To say to DP "you are not putting on weight"

[P23678]

DP is 27 male. Works FT and WFH. He tries to do 10k steps every day (either before or after work) as his job is sedentary. Since we have had the warm weather, he has been living in shorts and t-shirts. Now with the colder weather incoming, he decided to wear more appropriate clothing. Yesterday, he couldn’t get his jeans buttoned up but his t-shirts, polo and shirts all still fit fine.

He said, I am putting on weight. I said, perhaps your body shape has changed or that's because you are sitting down a lot. He then went off looking worried and tried some other clothes on. Again, the tops were fine, just struggled to get the buttons done up on trousers and jeans.

His diet hasn’t changed much. He doesn’t snack during the day. Apart from the few biscuits and sweets after the evening meal.

He was a lot bigger last year, but made a conscious effort to drop around 3 stone. He was around the 13stone mark. He is now around 10st7lbs. 5feet 7 tall. So is conscious that he could easily go back to that size, if he is not careful.

He has said that he is going to write down everything he eats. Also, he said he is not having any biscuits and/or sweets before bed tonight. To see if that makes any difference.

Any ideas? Is it the WFH? and the fact that the 10k steps isn't enough activity?

can work out in-between work? It isn't always about food it's the lack of exercise

@P23678 ok yes that's fair enough. It's hard to notice these things as they are so gradual. It's only when we move into the new season wardrobe that it's obvious! eyes belly

I agree with PP - 10st 7lbs is a tiny man!!

@Spookymormonhelldream especially as we have had the warm weather around for a lot longer. He has just worn shorts and t-shirt. It certainly surprised us both.

Yabu for discouraging him from wanting to make healthy changes if he wants to.

I don't think 10st7 is tiny for his height especially if very little of it is muscle.

Dh is a very ordinary man build - Your dh is only a bit less weight but 4in shorter so he's probably got a bit of softness.

Can you see his pelvic V shape, even just faintly? Can you see any rib muscle lines when he lifts his arms? If no, he's probably got a bit of fat to lose and muscle to gain. We've lost perspective a bit of what a healthy weight/build looks like.

10st for a 6ft 4 man would be VERY thin! I'm slightly taller than op's hubby and as a woman his weight would still be healthy for me - not for a man.

OP may I ask the waist size of his jeans? It doesn't take much for jeans to stop fitting, especially mens as they don't tend to have the stretch that women's do. I'd be inclined to reassure him rather than encourage change. Tracking food intake is mentally healthy in someone who doesn't have a weight problem - and he doesn't.

If he's 5ft7, 10st7, that puts his bmi at 23 which is in the normal range. But if he can't do up his jeans then he's got too much visceral fat (a paunch) and not enough muscle. Visceral fat is bad news as a risk factor for other stuff. So it's not a case of needing to lose weight, just firming up, imo

@Caerulea yes of course. He wears a S or M for t-shirts/polo etc and his jeans are W30. I think you are right. They are definitely not a stretch jean. Which is probably why when they don't fit, they don't fit. You can't sort of squeeze or stretch them to fit in them. If that makes sense :)

DH was a 28 inch waist until about 20/21. He went up to a 30 inch waist in his early 30’s and then a 32 inch waist at 44/45. He is now mid 50’s and still a 32inch waist, toned and 11st at 5’9’’. He is a healthy BMI and accepting that bodies change as we age.

I know I wouldn't be going in about weight a man that skinny anyhow. I would gladly see my hubby put on weight but he can eat anything anytime and doesn't lol

At 27 he needs to be playing a sport or going to a gym. Not to be thinner but to build habits for future life as well as enjoyment. Then he could have a few treats.
Is he having much alcohol???

*typo in my other post, healthy should have said unhealthy

OK so for context - when my sons were about his height at between 12 & 15 they had 28w jeans & they are waifs of things. Waifs! So a fully adult man should be fine at 30/32w.

My hubby was 28w when I met him (skinny af) & 20ys later is 32w & fitter than he's EVER been.

A PP made the point of body's changing as we age, it's worth remembering. If he wants to do exercise then that's great for health reasons but I'd genuinely not encourage it for weight loss or for him to start worrying over food cos that way misery lies.

Never anything wrong with exercise, especially with sedentary job. I'd recommend a rounded approach, though. Flexibility and cardio type things, walking is nice but limited benefits.

I take a little exception to "accept bodies change as age". Very little changes that can't be countered to a large extent. Around 2010, when I 34, I got told to accept gaining a little weight 13 years ago, because it wasn't a lot. It wasn't, I only went up 1/2 a jean size, but I nipped it in the bud. 13 years later, still gone, and I'm starting to work hard on my flexibility and muscles. Both of those can still be developed and maintained to a high standard until very late in life

10 stone is a healthy weight for his height, I don't know why people are saying he is too thin! He isn't.

He needs to cut out the sweet snacks, and take more exercise to stay healthy though

DH is the same height and weight. His maximum weight (when he was 17, 40 years ago) was 11st2. His work is quite strenuous.
He absolutely hates putting on a couple of pounds, especially round the middle, which might happen if he has a rather lazy holiday and certainly happens every Xmas when he spends every day between Boxing Day and New Years in the sofa eating Toblerone.
I think it's because his father put on weight around the middle as he aged and became like a walking belly with 2 stick legs.
DH usually just stops eating crap, sticks to 3 healthy meals and is back into his W30 jeans within a few days.
Truth be told, I preferred him at 11st2.
But he probably preferred me at 9st10, which I haven't seen since 2001 and probably never will again.
Within reason, it's his body and if it makes him happy to be in W30 jeans then I'd support him to get there. But no further.

The query doesnt make any sense.

Surely the scales show if he has or hasnt put on weight?

The trousers being tight could actually be due to poor muscle tone if he has been sitting around a lot, posture etc.

He does sound on the slight size to me

I dont know why people blather on about steps for weight loss or weight maintenance. Steps are for activity, heart health and bone density, not losing weight

What’s the problem?

I have been the same weight my entire life, until 6 months ago. Up until then I’d be wearing a pair of jeans I’ve had for 15 years since I was 16.

Now my trousers are tight. I realised I was having a “dessert” every night which I haven’t ever done before. So I stopped. I’m still a size bigger but relatively static and so I’m happy with the change I’ve made.

Seems sensible your OH would do the same…

@bellac11 scales tell you weight, they don't tell you the distribution between muscle and fat, so a changing ratio could change your shape. How much so, I don't actually know. My understanding is that fat is lighter, so if you lost 200g of muscle and gained 200g of fat, your body is bigger. Someone else might know more info about that.

I do know, though that I am a similar weight now to what I was in 2005 and yet 32w jeans are a looser fit than they were back then. Its not much, but noticeable. I guess someone could experience that in reverse. Women lay down fat different during peri-menopause or after I forget which, that impacts shape too for different reasons

Yes I know thats why I said that if he is 'putting on weight' the scales will say

On the other hand by sitting around and losing muscle mass, this could have affected the way his jeans do up

Muscle weighs the same as fat though, a pound of muscle is a pound of fat.

What you mean is that muscle takes up less volume, so people who are more muscular tend to be more 'slim' but they might not weigh less. So fatter is bigger as you say.

There absolutely nothing wrong with that, it's a completely normal thing to do

@bellac11 yeah, that's what I meant, thanks for compensating for my poor choice of words :-) Scales used sensibly, tho not perfect are helpful. I do that myself just for my own comfort, partially because a few people incorrectly moan how I lost weight when I haven't. It can be a tiny bit unsettling sometimes

It certainly surprised us both.

You both sound weirdly obsessed with his weight.

I'm not sure it is normal to do this every night tbh. A few biscuits, every single night? That's multiple packets a week, per person. In a two adult household it would be at least 4 packs a week. Is it really normal to buy that many packets of biscuits in a weekly shop...?

DH is 5 feet 8 and comfortable at 9 1/2 stone...most of which is leg muscle lol (he's a racewalker)

God almighty. You have got to be joking?