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Original poster

Child lost soft toy. Should I get another and fake it?

107 replies

Teddybear87 · 13/10/2023 12:06

My DS is almost seven. This summer, he lost his beloved jellycat soft toy. I’m considering getting a new one, and faking it. I would need to take its arm off and stitch it back on again a bit wonky and put it through the wash a lot of times to make it look “loved”!

I don’t know if that’s not a good thing to do. It’s lying, isn’t it?

And what if he can tell the difference?

He’s still devastated about it, and I’m heartbroken for him so am v tempted to do it. Because maybe he really needs that soft toy?

What would you do?

OP posts:
theculture · 13/10/2023 18:57

One child has 3 of her favourite toy after she realised we had two on a washing rotation that had begun to age differently and got another when on holiday and we thought we had lost one!

The other lost hers and after many tears we found a new replacement that arrived on DCs bed one night (a la the tooth fairy) with a message from the original asking DC to look after the new one . . .

Catopia · 13/10/2023 19:03

Todaysproblem · 13/10/2023 12:17

we had this happening when mine was about 5. I half faked it, I pretended the toy went on a holiday and came back beautiful, refreshed and looking like new (must’ve gone to Turkey)! She then found the old one somewhere, looked puzzled at both and I had to pretend it was the toy’s cousin visiting, it was a whole thing. 🙄

She’s 9 and still sleeps with the original toy and the ‘cousin’.

Thank you for sharing this, this did make me laugh!!

Danikm151 · 13/10/2023 19:09

You can try. My son lost one of his backups(3 of the same little lamb) so I got a new one. Now he declares he wants grubby lamby not the clean one. He’s 3… he knows 😂

BogRollBOGOF · 13/10/2023 19:35

Last year DS 9's little cuddly got bundled up in some bedding on holiday and we had to come back without it. DS was gutted, he'd bought it himself on camp. It really upset him for weeks and fortunately the site was local enough to contact and buy a replacement. I bought one in the other colour too- he'd originally bought that and lost that while on camp then had to buy the other colour.

He walked home from school and found the pair of them sitting outside on the doorstep waiting for him to let them in when he got home. He cried with happiness.

I left it open to him about whether these were new or had "come home". He knows, but it feels more like a continuation for him this way.

I wouldn't try and fake years of use, but if I could get away with something like sleeping with them to make them smell right, I'd consider that.

DS12's cuddly would be a total disaster to lose after 12 years of love and surgery. He sticks to safe things like sitting in my car while he's at school.

HowdidIgethereblownaway · 13/10/2023 21:33

I heard once from a mum she bougt a couple of new ones and even found a smaller one in the shops. It was a few months after. And she told her child the toy had to go find a mate and they had a baby, now it came back to find him! Child was so happy.
You can make up something like it went to the doctor to get a new arm, came back for him all new and better.

Original poster
Teddybear87 · 13/10/2023 22:07

happytobee · 13/10/2023 18:15

which is it? i’m in some jellycat groups as an avid collector myself and could ask for you

It’s the black and white dog - you can still get it from JL etc I’ve seen!

OP posts:
StarlightLime · 13/10/2023 22:09

HowdidIgethereblownaway · 13/10/2023 21:33

I heard once from a mum she bougt a couple of new ones and even found a smaller one in the shops. It was a few months after. And she told her child the toy had to go find a mate and they had a baby, now it came back to find him! Child was so happy.
You can make up something like it went to the doctor to get a new arm, came back for him all new and better.

Aw!

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 13/10/2023 22:22

It’s hard. Dd lost her comforter when she was 18 months. She couldn’t sleep without it and I ordered replacements which were nearly identical to the original one, 3 of them with 2 to go away just in case. Unfortunately 2 years later she found the spare 2 and now sleeps with bloody 3 of the feckers.

She found a small squishmallow type toy in a puddle outside school this week. Took it home in a tissue and it went through my washer. She even rescues toys misplaced in Aldi and puts them back in their correct aisle. She’d melt down if she lost one of her teddies.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 15/10/2023 17:03

DD2 lost her witch from the Julia Donaldson books. Bought a new one and popped it on the doorstep. She happily believed it had flown home.
I think he is too old to fake it but you could start a thread for people to post pics of toys they’ve found and rehomed.

any idea where he lost it?

Busyhedgehog · 15/10/2023 17:34

We lost DS's favourite toy rabbit in Belgium. I think we left it at the services. I found a replacement and had it delivered to where we were staying. Told DS the people at the services sent it over. It had a slightly different smell,...because it was new. However, DS accepted that the bunny had been travelling and he's none the wiser. We've got a second replacement in the loft.
I think he was 5 at the time and had had the bunny given to him when he was born.

Oysterbabe · 15/10/2023 17:37

I'd do it definitely.
My DD is 7 and would be absolutely heartbroken if she lost Doggy. I crocheted him a collar and put an airtag inside it because I couldn't bear it if he was lost.

Isthisasgoodasitis · 15/10/2023 17:38

Believe me he will know it’s better to allow him a special trip to buy a new something xx

saffronsoup · 15/10/2023 17:38

No, don't do that. One of your jobs as a parent is to support emotional development, and to help kids learn to live with difficult empotionsand cope with them. These little life lessons are what build resilience and allow kids to grow up and have better mental health due to being mentally stronger and better able to cope with what life deals to them and the negative and difficult emotions that are part of life.

It is okay for him to be sad. Help him cope with that sadness and find alternatives but don't lie and make up things.

Casperroonie · 15/10/2023 17:57

Problem is, they have can tell!!!!!

I got my eldest 2 of the same incase one went missing, when it did I pulled out the other one, gave it a bit of rough treatment , and she was able to tell in a split second. We found the original one later and even in the dark she can tell which is which!!! This is back when she was like, 2. Now she's 7 and can still tell them apart in a split second. We now have a rule though: toy NEVER leaves the bedroom.

Maybe get him another and tell him, as he'll probably find out....!

CurlewKate · 15/10/2023 18:07

My dd was 5 when she left Belle the Monkey in a London black cab. She did Lost posters about her and was so happy when she made her way home. She was 24 when she realised that her dad had been back to the Regents Park Zoo shop and replaced her.....

Kazzybingbong · 15/10/2023 18:44

I don’t think I could do this knowing it wasn’t the original but having to pretend, every day that it was. I couldn’t handle it 🤣

My daughter lost her dog toy ‘Sweetie’ in New York last Christmas and she still hopes that a kid picked her up and gave her a home. They are so attached to them 😭 she also cries for her hamster that died a year ago regularly. We have had two more since but they’re not Joey. RIP Joey Jesus.

Sennelier1 · 15/10/2023 19:12

I would do it, absolutely. Even give the old/new toy a good workout in the garden so it looks a bit exhausted from the long time away from home ❤️‍🩹

Sjh15 · 15/10/2023 19:53

Spencer0220 · 13/10/2023 13:46

I don't agree with everyone saying he's 7 and it shouldn't be a big deal.

My husband is 34. When he was 11 his mother decided he was too old for all his teddies and got rid of every single one. It absolutely traumatised him.

He was still affected by it when I met him nearly 20 years later.

The only thing that helped? My mother (without telling either of us) set about finding him a new teddy. From her. So that no matter what happens, nobody can take it away.

Trust me when I tell you, that 33 year old sobbed like a baby on Christmas Day when he opened that package. It will never undo what happened, but it went a long way to helping

I can't tell you what to do with your son. Only you know whether to replace new or fake it.

But if he's struggling? I'd do something.

This made me sob reading it. Your mum is an angel

MasterBeth · 15/10/2023 19:59

StarlightLime · 13/10/2023 13:06

I'd do it. He's 7, not 17. He still believes in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. Where's the harm?

The harm is, you're lying to him.

And plenty of 7 year olds don't believe in Santa.

hadrianswallsycamore · 15/10/2023 20:00

@Teddybear87 I lost a precious toy at 10. I was devastated but he wasn't replaced. I tracked one down on eBay and got bought him for my 42 birthday. I cried like a baby when I saw and smelt him. I have slept with it in my bed/under my pillow for 6 years. I would buy a replacement if I was you xx

Spencer0220 · 15/10/2023 20:30

Sjh15 · 15/10/2023 19:53

This made me sob reading it. Your mum is an angel

Show quote history

Thank you. She tries.

Dancingqueen2023 · 15/10/2023 20:43

Oh blimey, nothing worse is there. Going through this at the moment with a nearly eight year old. We know where it was lost and have let him send a message through to see if it can be found. TBH I don't think we could replace it without him realizing, he still buries his face in them for comfort x

MercyIsEliminated · 15/10/2023 22:10

There was a lovely thread many years ago about a little girl who lost her toy mouse. I think she was also about 7 years old. With the help of other MNers, the OP managed to acquire a replacement. Several MNers also sent postcards from the mouse to the child. It was a truly heartwarming story and the OP described how happy the little girl was when her beloved replacement mouse came home.

So I would say why not give it a try? It sounds as though your DS would be thrilled and relieved.

LisaJ68 · 15/10/2023 23:35

Yes, do this! My daughter lost her Floppy at 7 and didn't get over it for months, especially during emotional moments. I found a secondhand one on Ebay and told her her uncle had found it at her grandparents' cottage. She's 20 now and still takes Floppy everywhere and has no idea that he is Floppy #2.

WheekWheekWheek · 15/10/2023 23:40

@nutsnutspistachionuts that's a good solution. I wouldn't want to lie because lies usually get found out sooner or later.