.

He has said that he is going to write down everything he eats. Also, he said he is not having any biscuits and/or sweets before bed tonight. To see if that makes any difference.

Any ideas? Is it the WFH? and the fact that the 10k steps isn't enough activity?

It will be the biscuits & sweets before bed.

T-shirts and polos are stretchy. He’s clearly putting on weight, it’s sweets and biscuits as well as a sedentary lifestyle. 10k steps a day is not the same as taking proper exercise

I mean he probably has gained a few lb but so slowly that he you haven't noticed. Happens to everybody I think. Better him notice now and make healthy choices and cut back on the sweets and biscuits, especially as getting enough exercise and outdoor time gets harder with miserable winter weather. He's doing the right things, a food dairy is very helpful to a lot of people so they can see where or what times of day they are overdoing it. He should be mindful of liquid calories they always creep up on me, wine and latte!

It’s quite simple: if he’s putting on weight, it’s because he’s taking in more calories (a measure of energy) than he is expending. Presumably not too much more, so the gain has been gradual, but it all adds up.

If he eats a little less or moves a little more, things will change.

How many sweets and biscuits is he eating a day? One biscuit (depending on the type) can easily be 100 calories, so it doesn't take much to put on weight, especially if you're having them daily.

10k steps is good but generally it's the minimum people should be aiming for.

He said he had a few bourbons and BN smiley biscuits. As for sweets, he likes Reese’s and Drumstick Squashies.

he also told me that he eats nuts as well. Just straight from the packet.

I certainly don’t think he has gained. It doesn’t look visible at all. It’s only when he put his jeans on that it was noticeable.

What's the problem? He's put on weight and is going to track his food for a bit and cut out snacks.

If his jeans aren't doing up then he's put weight on 🤷‍♀️

10st 7 seems awfully skinny to me for a 5’7 man!

@YaWeeFurryBastard yes I agree. However, he prefers being slim. Especially after being overweight.

13.7st is not exactly obese for a chap his height! 10st is far too thin. You can still be slim and not healthy

@margotrose I said to actually do a workout. Something like circuit training or something extra. On top of the 10k steps.

10 stone isn't too thin for someone who is quite short. Maybe if he was 6'4"

Me too!

He sounds like he needs to build muscle.

If he is conscious of his weight, having lost a significant amount, does he not weigh himself on a regularish basis?
Surely he knows what weight he got down to at the 'end' of his diet, compared to what he weighs now?

10st 7 is perfectly healthy for someone 5’7.

Probably if he knocks off the biscuits and sweets after dinner each night he’ll be fine.

It would also be just good for his health to do 3 sessions of more vigorous exercise a week. Apart from the health benefits, he really isn’t heavy for his height, so it sounds like he is lacking in muscle - if he builds that up he’ll tone up too.

That isn't a 'skinny' weight for his height - it's healthy - but I think what's more of a worry is his reaction. You both sound as if you are hyper-conscious of the possibility of weight gain, which I totally get given that he's recently lost a substantial amount of weight. But I think, to have a healthy relationship with food/exercise, you both need to try to reduce behaviours that are all about monitoring weight.

Does he have an eating disorder?

Presuming he hasn't, why is it being made into such a big deal? Presuming he's eating healthily most of the time, either cut out the junk or accept he'll be a bit heavier and get done new jeans.

There no point saying he's not bigger than he was if his clothes are now too small. If it's not noticeable to you, tell him, but that doesn't change anything.

I just don't understand the drama over it.

Eat berries instead of biscuits and sweets.

Some people have to watch what they eat. I'm the same. I get a bit tubby. I make the effort to lose it. I'm delighted. It creepsback on. Intuitive eating means get gradually heavier. I need to keep an eye on what I eat. Your boyfriend sounds like me! I never eat biscuits or cake or sweets as they are kind of addictive (for me)
Just tell him you'll join him cutting out biscuits

There's nothing wrong with having a daily treat, like one biscuit and one drumstick but if he's eating several of each he'll soon rack up the calories.

I don't understand why you're asking? If his clothes are tight then he's probably put on a few lbs. Cut out the treats and up the activity.

@Spookymormonhelldream as I cannot see it. I guess as I see him everyday though. I am bound not to notice.

@Simplepimplechrimple Yes. He has a few biscuits every night. With a mug of tea, whilst watching tv. I think it has become a habit. Which neither of us has noticed!!