To be angry with teacher about commenting on pupil appearance

[Drizzlydrizzle12]

What do you think about what this teacher said today. He's a supply until Xmas.

Recently when the children line up for assembly he's been saying about them being smart and commenting on their appearance saying they don't look smart enough.

Today he gave a reward point to a girl because she had really shiny shoes. They are that shiny leather material and some of the other children will never have shoes that material so I feel its unfair. They are yr6 so beginning to become aware of their appearance. I just think personally he shouldn't be doing this.

Also what about the children in the class who I know live in difficult circumstances and its not their fault that their uniform is messy. It just places more anxiety to them and points out the gap between the well looked after children and those who aren't. Aibu to be mad at the teacher?

That makes me sound about 90 😂

Way out of order, I was the scruffy child at school because of problems at home. I would have found this really hard.

I think that teachers should stop commenting excessively on children's clothing and appearance. And male teachers in particular need to think very carefully about what messages they are sending when commenting on girls' clothing or appearance. It's getting very weird indeed. This bizarre overly-controlling cult of uniform in the majority of British schools is making us look ridiculous, and is not helping to improve educational outcomes.

What people who have never been poor often don't get is that there can be quite a stigma around hand me downs and second hand uniform. You always feel like people know. I was also the scruffy kid, mostly because my mum had learning difficulties that had never been diagnosed and also as we didn't have hot running water or an inside loo until I was 11 and we moved. I'd have bloody hated this.

Give kids points by all means but personally I think the "being a good listener" or "working well in a team" type options are much less divisive. Despite what our current government and their supporters might think, sometimes people can't help being poor, and that goes at least triple for kids.

This

I work in a school. Do we check uniform/shoes comply with the uniform policy? Yes.

Do I make comments if a child is in dirty/scruffy/ badly fitting/broken uniform or shoes? No, and if it's a regular thing I bring it to the DSP in case the family needs some support.

Hey kid you get extra credit for having wealthy parents whilst scruff boy at the back with the charity box hand me downs no watch and needing a haircut what do your parents do buy food and electric rather than new clothes???? Demerit for you poor boy.

With respect how many children come from homes with DV or mental health issues that schools miss every year it's not just about second hand uniform being cheap but having parents capable of caring. You don't get to have shiny shoes if you're doing the housework or hiding from the shouting or violence.
If your parents have never taught you to clean your shoes aged 9 or 10 how are you suddenly going to know to do it many of these kids go to school not having their teeth brushed or any food. Don't get me started on the bullying and humiliation behind the numerous muffty days or dress in yellow etc I've had to loan children towels and dry them every evening last winter when the school put on daily swimming for 3 weeks.

Do people not clean shoes anymore?

I was taught how to do this at about 7 or 8.it then became one of my regular chores, clean school shoes before bed.

As an added incentive Brownies also had shoe inspection. We were far from well off, but I think clean shoes should be within everyone's reach and therefore worth praising and rewarding.

I had to make yet another report today for a child whose parents can't get themselves together enough to ensure he has his life saving medicine. His uniform? Basically non existent, but we ignore that because the priority atm is to keep him 1.alive and well and 2.in school where he is safe and well looked after.

Fucking shiny shoes.

I was taught

Enough said.

I can't stand a lot of teachers today

was this your education. shoe shining? kids don't know basic math today but their shiny shoes are of more concern?

exactly this and also, some parents are shit. they don't always take care of their children properly or at all. so judging a kid by some stupid standard reflects poorly on that pathetic teacher. don't expect every child to be in school coming from a good home. fucking teachers, i can't stand them.

What a strange response, @iovebread ??

Oh FFS. Did you not read the OP? She mentioned that a child had been given a reward for shiny shoes and implied that this was because the child had been bought a pair of shoes that were naturally shiny. My point was that clean shoes are within everyone's reach whatever their income.

But oh, yes of course, all I was taught at school was shoe shining! No my parents taught me that because we were not well off and needed to look after whatever we had.

A phrase I see an awful lot on mumsnet is "It's not a race to the bottom." So why doesn't this apply here. Some children unfortunately are in circumstances which compromise their ability to appear smart and clean at school. Does this mean that any expectation of clean and tidy appearance should be abandoned for all pupils? Obviously do not victimise the pupils in difficult circumstances. But is it really so unreasonable to suggest pupils of 10 or 11, with no known problems, should be able to turn up reasonably tidy, shirts tucked in, shoes clean, etc.

What's wrong with praising pride in appearance ?

OP if you work in this teacher's class I am guessing you are the TA perhaps? If his conduct in awarding these points goes against your school's policy and ethos, then I would suggest the kindest and most humane thing to do would be to tell him this in a friendly way, as he is probably just doing something he was encouraged to do at other schools:

"Bob, I know you are trying to do a nice thing and build relationships with the kids, but here we don't reward things like smart uniform, due to the levels of deprivation. Giving them points for......(insert appropriate school focus) might be a better way .....Not criticising at all, I know all schools are different so I just wanted to give you a heads up"

Or similar.

If this fails and he persists and you feel strongly enough about it I guess you need to mention it to SLT. It would be decent of you to give him a chance to adjust first.

You should only do this if he is going against school policy though. As we've established on here, some schools have a policy and ethos where smart uniform is rewarded, others don't. There are arguments for and against, of course - as any KS3 child who has been made to write an argumentative speech or essay for or against school uniform could tell you! (It's a popular choice of essay still as the arguments on both sides are so easy to grasp). But if it's just your personal view/preference you can't reasonably insist that he agrees. Some do, some don't - just the way it has always been.

Children get praise and rewards for good behaviour, neat handwriting, good homework, reading lots, good manners, doing well in class, listening to the teacher, putting rubbish in the bin etc. the list is pretty endless. The ones with inadequate parents are going to find all this stuff harder. Also the fact that they start school 2yrs behind their peers is going to be tough for them. What would be a completely fair thing to praise children for? Or are you suggesting there should be no praise in school?

These are 10 & 11yos. They are perfectly capable of cleaning the mud off their shoes, tucking in their shirts etc.

If he was making those comments to reception, then I'd object but by year 6, they should at least start thinking about whether they are tidy or not.

I'd be pretty relaxed about this, but object if he strays into comments about weight, acne, brands etc.

And what did you do about this dreadful occurrence? I mean you are there. In the classroom. An adult. Why not blooming say something if you don't think it is appropriate. You are the best one to advocate for this poor children you think are being humiliated.

I’m a TA in a year 6 class and I make a lot of comments to children about their appearance every day. I notice new hairstyles, remind them about the make up rule discreetly, ask them to wash their hands, notice muddy trousers, ask about cuts and grazes, remind them to wear or not wear their jumper for certain activities and comment also if they are looking really smart. I also notice when someone in the class doesn’t look as together as they normally do and try to get to the bottom of it. Our uniform is non compulsory but almost everyone wears it. When these children go to the local secondary schools their uniform will be compulsory and it will be checked every morning. My informal comments about their appearance reminds them that I see them, that I notice them as individuals and that I care.

Don't be ridiculous, tuck your shirt in , put your tie straight is teaching basic manners and reinforcing standards nothing sexual

Don't be ridiculous, tuck your shirt in , put your tie straight is teaching basic manners and reinforcing standards nothing sexual

I gave a reward point the other day to a kid for having a glue stick and a ruler. You’d hate me.